Yes, yes, we know it's ironic.

• Hurrah: Mag ad revenues were nicely up in 2005. [Folio:]
• Boo: Mag ad pages barely rose in 2005. [Ad Age]
• Kurt Andersen is the godfather of snark, says Jon Friedman. And we fear for the day — and that day may never come — when Kurt calls upon us to do a service for him. [MW]
• Robin Williams made an ass of himself at Jann Wenner's big birthday bash. [WWD]
• TW COO Jeff Bewkes agrees with his boss, that the company shouldn't be split up, rather than with Carl Icahn, who thinks otherwise and is harassing his boss. Shocking news, that. [MW]

We confess that we're actually quite enjoying save-the-world week here at Gawker, in which the combined effect of all the advertising on the site is to approach the tone of the Mary Schmich/"Kurt Vonnegut" alleged commencement address. (Don't start wildfires! Master the Internet! Wear sunscreen!)

We were as surprised as you were to find Smokey the Bear advertising on Gawker today. "Only you can prevent wildfires," he's warning us gravely, expertly tugging our heartstrings with what appears to be a picture of soon-to-be-incinerated Bambi. Is there really a big problem with Gawker readers starting wildfires? Could we even start wildfires? One imagines wildfires require wilderness, which — as someone might inform the Forest Service — is in short supply in Manhattan. Indeed, we can think of any number of more useful PSA campaigns for folks like us:

Because the AIDS awareness and advocacy campaigns have gotten a little stale (Elijah Wood and duct tape? So 1994 snuff — yawn!), the AIDS Healthcare Foundation has decided to create a minor controversy by throwing a hissy-fit over a Pfizer print ad for Viagra. The foundation, which is the largest advocacy group in the country, claims an advertisement for the boner-maker "encourages the use of Viagra as a party drug" and thus contributes to the spread of itchy crotch and other sexually transmitted diseases.

We don't know how old this vintage poster for sale on eBay is, we don't know what kind of shape it's in, and we don't know if it's worth any real money. Most important, though, we also had no idea that Anderson Cooper has been doing ad campaigns for French cologne.

Kate Moss Signs New Contract [Virgin Mobile]
Putting Humor to Use in Some Reputation Rehab [NYT]

On the heels of Mort Zuckerman's decision to stop funding Radar magazine because its ad sales weren't what he'd hoped, a source within a small book ad agency forwards along this email from a Radar ad salesman, which suggests why there might have been some difficulties:

To be clear: We have nothing inherently against huge, soulless, multinational corporations. So it's not that we hate Starbucks simply because it's taking over the world; it's that we hate Starbucks because it serves bitter, too-hot, ridiculously overpriced coffee. And we also hate them for this, snapped by wandering shutterbug Bucky Turco:

As some of you have noticed, Anderson Cooper 360° has, it seems, colonized our website, often occupying every ad space around the perimeter of the page. We couldn't be happier — presumably CNN's paying our bosses nicely for the privilege, and, well, we've long dreamed of being inside Anderson. (Others, meantime, aren't as unequivocally pleased. "What's up with Anderson Cooper all over the fucking place?" Sven wondered in a comment.)

Today's Post carries some news that we're sure is designed to make everyone fizzy and caffeinated with excitement. It seems Coca-Cola has a new advertising slogan:

The signs were there. We saw them. But we chose to ignore them. Because we didn't want to believe such a thing. Come on, our beloved anchor? Our favorite sister? They wouldn't do that to us. They couldn't. They just couldn't!

We've got to congratulate Jimmy Choo on this great ad, found bannered on the Allure website:

Virgin Mobile has launched its holiday ad campaign, quasi-humorously titled Chrismahanukwanzakah. In one commercial, we see several "holiday minorities" (Hindu Santa, Buddhist Cowboy, and Jews) conducting a telethon; also working the phones is the somewhat frightening Gay Elf, pictured above.

We're all used to the opulently offensive "luxury homes and estates" advertising in the back on the Times Magazine each week. But one appeared recently that must have reached a heretofore uncharted level of obnoxiousness by making explicitly clear that, frankly, our kind is not welcome there, dear:

• Martha Stewart's next mag, Blueprint, will cater to 20-somethings buying their first homes. God, might we actually have to read it? [AdAge]
• Talking Points Memo'er Josh Marshall hires two bloggers to report for him. Bloggers who have to report?! Huh? Wha? [NY Sun]
• Craig of Craiglist to launch journalism project. Which is good, because he's slowly killing newspapers by taking their classifieds, anyway. [Guardian]
• Total mag ad pages up ever so slightly in 2005. Woo-hoo! Not dead yet! [MIN]
• Disaggregated media content confuses Simon Dumenco, who generously offers to disaggregate his column. [AdAge]
• Greg Mitchell says John Tierney is full of shit. [E&P]
• NBC Universal to close Trio, leaving one fewer cable network you don't watch. [Hollywood Reporter via MSNCB]

In the face of natural disaster, we too wonder what the fuck to wear. A riveted hobo bag really would go nicely with those deadly muscles aches and pains.

He said, she said.

We understand that we might but not be the best arbiters of such matters, but are we the only ones sort of astonished by this tourist-bureau ad?

Why auto-served ads on news sites are not the best idea, part 467,251: