Stephen Colbert will not break character on The Colbert Report—not even for James Franco—but he will do it to give solid fatherly advice to teenage girls.

When you ask Americans what they look for in a tasty piece of USDA-certified chicken, they say, "Less government inspection of this chicken before I eat it." Today, the government has heard your voice, America.

Uganda's so-called "jail the gays" bill, which President Yoweri Museveni signed in February and imposed seven years in jail for "the offense of homosexuality" (gay sex) and lifetime in jail for "aggravated homosexuality," is no more. This does not mark shifting attitudes in the country that has become notorious for its harsh treatment of its LGBT citizens. Rather, on Friday, a court invalidated it on a technicality: it was passed during a parliamentary session that lacked a quorum.

The LAPD is searching for a shotgun that fell off a police motorcycle yesterday. If you find it, just pick it up, approach the nearest LAPD officer, and see how that goes.

When did Reese Witherspoon become America's sweetheart? Was it when the nation flocked to see her starring turn in Legally Blonde, a few months before 9/11? Was it when she accepted the Oscar from pretend Ray Charles for being the best pretend June Carter Cash anyone could ever remember, in March of 2006?

Less than two hours after it began, the cease-fire between Hamas and Israel collapsed, resulting in the deaths ofat least50 Palestinians and two Israeli soldiers. Hamas militants also reportedly captured an Israeli soldier, though it's unclear if the abduction took place before or after the truce's start.

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An Indian man carries a girl across a waterlogged street in Mumbai on Thursday. Heavy rains in the city have caused train delays and wreaked havoc on traffic. Photo by Rajanish Kakade via AP.

A Nebraska man is now in jail for 108 days after being sentenced Tuesday for a DUI and livestock neglect after being pulled over for driving drunk with 100 chickens in his SUV.

A gas leak in the southern city of Kaoshiung in Taiwan triggered explosions that have killed at least least 22 people and injured as many as 270 people.

Ronald Avers, a 68-year old man from Belleville, Ill., is charged with allegedly placing sewing needles in packaged meat products for over a year at a local Shop'n'Save.

A Chicago executive is dead today after critically injuring his boss and then killing himself following a recent demotion.

One of the two Americans infected with ebola is set to return to the United States. As reported by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Emory University Hospital in Atlanta will receive the patient for treatment in the next couple of days.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and U.S Secretary Of State John Kerry announced in a joint statement today an unconditional, 72-hour humanitarian cease-fire between Israel and Hamas that will begin Friday at 8 a.m. local time.

A Miami Beach cop, fired last year when his random drug test came back positive for cocaine, has been reinstated. He claimed he'd never done coke, and the test result had been caused by a cream he rubbed on his genitals.

First, you have to learn to type with one hand. Ha! Ha!

A new government report on the persistence of the implied "Too Big to Fail" guarantee for major banks finds that the advantage for those banks has declined since the recession, but TBTF still exists, which is why we should still break up the biggest banks, so they can fail in peace.

Another classic episode of the best show on television, PBS' Sex in the Wild, aired last night. This one focused on kangaroos, whose engorged S-shaped penises look like earthworms. If I were a girl (or gay boy) kangaroo, I would take one look at one of those Cronenbergian appendages and say, "Crikey!"

On a flight from Enfindha, Tunisia to Edinburgh, Scotland last night, a drunk woman, apparently angry that flight crew members wouldn't give her cigarettes and/or a parachute, allegedly took off her prosthetic leg and attacked flight attendants with it.

Aimee Richardson, who played Joffrey's sister Myrcella Baratheon on Game of Thrones, hasn't been seen on the show since late season 2. Myrcella is about to return as part of a major plotline in season 5, but Richardson won't be back. She's been recast, losing the role to Nell Tiger Free.