Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has released a statement regarding his decision to take leave from his position: "I know that I need professional help and I am now 100% committed to getting myself right."

A Dallas court is trying smooth things over after ordering a convicted rapist to volunteer 250 hours at a rape crisis center earlier this month.

The Supreme Court had to quietly correct Justice Antonin Scalia's scathing dissent in an environmental case yesterday after critics pointed out he made a glaring factual error.

Why did Toronto mayor Rob Ford announce tonight he was taking leave from his duties to get help? It probably had something to do with these images, which come from a video that a source was offering to sell us. The source said what's in the pipe was more crack cocaine.

Crack-and-alcohol aficionado and fun-time Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford says he is finally getting help for his substance abuse issues.

Al Feldstein, the long-time former editor of Mad Magazine who helped his usual gang of idiots develop pop culture mainstays like the "Spy vs. Spy" comic and the magazine's mascot, Alfred E. Neuman, died yesterday at his home. He was 88.

The results of the autopsy performed on Peaches Geldof will be announced tomorrow, but the The Times of London is reporting that the 25-year-old died of a heroin overdose.

Homeboy Sandman responds to some criticisms (particularly this piece by Kimberly Foster) of the essay he published on our site. "I'm also not sure why she keeps insinuating that I have nothing at stake. I'm an independent artist who's livelihood is predicated entirely on the hip hop community supporting me, who just released an article titled 'Black People Are Cowards.' Is that not risky enough for you?"

The dog who mauled a 4-year-old boy's face in February will not be destroyed, but will rather serve an unusual sentence for his crime, a Phoenix judge has ruled.

Brian Knappenberger's Kickstarter-funded documentary The Internet's Own Boy, the director's attempt to unite fractured accounts of the late Aaron Swartz as a person and an activist into a single narrative, just debuted at Sundance to positive reviews.

I have, on at least one prior occasion, said that I hoped to one day die in a giant vat of cookie dough. A terrible story out of Houston, in which a 26-year-old man was found dead inside a giant industrial-sized fortune cookie mixer on Sunday, makes me feel like I should take it back.

A Scientific American editor who went on Fox News and tried to discuss climate change today found the experience to be "not something that I wanted to be a part of in the future." The station also apparently tried to remove video of his appearance from its website, but thought better of it.

The high school senior accepted to all eight Ivy League universities has made The Decision. In a LeBron-like move, Kwasi Enin held a press conference at his Long Island high school to announce he's taking his talents to New Haven. Looks like Cleveland got robbed again.

Slate's Reihan Salam keeps imagineering a right wing worth defending: "If the Tea Party were to fight crony capitalism as hard as it fights wasteful spending, and if its members were to train their anger on the Wall Street-Washington axis...it would be the most constructive and powerful political force of our time."

There's a pro-gun bill awaiting a vote in the Florida Senate right now. What's it do? Well, if one saucy senator gets his way, the name will say it all: "An act relating to the zombie apocalypse."

Still confused why a doorstop economics text is the most talked-about book in the U.S.? A dog, Gawker's foremost columnist, returns this week with an in-depth review of French economist Thomas Piketty's sensational, revolutionary, much-discussed Capital in the Twenty-First Century. A dog maintains a Kinja blog at dog.gawker.com.

"Wow, you're super pretty. Wanna go on a date sometime?" said a man, walking around with no shirt on, to a woman, who was reporting live today from the site of a wildfire east of Los Angeles. All men must die.

Senate Republicans, who are active enemies of the poor, blocked a minimum wage increase today.

Yes: 22, to be exact. But now that the military dictatorship is "liberalizing," they're coming back, baby! Their de-facto leader is a young U.S.-educated entrepreneur named Sammy Samuels: