Every year there are those Halloween costume ideas that are topical and also easy to execute. That means at least one person at your Halloween party is going to have one of these costumes on. Don't be one of those cultural lemmings! If any of the following ideas are on your list, it's time to go back to the drawing board.

This isn't all about you, Main Street: Wall Street is going to lose 10,000 jobs by the end of next year, according to New York's comptroller. On top of more than 20,000 jobs already lost since 2008. That's a lot of unemployed bankers wandering around in a semi-fugue state!

Starting on Tuesday, cell phones will get reception at six subway stations on 14th Street, thereby ending the sweet, sweet silence on NYC's platforms. But just because you can use your phone doesn't mean you should. Here are some rules.

In our ongoing quest to be servicey and fill the maddening expanse of open pixels with something—anything—that might be useful to you, the reader, it's time for another edition of "Advice questions, reconsidered." Today: coupons! Dating! Cheapness! Sexxx!

It's a sad inevitability. No matter how hard you try, how accurately you plan, how much you control what you eat, it's going to happen at some point: you will have to poop at work. It's where the biological meets the professional and it's always, pardon the expression, a shit show. Let's try to make it easier, shall we?

In the future, things will be very slightly different. In the future, things will be worse. The future is now.

Remember Katherine Chloé Cahoon, the nation's foremost authority on how to meet European men? Well she is back! And she's brought some friends with her.

Today is Jill Abramson's first official day as the editor of The New York Times. Congratulations, Jill. We, the faceless Cheeto-eating bloggers of America, lovehate the New York Times as much as you do. Some unwanted advice, below.

Did you hear? Hurricane Irene is going to slam into New York City like Lindsay Lohan slamming into the sidewalk in front of a nightclub. It's going to be horrible! But we're sure you can make it through if you prepare adequately. Here's how.

Life's hard, but being dead is an even bigger pain in the ass. Here are some horror stories from people who were mistakenly declared dead by the Social Security Administration, which wrongly "kills" over 14,000 people each year. What do you do if it happens to you? Here's a useful guide:

As long as there have been celebrities, there have been celebrities getting arrested, and as long as there have been celebrities getting arrested, there have been celebrity mugshots. But what can we learn from them?

Andover kids. Celebukids. College kids. Old people. And—especially—Kreayshawn. Let me stop you right there. Whew! Glad I caught you. Hey, small tip: do not push that button. Do not touch that mic. Do not make that rap video.

It's only noon, and already the Dow has dropped by 325 241 336 points. Terror. Panic. Uncertainty. Fear. Should you dump all of your stocks and stash the cash while you still can? No. No. No!

Whoa, this whole "debt ceiling" thing sure is scary, right? Can you imagine a national default? All together now, American paupers: "Yes, we can fucking imagine it. Welcome to the club, rest of America."

An airman from the Royal Australian Air Force is being treated for "severe burns" after he apparently had a porta john mishap earlier today. A spokeswoman for the Department of Community Safety in Queensland told the Brisbane Times, "He was in a portaloo when there was some kind of explosion. It's believed he was lighting a cigarette at the time." So many potential jokes here, but damn, that's pretty rough.

Planning a safari anytime soon? If so, you might want to check out the results of a new study in the journal Public Library of Science ONE before you go. The extensive research shows that African lions are far more likely to eat you after dusk on the day following a full moon. Or, in more scientific terms, lions are more successful at "carcass acquisition" just after a full moon:

The media hysteria surrounding convicted-by-cable television personality Casey Anthony isn't going away anytime soon: Who is sheltering her? Will she write a book? When does her TV special air? These are all very important questions for a public that demands justice. And while reporters stalk her every move, the experts are coming out to suggest some very ingenious ways for Anthony to handle her new found freedom. One PR consultant went out on a limb, telling the Boston Herald that "she should definitely go underground for awhile." And Greg John, chairman of KHJ Brand Activation told the paper that the Casey Anthony brand is going to be a tough sell to the American public: "Reality is perception, and 90 percent of the people in this country think she is guilty. The best thing for her to do is lay low and have everyone forget."

A 17-year-old kid says he was beaten by cops in the Bronx after he walked past an officer who was scraping dog shit off his shoe and said, "It smells like doo-doo." Tyre Davis told the Daily News that he was then berated by the cops, handcuffed and later punched several times in the head. Who wouldn't laugh if they saw a cop step in dog shit?

If you're on Team Unhygienic—or if your various bodily perfumes, tinctures, and deodorizes surrender more readily than a Frenchman—and you can't pop into a drug store, never fear. You can MacGyver your way out of this. [Jezebel]

This summer it seems every day brings dire news of a new data breach perpetrated by shadowy hackers. For those prone to panic, it might be enough to end in a hospital visit. But there's no need to freak out about every single attack reported by a hacker-obsessed media.