A volunteer from an NGO called Malaysians For Malaysia gets ready to release balloons as a symbol of remembrance for the victims of flight MH370 at Titiwangsa Lake on Sunday in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Image via Rahman Roslan/Getty.

It's the story of a man. A man who went to war. And then went to college. And then decked a godless shithead professor. It's a feel-good story! And it went viral among God-fearing Murkans. And then Twitter got hold of it. And then it got really good.

The Florida driver caught on video getting "instant karma" when he crashed his truck right after tailgating a woman and flipping her the bird has now received regular-speed karma, too. He's been arrested.

A 22-year-old woman on probation for a drunk driving conviction thought she had fooled investigators when she passed a breathalyzer test after a night of drinking. She probably would have gotten away with it, too, if she hadn't bragged about it on Facebook.

Over the weekend, the Boston Globe published what it calls "the inside story" of MIT's role in the federal prosecution of Aaron Swartz. Title notwithstanding, it misses the real story here entirely: why exactly did the Department of Justice go after Swartz so aggressively?

Will your caramel-colored soda kill you with cancer? It might, if it's one of these brands.

Rolling coffee up into "caffeine sticks" and smoking it is a hot new trend, and it's turning America's teens into "bean-heads," according to one specious local news report.

Last night on Lindsay Lohan's reality show, Lindsay, the flailing actress shared her frustration over her reputation for being an unreliable brat. That reputation has led to a lack of employment (hence the reality show). Funny that, because she shared said frustration on the very show that she started flaking on (attempting to cancel shoots, etc.), necessitating a stern talking-to from Oprah Winfrey just last week. Will she ever learn?

So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?

"Imagine Detroit as a new municipality about to build a museum stocked and operated at taxpayer expense." Robert Frank explains rationally why Detroit should sell off its expensive fine art. (There are plenty of local artists they can put in that museum.)

Cadillac unveiled its first electric car last month. Apparently afraid that power-lunchers might think they'd gone soft, they rolled out the World's Douchiest Ad to tout the vehicle. Now, Ford has released a video response to Cadillac. That response, basically, is: "Don't be a douche."

A gas station worker knew the note he left for the manager after his overnight shift was going to get him fired, but he wrote it anyway.

The young adults of America have been sold a dream for their entire lives: go to the right school, get the right job, buy a house, and live the American Dream. Ha. The American Dream is dead, school is a debt trap, and young people are losing the economic race with the old.

A South Korean marine LVT-7 landing craft sails to shore through a smoke screen during the U.S.-South Korea joint landing exercise on Monday. North Korea has reportedly announced plans to conduct live-fire drills near the rivals' disputed western sea boundary. Image via Ahn Young-joon/AP.

Say you're a celebrity auction house that's sold William Shatner's kidney stone ($25,000), Marilyn Monroe's dog license ($4,800), and Michael Jackson's Thriller jacket ($1.8 million). There's only one way to top that, really: Sell a piece of David Hasselhoff. A reeeeally big piece:

In a lucrative scheme to exhume Michael Jackson's corpse and make it moonwalk one more time, Epic Records has announced that a posthumous MJ album entitled Xscape is due out May 13.

A judge in Delaware sentenced a millionaire du Pont heir to probation for raping his three-year-old daughter, in part because the judge did not think the heir would "fare well" in prison.

Second Amendment Man is stunned to learn that a concealed carry permit doesn't let him take his gun out and point it at people he's mad at, then hide it from the cops.

The time-honored combination of Mentos and Coke has been a staple of YouTube videos for almost as long as YouTube has existed. But just when you thought there was no more life to squeeze out of it, here comes an Italian magician with a condom and some Nutella to add a new dimension of WTF to the proceedings.

Today, frantic tabloid the New York Post has an op-ed by Nicole Gelinas boldly headlined "The city's suicide epidemic is a myth." Yes, hmm. Where might this myth have gotten started?