We periodically publish letters from inmates on death row. Today, we bring you a message from convicted murderer Pete Russell, who has been on death row in Texas for the past 11 years.

This promotional video for a U.K. club night called "Bounce by the Ounce" was reviewed by Vice as the worst of all time (and can you imagine how many "shite" and "fucking atrocious" club promos have graced Vice's inbox over the years?) But they are incorrect. This video is actually the best, thanks to one man.

In a word: yes. In seven words: Tim Gunn says, "Turn down for what." So does Heidi Klum. "Make it work," Gunn's talking-bobblehead saying, gets sliced and diced to the fauxlectro trap beat of "Turn Down for What," while Klum does rappy and Illuminati things with her hands, and it all feels not just like Project Runway has jumped the shark, but that all of pop culture has. Remember when the Pillsbury Doughboy rapped? This is worse times EDM. We're all going to hell, and it's going to look a lot like the Electric Daisy Carnival. Mark my words.

Germany's 7-1 defeat of Brazil in last night's World Cup semifinal match was so brutal, so extreme, that viewers couldn't resist comparing it to two things: the Holocaust (classy!) and humiliating public sex.

A man visiting his incarcerated son at the Cook County Jail in Chicago on Saturday was accidentally trapped inside the maximum security prison for 31 hours after a door locked behind him as he entered a visiting room.

A new Senate study estimates that 40 percent of four-year colleges in the U.S. have not investigated a single allegation of sexual assault in the past five years. So clearly there are no "sexual assaults," properly understood! What's the problem?

Ray Nagin, the former Democratic Mayor of New Orleans, was sentenced to 10 years in federal prison Wednesday for corruption. In February, Nagin was found guilty on 20 counts of bribery and fraud, which included money laundering, conspiracy, tax evasion, and wire fraud. He initially faced 20 years in prison.

"I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body." - Kesha on the eating disorder that led to a two-month stint in rehab, in an essay she wrote for Elle U.K.

Update: DC Entertainment has reversed its earlier decision, and will now allow Superman's shield to appear on a memorial statue of murdered 5-year-old Jeffrey Baldwin, the Toronto Star reports. The original story is below.

The use of poppers has been linked to vision loss (in some cases irreversible), according to a report from the U.K. Poppers maculopathy seemingly has become more common in recent years, as isobutyl nitrate was banned in Europe, and isopropyl nitrate is now most commonly used in its place. Lights out, now the party's over. :(

It appears that Rob Ford's time in rehab wasn't as rosy as his recent mea culpa-cum-campaign speech would have you think. Patients and staff at GreeneStone told the Toronto Star the mayor was "disruptive" during his time there, and management was worried he may have been continuing to use drugs or alcohol.

Tiny houses: everyone loves them. We the media cannot stop writing about them.They're even getting their own reality show. Are tiny houses the future of American housing? Absolutely not. Not at all!

Joan Rivers was on last night's Late Show with David Letterman, because The Great Joan Rivers Moment-Having of 2014 is not yet over. Letterman challenged her with questions that in other circumstances she might deem "negative," but she answered his with humor and whatever the Rivers equivalent of grace is, as she already has a punching bag in the form of CNN's Fredericka Whitfield, whom she now infamously jilted during a recent interview.

Cops and prosecutors in Manassas City, Va. have gone insane trying to prosecute a 17-year-old boy for sexting his 15-year-old girlfriend. According to a report from The Washington Post, they want to force the boy to become erect, take photos of his penis, and compare those photos to his original sexts.

The tiny universe of Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos just got a little bit bigger. Turns out those hamsters are friends with a hedgehog (also tiny) who just had a birthday. Tiny cake for tiny everyone!

Chris McDaniel, who narrowly lost Mississippi's GOP Senate primary to incumbent Thad Cochran last week, told a crowd Saturday that his loss was "clearly the most unethical election in the history of this state" and also "the most illegal," apparently forgetting that Mississippi also existed from 1866 to 1965.

The guy on the ground in the Associated Press photo above is Bill Hillman, 35, of Chicago, who for more than a decade has run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, and just last month helped write the book on how to survive the ritual. Yesterday, the bull won. But it's not as bad as it looks!

A college student named Nyjah, who goes by @dearfashionn on Twitter, became an overnight internet celebrity when she inadvertently texted a nude photo to her dad instead of her dude. Disclaimer: It's not that tough to stage iPhone screenshots, so this could be a hoax. But if it's not, poor Nyjah is living a 21st-century waking nightmare.

A new report from The Intercept shows that the NSA and FBI specifically targeted five prominent Muslim-Americans for surveillance, including a former Bush administration official. Glenn Greenwald hinted that a big scoop was on the way last week, but delayed its publication pending new reporting.