Tim Tebow has pledged himself, body and soul, to CAA.

Showing the sort of bright and sunny leadership that has makes his brother Rahm such an uplifting presence, William Morris-Endeavor chief Ari Emanuel bucked up his troops this week with a poignant reminder that things have sucked for showbiz before.

Two of the largest, most storied baby-eating factories talent agencies in the world are merging. But sometimes, in order to birth a monster, the assistants must suffer. We have a few firsthand accounts.

· In a defection sure to cause at least one WMA partner to disembowel their assistant, then themselves, with the nearest People's Choice Award, Ellen Page has left the agency for Endeavor's Ariesque embrace. All-purpose power-lesbian Kelly Bush will continue to oversee management and publicity duties. [Variety]
· Apparently there's a shortage of prestige material so far for the 2008 Oscar race, but that could change just as soon as the Academy drastically alters the rules to give Camp Rock full eligibility in all categories. [Variety]

Hey cutie, need a place to sleep tonight? Let me get my head out of this bird's nest, and I'll hook you right up. If you're a defenseless model lost in a world filled with horrible people who aren't models, merely submit your vitals to ModelsHotel.com, the new antisocial network created by 24-year-old modeloid Jesper Lannung, above with gloves. The "gated community" of ModelsHotel will accept only professionally represented models, as opposed to the "'poseurs and wannabes' on MySpace." One alleged benefit is the chance for models to escape to their own selectively arranged group housing, as opposed to the little hamster cages run by their agencies. But who's going to change the newspaper in the corner and freshen the kibble?