For the past few months, a 1500 pound cow has been running loose in upstate New York, and so far, it has evaded every single attempt at capture. This cow is a hero.

According to Atlas Obscura, the cow was first spotted back in June, hanging out at Moe’s Southwest Grill at 5am. As Moe’s opens at 11am and closes at 10pm, it’s unclear what exactly the cow was doing there at such an unseemly hour.

For their part, the local police departments of New Hartford and Utica (the two towns the cow seems to frequent) are at a loss. Lt. Steve Hauck of the Utica Police Department told WKTV that the department is, in not so many words, fucked (bolding ours):

We don’t have the ability to tranquilize this animal. One, we don’t have the training and there’s very specific regulations on who can carry those and how to use them, so we’re very limited at what we can do stop this animal.

We don’t have the ability to trap it, so what I would ask is that if there is someone out there that does have the ability to either trap this thing or transport it, or take it, please step forward because we’re very limited as to what we can do with this animal and we’re concerned about the safety of the public and certainly nobody wants to have to euthanize the cow, but we have to worry about people more than anything so unfortunately if it comes down to that we’re going to have very limited options.

A little over a week ago, New Hartford police set a trap called a headlock feeder. “As (the cow is) feeding on it, a spring-loading locking mechanism will trap the cow in the feeder by its head,” police Chief Michael Inserra told the Utica Observer-Dispatch. Once triggered, it would look a little something like this.

According to the Observer-Dispatch, a local farmer has agreed to “take” the cow if and when it gets trapped. At the time, Chief Inserra said that it could take several days for the cow to approach the the trap. But it has now been 12 sleeps since the trap was laid, and our fugitive farm animal is still roaming free.

A fact for which at least one local golf course is apparently paying the price.

According to the video, the cow has been “sampling the greens” and “forcing them to make repairs to their meticulous grounds.” Which, considering golf is little more than idle aristocratic amusement for the languid and lofty, makes it a public service. Good cow.

And yet, the cow continues to be terrorized. From WKTV:

“Whenever he gets scared out of one place, he runs in, he’s gone for a few days, then he starts showing up along the road again. So we’re waiting for the next citing...that’s why we want the cow in one spot. We want a routine. Get someplace, stay someplace, quit running this cow out so we can get someone to tranquilize the cow and get it out of there,” says Cusworth. She says bow hunters are inadvertently chasing him out of the woods and into populated areas.

There has, unfortunately, even been a “parody” Facebook page made for our heifer hero. According to one poster, this last true, free spirit amongst may soon be crushed.

Chief Inserra also said that “certainly the public safety factor is starting to be more of a factor at this point.”

But, we ask, what about the cow’s safety, Chief Inserra? What about the cow.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.