“Men,” the less popular version of women, have shorter life spans, more violent tendencies, and less academic success. Are acronyms the solution to our national masculinity crisis?

The CIA has launched the Wikileaks Task Force, known around agency headquarters as simply WTF. How appropriate.

The following is a three-paragraph press release sent out today entitled "Nielsen and WPP to Swap Assets," which we have stripped of everything but its acronyms: "WPP AGBNielsen WPP. AGBNMR, WPP: SRDS, PERQ/HCI, IBOPE PDM, IBOPE LA IMI.Com, IBOPE WPP IBOPE WPP’s WPP AGBNMR TNS’s CEO AGBNMR AGBNMR SRDS PERC/HCI CEO AGBNielsen TNS IBOPE, PERQ/HCI SRDS. AGB CEO." Short good! [Thanks J.]

Have you, like most of the creative underclass, been wondering to yourself, "What happened to all those yuppies we heard so much about in the 1980s?" Well at least in the UK, they're still there—but they have switched to a new acronym. Without so much as sending out a press release! Young urban professionals have grown up and become ARPPies: Asset-Rich, Penny Poors. And judging by one Arppie's soul-searching self-evaluation, they've given up the flashy cars and coke orgies in favor of "discussing the economy, the credit crunch and the cost of food."