Subway Sandwich Vastly Improved by Addition of Dead Mouse
A Lincoln City, Oregon man who requested food from Subway, an industrial waste recycling outfit, was pleasantly surprised when the sheaths of reconstituted rubber pulp in a noxious-smelling caramel-colored foam “bun” he was served included actual organic matter, in the form of a dead mouse. Sweet!
SFGate quotes Matt Jones as saying his friend ordered an Italian sub—in starvation-related delirium, I’m sure—and asked for spinach, which, ominously, was scooped out of a giant tub. Fortunately, the random waste tub full of ruined roughage also contained an item occasionally eaten on purpose by omnivores, unlike literally everything else in the sandwich.
“I laughed because I was like, there is no way this just happened,” Jones said.
He’s right—most Subway customers are nowhere near this lucky.
A health inspector was called to the scene, no doubt to inquire what business an industrial plant had selling any of its non-mouse materials as food. Subway, for their part, has declined to identify the source of the spinach bin containing a rare morsel of by-God animal protein.
