The U.S. Customs department spends several hundred million dollars on border security for our 2,000-mile border with Mexico. Congress may soon increase that amount by many billions of dollars. One thing we know for sure: we are gonna waste the hell out of that money.

Twitter is currently "looking into" reports that its service has been banned in Turkey. In the meantime, they've informed Turkish users of a work-around via SMS. This comes after prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan threatened earlier on Thursday to "wipe out" the social media network in the country.

God is love, right? It's sort of a cornerstone of the Christian faith: He "so loved the world" that He gave his son Jesus up to save us all. And if God is love, then a sociopath who pickets dead soldiers with a "God Hates Fags" sign can't really be Christian, right? Well, the answer is complicated.

Anthony Vincent kicks off his Ten Second Songs project with a cover of Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" in the styles of 20 famous performers, and it's way better than you're expecting.

In a case that launched a thousand Breaking Bad headlines, an IT teacher at a secondary school in Wales was sentenced to three-and-a-half years in prison after detectives discovered a sophisticated drug lab worth nearly $1.5 million in his house. He was caught with around $13,000 of cocaine at the time of his arrest.

[Visiting U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon shakes hands with President Vladimir Putin during a meeting in Moscow on Thursday. Image via Sergei Ilnitsky/AP.]

Russia responded to the new U.S. sanctions by issuing some sanctions of its own; nine U.S. officials, including Speaker John Boehner and Senator John McCain, are now banned from traveling to Russia. "I guess this means my spring break in Siberia is off," McCain said in a statement.

Robert Marcus took over as CEO of Time Warner Cable in January. Six weeks later, the company was sold to Comcast. When the deal goes through, Marcus will receive $80 million, "a severance payment that amounts to more than $1 million a day in compensation for the less than two months he ran the company." He earned it.

Is your watch broken? Do you need to get your watch fixed? Are you looking for a New York-based watch repair shop? You should probably skip Ron Gordon Watch Repair, because he's so bad at fixing watches, he's threatening frivolous, insane lawsuits against critics.

Police have reportedly reopened the investigation into Kurt Cobain's death, nearly twenty years after the Nirvana frontman was found dead in his Seattle home (UPDATE: The case was reexamined but not reopened).

Lux, the large Himalayan cat who became famous earlier this month when he chased his family into a bedroom and trapped them there until they called 911, is in trouble. His owners had a county shelter pick him up Monday, and are unsure whether they'll keep the cat.

There are a bunch of restaurants in the world, including some in New York City. But in a city of over 24,000 restaurants, how do you find the best? You begin your search in places that are already popular: New York's hottest tourist destinations. In the new feature The Best Restaurant in New York Is, writers Caity Weaver and Rich Juzwiak attempt to determine the best restaurant in New York.

EDM producer Skrillex gets a lot of shit because 1) his hair is dumb, 2) his music sounds like two mollyed-up bros getting into a fight while simultaneously weeping, and 3) his name is Skrillex.

Politico reporter Dylan Byers, of OBAMA ADMITS FABRICATING GIRLFRIEND IN MEMOIR fame, is mad at someone for baiting the Drudge Report into linking to dubiously sourced reports that portray President Obama in a negative light.

A 39-year-old woman died of a pulmonary embolism after injecting herself with Vaseline in a home breast augmentation gone wrong.

Dead former leader of the Westboro Baptist Church Fred Phelps doesn't only leave behind a Vine channel and a legacy of absurd hate — he also leaves behind a few generations of kids (many of them his relatives) to whom he imparted his specific brand of bigotry.

Are you a member of the "Planet Fitness" gym chain? If so, we regret to inform you that your gym must be doused in gasoline and set alight immediately. Why? One poor, fit woman's tale should explain.

Alec Baldwin said, "Now I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible," in his New York magazine cover story/temper tantrum last month. How fitting, then, that he guested as a shitty journalist/shittier person on last night's episode of Law & Order: SVU. Baldwin played Jimmy MacArthur, a self-obsessed journalist whose poor reporting fucked up the rape case central in the episode. It wasn't until he quit his job that his miserable character had any chance at happiness (see clip above).

The Russia-friendly Crimean Parliament recently made 33-year-old Natalya Poklonskaya the region's chief prosecutor, a position that vaulted her to internet fame this week. Because she's good at her job? Not quite. Because she's hot. At least according to Russian media:

[Brig. Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair, who admitted to inappropriate relationships with three subordinates, arrives at the courthouse with attorney Ellen Brotman for sentencing at Fort Bragg on Thursday. He was reprimanded and docked $20,000 in pay, avoiding jail time in one of the U.S. military's most closely watched courts-martial. Image via Ellen Ozier)/AP.]