In a couple of hours many Americans will be processing their patriotic feelings in a globalized world through the lens of a game they only sometimes follow. Meanwhile, my own compatriots up North have been drunk on cheap beer since about noon. I think our approach might be better.

Looking back, it kinda reminds me of this '80s movie, The Gods Must Be Crazy, in which some dimwit inadvertently drops a Coca-Cola bottle from an airplane flying over a remote Indigenous African community.

"Gerry Adjmi," the young man recently seen in a viral video claiming that his father "owns half of Manhattan" and "owns the cops," is not who he said he was. He is, according to The Smoking Gun, an NYU student, New Jerseyite, possible humanitarian, and definite insufferable prick named Gerry Shalam.

A federal judge just struck down Kentucky's ban on gay marriage. The ruling, which is on hold pending an appeal, comes just six days after gay marriage bans in Utah and Indiana were ruled unconstitutional.

Jeremy Meeks, a ruggedly handsome former gangbanger, made the internet swoon with his mugshot after he was arrested for weapons possession last month. Everyone immediately made the same joke: "He should be a model. Not a criminal."

About two thirds into Justice Alito's opinion in Hobby Lobby came a paragraph that really stuck in my craw yesterday.

Team U.S.A. bandwagoner, we've traveled far and wide together. From the giraffe-free shores of Ghana to the sleazy nightclubs of Portugal and into the hellnest of Germany, where the U.S. Men's National Team skated by on a technicality for an advancement we didn't exactly earn. And now we're meeting with Belgium and I know what you're thinking: Who? What?

RiFF RAFF, the talented but bewildering court jester rapper whose debut album NEON iCON was released last week, will be doing a live chat today at 1 p.m. EST. Come and ask him about appropriation or his dog.

Although the rent on Manhattan apartments is far too expensive for you to afford, look on the bright side: the prospect of buying a Manhattan apartment is also a laughable dream that recedes ever farther from the realm of possibility (for you).

Every once in a while, when you ride the subway in New York City, you're treated to a free, spontaneous performance. Most times, it goes like this: A teenager yells "Showtime!", some boring dolts groan and stare at the floor, and an impossibly limber body starts flying.

Kendall Jones, a 19-year-old Texas Tech cheerleader and aspiring TV star, has a thing for trophy hunting in Africa. She's been making safari trips to Zimbabwe and South Africa since she was 13, and her Facebook page, where she posts pictures of herself with dead animals, has almost 18,000 likes. Animal rights activists are pissed.

Superrich entrepreneur Nick Hanauer argues for a $15 minimum wage, and writes "I have a message for my fellow filthy rich... Wake up, people. It won't last."

Three things rich kids are known to enjoy: Drinking, brunch, and telling everybody how successful their parents are. Meet Gerry, who appears to have hit the trifecta last Sunday near Madison Avenue, when he claimed his dad "owns half of fucking Manhattan."

Judge Judith Sheindlin on her worst day is smarter than you on your best, but even so she apparently had never heard of Grindr before a Judge Judy case involving two men who had met on the app that aired yesterday. And even though Sheindlin wears her luddite status as proudly as that doily around her neck, she cut right through the bullshit and sussed out what men actually use it for.

Lanky Aryan Ann Coulter was on TV yesterday smiling gleefully about the fact that her recent column on soccer being a dumb, un-American sport provoked a tidal wave of outraged responses in the media. Her glee is perfectly justified.

Clam the psychic clam, who has accurately predicted every U.S. victory in the 2014 World Cup, has reached deep into the psychic aether and emerged with a prophecy: The United States will beat Belgium in today's knockout World Cup game.

"About 15 minutes ago, I got a phone call from Utah animal control, calling to tell me that an officer had shot and killed my dog," Sean Kendall says at the beginning of the video above. "He was inside the backyard in a fenced off area."

Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy was detained by anti-corruption police for questioning on Tuesday. The investigators are attempting to determine whether or not he used a magistrate as an informant during judicial proceedings against him.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that closely held corporations don't need to provide contraceptive coverage for employees under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Many people were upset about this ruling, and some tweeted their angry responses at SCOTUSblog, a blog that covers the high court.

Yesterday, a federal judge handed down an acquittal on the highest charge against Gilberto Valle, the NYPD officer who was convicted last year for a plot to kidnap, rape, kill, and chow down on several women.