It takes several long stares to comprehend that these photos depict rapper 50 Cent, who once looked like this. In the name of his burgeoning acting career, he removed several tattoos and lost 60 lbs. to play a cancer patient.

In an interview in Details, openly gay singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright says that he knows that 50 Cent is gay. How? Because Mr. Cent has a funny voice and Rufus wants him. Yeah, that's some very sound logic there.

But now we've got a marijuana rumor. Emma Watson gets an on-campus boyfriend. Liz Hurley and Hugh Grant reunite to trade tips for graceful aging. Courtney Love admits to physically harming her daughter. Sunday gossip turns back the clock.

50 Cent continues to earn the "actor" part of his "rapper-actor" moniker. The Hurt Locker wins a bunch of non-Oscar awards. Shutter Island wins the weekend. Betty White might host SNL. The Roundup cares about hockey. Do you?

As the Sheen-Mueller cycle of violence rounds another bend, we have no choice but to end the year depressingly. Tracy Morgan buys lube, Kate Hudson goes "psycho," Jonases contemplate break-up. Should auld gossip be forgot: Thursday gossip lang syne.

"I feel bad" for boyfriends whose girlfriends don't send them XXX self-portraits, says Rihanna; Tiger Woods' sexy texts messages are out; LiLo and SamRo make nice. Wednesday's gossip is one nip slip short of a tabloid triathlon.

• Is disgraced publicist Ali Wise the latest addition to the cast of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show? Possibly! Wise apparently wants people to know "she's still out on the scene and doing fine" and taped an appearance at the opening of pal Stacey Bendet's new store last week. And she's expected to turn up in other episodes of the show. Let's just hope that Wise—who allegedly stalked women her ex dated—and the Tinz don't clash over any German princes or former American Idol contestants, or things could get ugly. [NYDN]
• In case you were worried that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were going through a rough patch, you can stop stressing. They celebrated her birthday at a club in the meatpacking district over the weekend and reportedly "looked very much in love all night." [P6]
• Penelope Cruise still hasn't confirmed whether or not she's engaged to Javier Bardem, but she's been shopping for a wedding dress recently, at least according to In Touch magazine's "sources." [In Touch via NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn's super-short hair is her signature, but it has its downsides, too, it seems. A woman propositioned the Brit model at a party the other night. Deyn "politely turned her down." [P6]

Is Jamie Dimon in line to replace Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner? That's that the Post suggests today, pointing to increased chatter in political circles that the JPMorgan Chase chief would make a "good fit," and Dimon's own efforts to build a higher profile in Washington in recent weeks. One thing that's for sure: 50 Cent is going to be crushed to hear this news today. [NYP]

Tyra Banks shopping in the West Village with a Gucci fanny pack around her waist ... Sienna Miller walking her dog (and picking up after her, too) ... Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen leaving an office building in Midtown ... Anna Paquin arriving on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Katie Holmes carrying coffee on Long Island ... Regis Philbin walking on the Upper West Side ... 50 Cent leaving the PIX11 Morning News studios ... Shia LaBeouf filming scenes for Wall Street 2 on the Upper West Side ... Edie Falco taking a break while filming Nurse Jackie ... and Glee star Cory Monteith leaving dinner at Southern Hospitality.

President Obama now has a backup plan in the event he decides to kick Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to the curb. 50 Cent has graciously stepped forward and offered to help the president run the U.S. economy. If President Obama needs him, of course.

The show may or may not get higher ratings than the American Idol finale, but the subject of who will host and produce the 82nd Academy Awards telecast remains Hollywood's perennial obsession.

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. [MSNBC, People, NYDN]
• In other Jackson family news, Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with LaToya Jackson, which will air on September 11. Exciting, huh? [ABC]
• Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on earth—at least when it comes to computer viruses. People who seek out info on Biel online stand a one-in-five chance of visiting a site "designed to damage their computer." [Us]

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] July 27 @ 1pm "Look at that idiot wearing his helmet on the back of his head," my friend said. Someone yelled "HOLY SHIT THAT'S 50 CENT!!" He smiled and waved.

• 50 Cent has put his estate in Farmington, Conn. back on the market—for about $8 million less than what he was seeking two years ago when when he first listed it. The 51,000-square-foot house, which comes with 19 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms, and a fully-functional club with stripper poles, had been listed for $14.5 million when it was taken off the market last month. It now can be yours for the bargain basement price of $10.9 million. [NYP, NYDN, CB]
• The former home of the late novelist Mary Cantwell has sold after nearly two years on the market. The 3,720-square-foot townhouse at 21 Perry Street, which was first listed for $7.75 million in 2007, was purchased for $5.7 million by Brandon Haley, a portfolio manager at Ken Griffin's Chicago-based hedge fund, Citadel Investment Group, and his wife Anna. [Cityfile]

• New details have emerged about Mischa Barton's involuntary trip to the hospital last week: According to the Post and the Sun, Barton was "so high on coke following a marathon three-day bender" that friends thought she might kill herself, and contacted the police. [NYP, Sun]
• Yet another fashion publicist is in legal trouble, apparently. Tim Mark Garcia, the new head of public relations for Marc Jacobs, is out on bond on "plunder" charges and is now facing extradition back to the Philippines. [P6]
• Not surprisingly, billionaire financier Pete Peterson is said to be "mortified" over how his grandson, PC, has come off on the Bravo show NYC Prep. [P6]
• French president Nicolas Sarkozy was in NYC this weekend. And he showed off his "chiseled" body when he went jogging in Central Park. [NYDN]

Jon, Kate, and the Cabal of 8 hit the streets of New York and their crew's already beefing with people. Also, Robert Pattinson's a shitty tipper, 50 Cent's a shitty real estate buyer, Mischa Barton's sad and crazy. Happy Sunday!

50 Cent turns 34 today. George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, is turning 63. Nancy Reagan is 88. Sylvester Stallone is turning 63. Actor Geoffrey Rush is 58. Former Mets manager Willie Randolph turns 55. Ex-Barneys CEO Howard Socol is 64. Brazilian model Caroline Trentini is turning 22. Robin Antin, the Pussycat Dolls founder and sister of hairstylist Jonathan Antin, is 48. And the Dalai Lama turns 74 today.

On this rainy (still???) Father's Day weekend I wanted to debut yet another new feature for the toolchest: TAN Remakes the Hits! Herewith: a remix to "21 Questions" by nutrient-enhanced rapper 50 Cent.