People don't buy cars to get them from point A to point B. People buy cars for a feeling, dammit! And this car ad inspires some serious feelings: existential torment, lost love, special moments, sheer beauty. It's one of most visually evocative ads we've seen in a long time; a powerful composition. But then you see it's for Ford Fusion, and you're like, "WTF? Isn't that car a piece of crap?" Then you see the tagline at the end and you're like, "Ha, I don't think so." Then you're like, "SO WHAT DID HE SAY TO THE GIRL, YOU BASTARDS?" So, yes, very evocative. The full ad [via Adrants] after the jump.

Here is what we are almost positive is a ridiculous jokey parody of an ad agency that's been floating around the web, although you never know in these crazy times of foam-filled Miami streets and hypnotizing games for children. The brilliant idea—which will surely become reality in only a matter of time—is political product placement in phone sex scripts [Sunday/Knight Productions]. In the purported audition video below, they subtly sell Hillary Clinton's candidacy with profanity, racial insensitivity, and the slogan, "Experience C(o)unts!" Seeing is agreeing:

"For some children, watching "Dora the Explorer" on television is becoming passé. Now, they want to be Dora." Mother. Fuckers. They want to be Dora because multinational corporations are pouring millions into online games that masquerade as harmless diversions while actually indoctrinating children into brand worship! Nickelodeon is spending $100 million to draw in the children of the world with shiny games. Entertainment, retailers, junk food, and other huge business sectors are all using these games to lure kids into influencing purchasing decisions—some games are even designed for kids "on the laps of their moms." It's truly one of the most insidious forms of... hey, "Reese's Puffs Cereal Snowboard Slalom?" Sweet. [NYT]

When Virgin Mobile in Canada put out an ad with a Spitzer Sex Scandal theme just a day after the story broke, it was impressive. But any further Spitzer-themed ads that came to our attention after that just seemed derivative. Unless they managed to get themselves rejected by major media outlets for bad taste! Then, that would be a story. It's a strange situation when the marketing of an advertisement is far more clever than the ad itself, but that's what happened in the case of this ad from Scotch whisky brand The Balvenie. And here's why we're telling you this weird story at all:

TheFrisky.com has finally launched! If you have an exceedingly good memory, you'll recall it as the purportedly smart and fun love and sex site for women we previewed for you a month ago, which seeks to sneakily promote "Sex and the City" through dog sex. It seems that they've edited out most of the dog sex, unfortunately, and they no longer want to "bone Barack Obama"—a political shift. So how to put the actual live content into words? How about.... "SexyFashionGuysCuteSoooooooooAnnoying!"

China, the land where the human body is illegal, is threatening to ban a perfectly innocuous ad campaign by Pond's because it stars Tang Wei, the lead actress in Ang Lee's recent flick "Lust, Caution." The Chinese government feels that Tang Wei's sexy nude scenes in the film render her unfit for advertising. Heaven forbid the people of China be influenced in their skin cream purchasing decisions by a fellow citizen who was once naked—China got its population of 1.3 billion strictly through asexual reproduction. More than a week after the initial blacklisting of the actress, the fate of the ad campaign is still unclear [Ad Age]. After the jump, one of the Tang Wei ads, and the trailer for "Lust, Caution." Watch for yourself and be corrupted.

Cisco Systems is the main sponsor for the History Channel show "Modern Marvels," but being the main sponsor wasn't enough. Now, Cisco is actually having themselves magically inserted into old episodes of the show, with just a little bit of new footage and some re-editing. The result is a three-minute "mini-documentary" in which Cisco execs talk about the show's topic, which will be "seamlessly woven in" to the show's commercial breaks. Um, scary! Next thing we know, the Gorton's Fisherman will be rescuing Gilligan on Nick At Nite. Could this ultimately lead to our dead heroes having their memories dredged up just to sell useless dreck? Oh, too late. [TVWeek, History.com]

The upcoming Sex and the City movie is going to be huuuge. Move over Academy Awards, this is going to be the new Super Bowl for ladies. Or at least advertisers hope so. The New York Times reports today about all the crazy marketing that's tied up in the movie's release. It's integrated! It's sassy! It's absolutely everywhere. ("the Skyy is the limit," writes Stuart Elliot.) Want to feel chic and cosmopolitan? Just trundle up to your local Houlihan's restaurant. You'll be able to sip a SATC themed drink named after your favorite character. Just like real New York ladies.

In today's installment of our review of the world's most amusing vintage ads, we take a look at General Electric's magazine ads from the 1930s and 40s. When they weren't building US bombs to help the war effort, they had a mess of lamps, refrigerators, and radios to sell to housewives and their all-American families in shudder-worthy ways. Boris Karloff, scary children, patriotic dishwashing, and the perfect Mother's Day gift, after the jump.

Stereotypical hipster brand American Apparel has always walked the fine line between sexiness and porn with its ads (like the one pictured). Or gone over the line, depending on your perspective. But now the anonymous prankster that earlier posted a fake finger-in-the-butt AA billboard has struck again, helping the company along its inevitable path to becoming a full-blown pornography producer. Why beat around the bush? Heh. After the jump, the two new naked AA ad spoofs [via Copyranter] that have appeared in downtown NYC. Possibly NSFW, if you consider simple line drawings to fit in that category.

After weighing the comments in response to our post yesterday, we've picked a winning slogan for the upcoming Virgin Mobile Canada ad featuring Barack Obama. As you'll recall, the company already cranked out a sexy Spitzer scandal ad, and Obama is the next man on their schedule. They certainly didn't ask for any input on the slogan, but we decided to give them some anyhow. From you, and for free! There's no better deal. Two runners up, the winner, and our email to Virgin Mobile Canada corporate communications (as promised), below.

Insane fundamentalist Christian group American Family Association has declared victory in a two-year boycott against Ford Motor Company and its "significant support of the homosexual agenda." This, despite the fact that Ford says it negotiated no settlement, and is still involved with groups that work in support of gay marriage [Mixed Media]. It's the "Declare victory and go home" strategy, apparently. The AFA is very opposed to any ads "aimed at the homosexual community specifically." Except maybe ads for [jokey regular product with a gay reputation—suggestions?]! But the truth is that auto ads targeting gays have been standard for quite a while now, in America and internationally. After the jump, some of the most obvious examples.

In record time, the Spitzer "Client #9" scandal has been turned into an ad for Virgin Mobile in Canada [click to enlarge]. Another ad in the series shows Hillary Clinton with a thought bubble saying "I wish my bill wasn't so out of control." Hey, only blogs are allowed to make sex jokes that blatant. The next ad up in the series will reportedly be Barack Obama—what trite slogan will they come up with for him? Ideas in the comments. We'll send the best one to Virgin Mobile, to be ignored. [Marketing Magazine via Dealbreaker]

The Gallery of Graphic Design has a huge archive of classic ads [via MetaFilter], which illustrates quite clearly how much better things were in the old days. We plan to bring you the best of this fabulous resource, for the twin purposes of education and entertainment. Their overall weirdness is just an added bonus. Today, the best work of the Chap Stick Co. from the 1940s: "Refuse all substitutes." Especially when it comes to "Man's Cream!"

Sony's Bravia line is famous for making incredible, spectacular ads. They did one that involved dropping a quarter of a million Super Balls. They did another in which they blew up 70,000 liters of paint. You get the idea. Awesomeness! Their newest (unreleased) ad has them covering entire city streets in Miami with bubbles. What does this have to do with selling TVs? No idea! Is it worth it to make wildly expensive performance art pieces as branding exercises for a line of electronics? Who knows? But we have some pictures of them filming the ad [via Adland], and a clip of that crazy super ball production, after the jump. If you can parse the logic here, you are either a great philosopher or a great salesman.

Are you a summertime golf enthusiast, a woman with hot flashes, or just someone who enjoys comically conspicuous consumption? If so, you need to run out and purchase some Evian Mineral Water Spray straightaway. With every spritz of the five ounce, $10 bottle, you send the message: I have spent $10 on five ounces of water. Oh, wait; it's propelled by nitrogen. Well then. [via Adrants]

"PR News Channel." If you look closely, you can detect a contradiction in that name. But that didn't stop the launch of the new, highly craptastic site PRNewsChannel.tv, which aspires to be the "YouTube for Businesses." At the moment, it's more like the "YouTube for people who don't like to watch much at all." It will supposedly grow into a repository of video news releases; let's hope that it is driven into nonexistence by the sheer weight of its own inanity before that happens. After the jump, one of the few videos available on the site right now: "How to Take Konsyl Fiber Shake It!" It's oddly hypnotic.

Hillary Clinton tried to scare us all with that "Ohmigod this here red phone is ringing in the White House at 3AM with some crisis and do you really want some young black man answering it?" ad. It failed. In the end, she couldn't even convince the little girl in the ad to vote for her—that girl, Casey Knowles, is now 17 and an Obama supporter. We don't know what's creepier: That a presidential campaign can just take decade-old stock footage of a child and use it in a national ad, to her surprise; or that ABC News refers to Casey Knowles as "3 A.M. Girl." That's just creepy [ABC]. After the jump, our current favorite remix of the Hillary ad—now with increased accuracy!

What would you do if, out of the blue, you—a reporter—got a mysterious scrawled-on envelope in the mail one day with only a pair of panties in it? Probably be happy, if you're a man. But what if, the next day, you got an anonymous ransom note-style card with your picture on it, reading "I've got my eyes on you?" Load the gun and call the fucking police, that's what. But don't worry! It was all a PR stunt by some "branding agency" to get some media love! What. The. Hell? Bad move, to say the least. This is America, where reporters shoot first, ask questions later. [via Ad Age]

The great thing about the idea of "guerilla marketing" is that everything qualifies! Did you tell your friend a movie is good? Guerilla marketing. Put a sticker up? Guerilla marketing. Wear a certain kind of shoe? Total guerilla marketing. Now, it appears that the simple act of scrawling on posters on the street with a black marker qualifies as a sophisticated guerilla marketing campaign. The Black Lips probably paid thousands to an underground marketing firm so secret that you have to find its phone number written on the wall of the Alife bathroom to get this kind of street-level PR for their upcoming show. Or they just did it themselves when they were drunk one night. After the jump, photo evidence [via Copyranter] of this three-is-a-trend strategic marker-based promo campaign currently invading the streets of the East Village. (Ha, the "lips" thing is kinda clever though).