Turn you and your friends into Svedka Party_Bots. Svedka, voted the #1 vodka of 2033.

Turn you and your friends into Svedka Party_Bots. Svedka, voted the #1 vodka of 2033.

Down in Austin, Texas, right here in the US of A, there is a man named Tito Beveridge. He handmakes delicious vodka in Texas's first and only legal distillery, and seems like basically the nicest human being on the planet.

Ever had trouble taming your Jewfro? So has Matthew Rothschild. And he can tell you it's even harder to do when you're the only Jew at Briar Patch Elementary on the Upper East Side.

Today is "Bucket O' Gold Day" and there's treasure to be found all over the city. So head out with your buddies to an Irish pub in search of buckets of liquid gold: Corona.

Ever had trouble taming your Jewfro? So has Matthew Rothschild. And he can tell you it's even harder to do when you're the only Jew at Briar Patch Elementary on the Upper East Side.

In Spread, Ashton Kutcher plays Nikki, a freeloading quasi-gigolo who uses his looks and charm to acquire the luxe life lived by LA's richest women—until he finds the one who doesn't fall for him.

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This week's zing captures the essence of a mother's love. And the crapload of guilt their kids get as a special bonus. Inspired by the release of reporters Ling and Lee, commenter LatestBy sums it up in one exasperated sigh.

Watch queen of all insults Joan Rivers get deeply insulted (well, as deeply as Botox permits) in a spirit of comedic camaraderie by host Kathy Griffin on Comedy Central's Roast of Joan Rivers. Premieres August 9 at 10 p.m. ET.

...by completing this fun-filled survey about YOU. Send the last question to surveys@gawker.com, thereby entering to win a $300 AMEX gift card. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach together. Love, Gawker. [Contest rules apply.]

What better story this week than Annie Leibovitz's financial hellscape to inspire you to let one rip?

Turn you and your friends into Svedka Party_Bots. Svedka, voted the #1 vodka of 2033.

Wait no longer! The highly-anticipated second season of Bravo's hit series The Real Housewives of Atlanta returns TONIGHT at 10 p.m. ET/PT. See what drama has been going down in the ATL when everyone's favorite southern gals return, including new housewife Kandi.

Whether you spend weekends hobnobbing in the Hamptons or strolling the Coney Island Boardwalk, you know that as a New Yorker, you've got to look hot. Join Gilt Groupe to gain access to exclusive sales this week on designs by Carlos Falchi, Gara Danielle, and Susan Hanover.

Actually golfing? Lame. The cool kids are inside, the dulcet tones of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10 commentators just audible over the whir of the air conditioner. So take this survey, email the last question to surveys@gawker.com and enter to win a Nintendo Wii. Stay pale! [Standard contest rules apply.]

Electric Literature presents Jim Shepard's "Your Fate Hurtles Down at You" (trailer) from Editors Electric Literature on Vimeo.

After a fun-filled week of contemplating what it all means that hipsters are splashing about in Dumpsters all across Brooklyn, it's apropos that our zing of the week comes from commenter I do love Sherry with this astute query regarding everyone's favorite pastime—Dumpster swimming:

Embracing his newfound goal of being well-liked, Kanye West is performing his first-ever live TV concert—with proceeds benefiting the Kanye West Foundation. So not douchey!