Alec Baldwin has penned a long column for the Huffington Post about what Charlie Sheen should do instead of filing his crazy $100 million lawsuit against Warner Brothers.

Have you seen this video yet, of musician Anna Grace's five-year-old sister explaining her (very smart) feelings about financial independence and marriage? She seems quite sharp! Certainly smarter than the YouTube commenters on the video, many of whom use the phrase "man-hating." (Update! She wants to be a comedian or a writer, but she "needs someone to Tweet" her.)

Nigel Marsh, author of Fat, Forty, and Fired says that making grand, sweeping changes to your life will ultimately end in failure—much like a crash diet. Strategic little changes make the biggest difference, Marsh says. [Lifehacker]

Koch Industries is—and we say this strictly in the spirit of presenting their prevalent public image in an unfiltered manner—an evil mysterious Death Star-like conglomerate controlled by two unimaginably wealthy unaccountable right-wing billionaire brothers, who are evil. The Koch brothers have made news recently for hosting a secret conservative conclave to plot who-knows-what, and for harassing journalists. They're also suing a group of pranksters who issued a fake Koch press release. Today, the NYT gave the company a chance to defend itself in the court of public opinion. Anddddd....

Heartbreaking news from America's schools: children are approaching their teachers to ask what they should do now that their parents are unemployed. How embarrassing. Parents, don't let your kids blow up your spot. Talk to them about their newfound poorness.

Keith Olbermann's reign as king of the MSNBC bloviators is over. All he's done since leaving the network is tweet in a self-absorbed manner. What should K.O.'s next career move be? Allow us to offer some free advice.

Everyone is talking about whether or not host Ricky Gervais has been banned from future Golden Globe broadcasts, or if he should. Who cares? Here are 10 things that really should never appear on any awards show again.

Don't go to a huge casino right after being featured on America's Most Wanted for human trafficking. Casinos have lots of cameras.

The Northeast is currently a slushy, icy, slippery mess. This could lead to many falls! You know, hilarious moments when people topple to the ground, cursed by gravity. But what if that person is you? What do you do??

Christmas is only five days away, and it's likely that some of us (ahem) haven't done any shopping at all. Need some ideas? Here are some gift suggestions for the various weirdos you might still have to shop for.

The Way We Live Now: putting on our best suit, looking you square in the eye, and instructing you to do something. That "something" is to get back into the stock market, immediately. We expect our advice to be followed.

The Way We Live Now: sharing the wisdom. We don't need any eye-opening crisis or life-threatening illness to prompt us to share with you, the consumer, all of our accumulated economic wisdom. All we need is boredom. Bingo, let's go.

Talk show host Jimmy Kimmel had the brilliant idea to declare November 17th National Unfriend Day, when Facebook users should cull the unnecessary from the ranks of their friends. Here are the first people you should cut.

After the absurd spectacle of one of TV's most partisan shouting heads being suspended for making political donations, it's clear that the time has come for journalism's ethical guidelines to be updated, in the spirit of common sense. Let's try!

A public housing cleaner found a mattress she feared had bedbugs. She dragged it into the hallway, lit it on fire, and ran away. Now she has been charged with arson. (N.B. "Call an exterminator" is the correct response.)

What a week Juan Williams has had! From mild-mannered NPR analyst and Fox News liberal stand-in to multimillionaire full-time Fox News guy, thanks to one dumb comment. Fair warning, Juan: you're about to throw away your entire career. Needlessly.

The Post says it's wise to seek shelter underground if NYC is nuked.

The Way We Live Now: buying stocks. You better be! We are telling you, brother. You want a plan for long term financial success? Buy stocks. Right now. This is not even a joke.

Taiwanese animators did a bang-up job imagining Al Gore's crazed sex poodle fiasco, and their Conan O'Brien video was a work of art. But today's ho-hum take on Michelle Obama's vacation and uninspired rendition of Steve Slater's slide are subpar.

The Way We Live Now: paying later. Down the road our situation will more favorably facilitate the repayment of loans taken on credit that we cannot currently afford. We have faith! Faith is American! We won't be broke—later!