Stumbling, bastard network The CW is reaching back for inspiration—all the way back to teen drama prehistory, that magical moment when single-celled organisms of privilege sprouted legs, slithered onto the Malibu shore, and eventually stood upright to become the cast of Beverly Hills 90210. There they flourished, living by the harsh natural law of survival of the tannest, and shopping and fucking the prime years of their lives away, with only the occasional rape and meth addiction to slow down the evolutionary process. Would lighting strike twice? That certainly is what The CW is hoping with its 90210 spinoff series. Variety has gotten their hands on the casting breakdown for a show centering around "the Mills family," who relocate from St. Louis to the titular postal service area. The primary players:

If it's almost ten years later, is it a spin-off or just a weird remake? We'll find out when The CW airs its planned Beverly Hills: 90210 "spin-off." You know, if it ever airs. Rob Thomas, who created Veronica Mars and must get lonely at three a.m., is writing the script that may or may not feature some of the original characters. Just as long as it's not about Steve's little brothers. ::Shudder:: [Us]

Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

Having lost many years and countless brain cells to the various Aaron Spelling-produced entertainments of our youth, we were thrilled to receive an invitation to last Friday night's DVD release party for the first seasons of 90210 and Melrose Place at the Beverly Hilton. Even though we were quite content to celebrate the occasion by huddling at home and staring at an autographed Tiger Beat cover of Jason Priestly we recently obtained at astronomical cost from eBay seller BrandonFan1991, we still dispatched Defamer staff photographer Amy Rodrigue to capture the laughs, tears, and emotional group hugs (Shannen Doherty didn't show up, so there were no third-degree bodily assaults to former castmates with utensils from the buffet) we were sure would accompany the many reunions fostered by such a momentous event. After the jump, our photos from the party, complete with just about every 90210/Melrose reference we could think of without consulting Steve Sanders and Amanda Woodward fan sites.