Texas Rep. Louis Gohmert, a terribly silly person best known for his "terror babies" warning, has devised an ingenious plan to eliminate welfare forever! Recipients can promise to never joins the welfare rolls again, in exchange for some farmland.

Spike Lee's If God Is Willing and Da Creek Don't Rise found Brad Pitt dropping a superb A Streetcar Named Desire reference and explaining how he is single-handedly organizing the rehousing of the Ninth Ward.