Pro Tip: Masturbate in the McDonald's Parking Lot at Your Own Risk
An elderly Florida man was arrested last week for allegedly masturbating to porn on a laptop in the front seat of his Mercedes, while parked at the local McDonald's.
Spencer Toner, 79, was allegedly lovin' it when he "was observed by a deputy inside his 1982 black Mercedes Benz C300 looking at pornographic pictures on a laptop computer," according to the Southwest Florida News-Press:
After knocking on the car window, the deputy said Toner rolled the window down, removed the laptop, and asked if he could help the officer.
The deputy said that once the laptop was removed he saw that Toner's pants were unbuttoned and there was a white rag placed between his legs.
Toner told the deputy that he'd stopped by McDonald's to "get a bite to eat," according to WBBH-TV. But a witness who identified Toner said the man had been happily jerking it in the car, even as kids walked by, and when asked to stop by passersby, he "told them they were invading his privacy."
Toner, who says he lives out of his car, was booked for indecent exposure and released on a $2,000 bond. It was unclear from the reports whether he had gotten a Happy Meal.
