Spring is in the air! But hybrid parrot-pigeons like those featured on Gothamist this week are not. Neither are these horrible bikinis, or a machine that turns water into wine. What is in the air—and on the internet—is bullshit.

There is NOTHING more American than a Lean Cuisine-brand frozen dinner, which combines our national passions for junk food, fad diets, and sadness all in one easily microwaveable package. And now you ingrates are abandoning this proud legacy in droves.

In a stunt that was debatably art and definitely pop, someone threw up all over Lady Gaga during her set at SXSW Thursday night.

Left-wing British politician Tony Benn, a lord who rejected his title to take his seat in the House of Commons, died on Friday at age 88. Here he is on Margaret Thatcher's legacy.

Jeffrey Corzine, the son of former New Jersey Governor and ex-Goldman Sachs CEO Jon Corzine, reportedly killed himself in a Mexico City hotel earlier this week. He was 31.

Source told Reuters on Friday that the Malaysian military has radar data indicating that Flight 370 may have deliberately flown hundreds of miles off course, raising the possibility of sabotage or hijacking.

U.S. Secretary of State arrived in London on Friday to hold last-ditch talks with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov ahead of Sunday's proposed referendum in Crimea, which, if passed, would allow Russia to annex the region from Ukraine. Kerry hopes to delay the vote with threats of sanctions, though it's expected to take place as scheduled.

Target says it detected but declined to take immediate action against the massive theft of credit card and personal information of 110 million Target customers. "With the benefit of hindsight, we are investigating whether if different judgments had been made the outcome may have been different," a spokesman said.

A celebrity skin care specialist who once had a public feud with rapper Nicki Minaj over her waxing abilities was arrested last week after police discovered that she had allegedly tried to hire a former NFL player to murder a rival esthetician.

A Playboy model is suing the magazine after she was injured by a golf club during a nude photo shoot.

It's called whaling, and it's so stupid that it's actually pretty amusing.

The 21-year-old drunk driver who plowed his car into a group of South by Southwest revelers had been scheduled to perform a rap concert at the festival later that night.

"Sorry mate."

New York officials say an eighth body was pulled from the rubble today after a massive gas explosion brought down most of one building and part of another yesterday in Harlem.

Passengers were forced make an emergency evacuation off a US Airways flight tonight after the nose gear reportedly collapsed shortly after takeoff at Philadelphia International Airport.

Showtime has ordered a pilot of a new show called "Billions"—set in the world of hedge funds—created by legitimately hardworking journalist and Wall Street bootblack Andrew Ross Sorkin. I seriously bet Sorkin is so fucking rich by now. Fuck, man.

"It's Hell in Nigeria" is Mother Jones' assessment of gay life in Nigeria in the wake of the country's recent anti-gay law. It's all harrowing, though how it's affecting HIV treatment is particularly shameful. Read it.

Brandon Ambrosino is a young gay internet person who stirs up controversy everywhere he points his spoon. He tends to take a contrarian position on things that many LGBT individuals and their allies hold self-evident. You aren't a homophobe if you are against gay marriage (we need a new word, he says). People who called out Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson for saying the same vile things about gays that people have been saying since gay become a thing are the real bigots. Sit down, Ellen Page, you aren't so brave for coming out. Being gay is a choice. Jerry Falwell, founder of Ambrosino's Liberty U alma mater, was actually a good guy.

After a 40-year-old man was found by the side of the road with his penis severed and nowhere to be found, police shut down 4 lanes of traffic to search for the missing member.

Yesterday we brought you some of the qualitative data from the Urban Institute's report on the underground sex work economy. Today, we show you above what we think is an interesting comparison between the changing size of the market for sex, guns, and drugs in the eight U.S. cities the studies cover. Conclusion: the sex market is way bigger than the drug market!