Half of all Americans subscribe to a medical conspiracy theory, believing, for example that the government infected African-Americans with HIV and buried the link between vaccines and autism. What's your doctor hiding?

A Chinese businessman bought a Tibetan Mastiff puppy for $2 million this weekend, the most money anyone has ever spent on a dog.

Somehow it is possible to be caught for insider trading even if you chewed up and ate the Post-It Notes that you wrote down your illegal stock tips on. That's some CSI shit, man!

A couple decided to screw like no one was watching on St. Patrick's Day. Unfortunately, everyone was watching, because they were in a parking lot behind a Dunkin' Donuts during broad daylight.

I didn’t know what Belle Knox looked like, so when the Duke University freshman and adult film actress appeared at HeadQuarters Gentleman’s Club in New York City last night, a friend of mine had to point her out.

Sure, the mattress flying out of that pickup truck is what knocked the cyclist down in the first place, but this whole thing could have gone a lot worse.

Have a kid but want to see Shia LeBeouf's erection on a giant screen? No problem! New York's Landmark Sunshine theater invites to you bring your baby to its "Rattle & Reel" screening of Lars von Trier's instantly infamous (and surprisingly funny) Nymphomaniac Volume I next week. Don't miss this opportunity to show your baby how babies are made.

[An Iranian man plays with a firework in Tehran, Iran, on Tuesday, for Chaharshanbe Souri, an ancient Festival of Fire. On the eve of the last Wednesday of the Persian year, Iranians jump over burning bonfires and throw firecrackers to celebrate arrival of the spring. Image via Vahid Salemi)/AP.]

Say, Republicans: Have you heard of these "millennials"? Did you know they're hurting economically, and they vote? Well, of course you know they vote. You've tried for so long to make it harder, because they don't vote for you so much. But hey, there's another solution: Make stuff up!

Ed Houben, a single Dutch gentleman with a knack for getting ladies pregnant, has built his livelihood on just that. He's fathered 98 children since 2002, succeeding even in some cases where doctors have failed.

In celebration of its upcoming centennial, World War I killed two more people today.

Target is America's third-largest retailer. It is also as staunchly anti-union as they come. In 2011, we showed you the cheesy anti-union video all Target employees were shown. We now bring you the new cheesy anti-union video all Target employees must endure.

Courtesy of Instagrammers at the Mall of America, we now have a first look at How I Met Your Mother's Jason Segel as the late David Foster Wallace in The End of the Tour.

Hours after pro-Russian forces stormed Ukraine's naval headquarters and captured its commander, Ukrainian officials in Kiev announced that it would withdraw all military personnel from Crimea.

We have a trend, people. A horrible trend that must stop trending.

A Maine man woke up to find his house surrounded by state troopers after being reported for walking around with a gun earlier that morning. He did have a gun, but it was tattooed on his stomach.

"Request at ur local Gay Club!!!" says the YouTube description of Houston-based Fly Young Red's "Throw That Boy Pussy." As if you'd have to ask. Perhaps the lyrics of this destined-to-be-classic — "Roll that boy pussy / Yeah, you got me lookin' / Thinkin' 'bout fuckin' / Let me get a rubber" — are not clear enough to you and you, like Twitter user @_LipstickJunkie, wonder what Fly Young Red's inspiration for this song was. Fly Young Red's got you:

The Nybro Action Team consists of Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex Bejerstrand, two under-employed friends and former Nybro residents now living in northern Sweden. Hjalmar is a student and a chef; Alex helps run his father's talent agency. They will be recapping Season 3 of HBO's Girls.

The most addictive, dangerous new drug of 2014 is about to come back on the market. International kingpin Game developer Dong Nguyen has announced that his hit game Flappy Bird, which he took offline because it was literally ruining lives, will eventually return to the App Store.

Today the New York Observer officially relaunched its print edition, ditching its thin, pink newsprint for heavier, whiter stock. To commemorate the event, the Manhattan weekly gave open forum to wealthy New Yorkers who believe their new mayor, Bill de Blasio, has transformed the Upper East Side, home of Observer owner Jared Kushner, into a Marxist-Leninist communist state.