Occasionally, when the planets align just so and the sun strikes the Earth at the exact right location, we witness that rarest of phenomena known as Disney Ads on Smut Sites. Or at least that's what gutter-minded rabblerouser Drunken Stepfather calls it, having caught as many as six different instances of Walt Disney World Web ads aligned beside Egotastic's recent coverage of sex tapes, flashings and other NSFW (and definitely NSFDW) mini-scandals.

What is the single most repellent image that humans can conjure up? Apparently, it's scorpions. Trendhunter has a list of the Top 50 "Shockvertisements" in recent history—ads that stirred up a controversy. The most common thread, obviously, is sex; but three different campaigns on the list chose to shock people by picturing scorpions. Scorpions that are touching you! Advertisers find that no other bug comes close in its ability to disgust. Below, pictures of the three scorpion ads: one is shocking but effective, one is weird but effective, and one is just misguided.

The logo of a street artist in LA named Skullphone started popping up on digital billboards around the city owned by Clear Channel. Awesome! said the collective street art world. The kid has hacked into the big media monster Clear Channel's network! It's digital graffiti! It's culture jamming! It's the new media revolution! But then it came out that Skullphone had just bought time on the billboards, like every other schmoe. Is that even cool? I'm sure Michel Foucault would have something deep to say about this, but I'm not sure what it would be. Money ad street art! [Wired]

Back in the 1930s and 40s, Kellogg's cereal was a steamroller. It didn't have all types of boutique designer cereals to compete against, so you were damn well going to eat it. And Kellogg's wasn't shy in positioning itself. It's not just something you consume; its products will cure constipation, calm your nerves, and give your man the PEP he needs to do you all night long, baby. Not to mention: single-serving Kellogg's boxes defeated Hitler. All that, and a 13-year-old girl in—I'm sorry—ugly clothes, after the jump.

Germans: they have so much time on their hands! Some German guy with a website took the time to photograph the pictures of 100 different food items on their own packaging; then, photograph the actual food item inside. Then, post the whole mess on the internet [Funtasticus via Coudal]. The results, as you might imagine, are frequently disgusting. So we've culled the list for you down to the five biggest disparities between the advertised product and reality. Before you eat any more packaged German food, you must see this:

San Francisco-based advertising guru Hal Riney died this week at the age of 75. He masterminded a ton of corporate ad campaigns, but he'll go down in the history books as the man whose ads helped re-elect Ronald Reagan in 1984 [NYT]. His masterpiece for Reagan was "It's Morning Again In America," a minute-long spot that reassured Americans that everything is okay—with the rich, fatherly voice-over provided by Riney himself. Barack Obama really could have used this guy for the next several months. After the jump, the full version of Riney's "Morning Again" spot. Welfare moms probably didn't appreciate its success.

Do you know what defines what it means to "be true?" That's right, Nike Dunks! Not only that, but that particular shoe "HAS BECOME AN ICON OF self-expression and a symbol of DEMOCRATIC STYLE." The Revolution is Basketball! Freedom is slavery! It's a Brave New World! Nike Dunks were introduced in 1985—if it had been 1984, people might be inclined to make jokes about its dystopian advertising rhetoric. Below, a full look at the amazingly dramatic prose on a flier promoting what is just a Nike-sponsored photography show, "in the spirit of the shoe that inspires those who dare to be different." [Hypebeast]. I'd hate to see them if they really get worked up.

Here's a good look at Liberty Mutual's feast of responsibility: the simplistic blog post on ResponsibilityProject.com that the company was seeking to promote by buying up deceased ad executive Paul Tilley's name in Google Adwords. "When a 40-year-old Chicago advertising executive named Paul Tilley died recently, the cause of death was officially ruled suicide," the post says. "But some believe that Tilley was metaphorically pushed by a steady stream of malicious comments anonymously posted about him online in the weeks before he took his life." Well, the investigators got it all wrong, then! We also notice that they've bought the word "responsibility." And after the jump, you can watch one of the site's responsibility-promoting films: "A man is just another passenger on a bus until he comes face to face with a thief. And a choice." So he chose to steal a dead guy's name to sell insurance, right? Surprisingly, no!

There was a ton of debate about the death of Paul Tilley, the ad agency exec who committed suicide last month. Some people charged mean bloggers with helping to push him over the edge—charges that seemed increasingly ridiculous, as people took time to consider the full situation. But Liberty Mutual, the huge insurance company, had another thought about Tilley's death: what a great way to promote our company! And that's exactly what they did, the sickos.

Vice Magazine, which was ironically abandoned by its target audience of dirty trendsetters at the exact moment it became popular, has finally discovered how to sell out IN SECRET. The new issue has an ad for BMW superimposed on the freaking cover itself—but it doesn't appear until you turn out the lights! As long as you don't read it in the dark, nobody will know you are bought and owned by corporations just like everything else in this rotten country, dude. This is a brilliant idea that may save the American print media and destroy the editorial/ advertising divide as we know it, and that's really all we have to say about that. [Media In Canada]

How come I can't get past the sneaky feeling that Common is a tool? The feel-good, conscious-style Chicago rapper makes truly fresh music, he reps causes like animal rights, and he's an Obama supporter. He's even speaking out with a message of love to defend Obama's controversial pastor Jeremiah Wright [BV Buzz]! I can get with that. So what's the problem? Oh! I know what it is. He rhymed in a fucking GAP ad. Then there was that fucking Lincoln Navigator ad. And the fucking Smirnoff ads. And now he's going to be a gunslinging tough guy in a fucking Keanu Reeves movie? Yes, I think I've put my finger on it. I never really liked his stupid outfits either, honestly. But then again, I'm a hater. Trailer for Street Kings—with Common blasting away like a tool—after the jump.

Remember that whole "Campaign For Real Beauty" by Dove that was all about showing that real, non-model women can be pretty too? Well, they're moving on from all that. They have a new, more fitting face now: beautiful, famous, shapely singer Alicia Keys. Screw you, real women! Dove is sponsoring a new "micro-series" called "Fresh Takes" starring Keys. It will air, appropriately, during The Hills on MTV. They've also used research to uncover this critical fact: "96 percent of women in their twenties say their inner voice speaks to them on a typical day." Psychosis? From the looks of the preview, this show will be stilted and terrible; the trailer, after the jump.

Visa knows what you like: naked men. A long, solid ad of a running, naked man. I have watched this entire thing, as a professional duty, and I can confirm that it has more than your daily allotment of naked running man ass. My only question is, what the hell was he doing in the desert in the first place? Sunburn and all that. Do not allow the naked man to distract you from the underlying message: Use Visa in support of naked men. Click to watch the (SFW!) nakedness. [via Guardian UK]

Forget Justin Long as Mac and John Hodgman as PC. The latest computer pitchman could be Johnny Knoxville, star of MTV's Jackass series. A reader of the blog Cajun Boy in the City claims to have been in a focus group for an unnamed company he believes is Microsoft. Redmond's marketing execs recently hired ad firm Crispin Porter & Bogusky, the creators of Miller Lite's "Man Laws" campaign and Burger King's live-action "King." The reader writes:

Now this would be an interesting potential genius move/ mistake: According to an unverifiable leak to Gawker-approved blogger Cajun Boy In The City, Microsoft might be thinking about Johnny Knoxville as its cool new answer to Mac's young annoying hipster spokesman, Justin Long. You'll recall that Microsoft recently hired a new, more with-it ad agency in a bid to stop getting humiliated in 30-second spots. Is this what they came up with? We've emailed the company for comment [UPDATE: Microsoft's PR firm emails us: "Microsoft is planning a consumer advertising campaign with Crispin Porter & Bogusky. We have no other details to share at this time." Thanks!]. After the jump, the entire email [via Cajun Boy] from someone who purportedly attended a Microsoft focus group and saw it all firsthand.

Highly paid creative advertising experts have come up with an idea for an ad that is sure to knock your funny bone right out of joint: the Eliot Spitzer scandal! Remember that mess with the governor, and the hooker? Now it's fodder for ads! These people are quick, you have to give them that! Politico got hold of the following casting call for a new hotel commercial; what do you get when a Caucasian man, a Caucasian woman, an African-American male, and a British guy walk into a hotel? Hilarity!:

The New York Times has given over an unusually large end-to-end box on its home page above its news content to Apple, for an ad [click to enlarge]. It's not the first time this has happened. Not only does this type of thing provoke journalism purists to wonder whether the paper of record is losing its perspective on the editorial/ advertising divide; it also makes Gov. Bill Richardson look like he's going to be crushed by a giant apple.

A site called The New Enthusiasm, which has been raising a ruckus around the web for the last few days with its fake Marc Jacobs ads, has been outed as the work of a creative agency named Hart + Larsson. It was obvious, since Marc Jacobs won't really start using unkempt, out-of-shape, bearded male models in wigs for at least another year or two. [Agenda Inc.]

Sometimes subtle innuendo is called for in advertising; and if they can't master the "subtle" part, it just gets too weird to watch. Like this (Spanish, subtitled) ad for milk. There's a witch, see, that comes to town once a month, if you get our drift. The witch is like, a woman acting pissy once a month, see what we're saying? Okay. But then she drinks milk and her witchery is cured, because milk cures PMS. Could have used quite a bit more subtlety. Also, milk cures PMS, really? Click the clip to watch the crazy calcium claims. [via AdScam]

Converse already went ahead and co-opted the image of sacred counterculture icons like Hunter Thompson and Sid Vicious for their new ad campaign, "All Your Dead Heroes Are Our Marketing Tools." Now they've decided to go for the gusto: they're producing a limited edition series of Kurt Cobain Converse. It's all approved by the estate of the tragic Nirvana front man—i.e. Courtney Love—but um, really? "I feel stupid, and contagious," indeed. Pics of the lyrics-encrusted shoes [via Ad Age/ The Daily Swarm] after the jump.