Terrifying news out of Oklahoma: state legislators there passed a bill today that would make performing an abortion a felony punishable by up to three years in prison. Republican Governor Mary Fallin, who is generally anti-abortion, has not publicly stated whether she plans to sign the bill.

This afternoon, in a scene plucked from one of my work-related anxiety dreams, New York Times reporters Nick Corasaniti, Maggie Haberman, and Thomas Kaplan pitched stories to politics editor Carolyn Ryan on Facebook Live while thousands of people watched it happen.

You might remember Sigma Alpha Epsilon from when the fraternity’s Oklahoma chapter was kicked off campus last year after several of its members were filmed singing a racist song. Although the chapter learned the song on a national leadership cruise, SAE’s directors insisted at the time that there was no endemic racism within their organization, which was founded in the 1800's by Confederate soldiers. News out of the University of Wisconsin’s flagship campus in Madison once again calls that assertion into question.

While elitist urban bloggers fret over what the “online gig economy” will do our nation’s future, most American’s don’t even know what the fuck “Uber” means.

For years, “brands” have been paying “ordinary” “people” to “mention” their products in meaningless, easily ignored social media posts. This is called “influencer marketing,” and it’s collapsing. Fantastic, because it was a bullshit enterprise to begin with.

Although investigators are still piecing together the sequence of events that led to the sudden disappearance of EgyptAir Flight 804 last Wednesday night, officials from several nations are in agreement on one key fact: It was probably terrorists.

When he was running for re-election to his Arizona U.S. Senate seat in 2010, John McCain appeared in the ridiculous video above, an anti-immigrant campaign ad whose solemn punchline was, “Complete the danged fence.” Now that it’s no longer considered politically acceptable to hate Mexican people unless your name is Donald Trump, McCain isn’t so proud of the spot anymore.

On Wednesday, police arrested more than a dozen people who were allegedly selling tourists fake tickets for ferry rides to the Statue of Liberty. The ferries, police said, never actually stopped at the Statue of Liberty, but rather circled New York Harbor before docking again.

It’s clear now that “Jackie”—the girl at the center of the now-retracted Rolling Stone UVA fraternity rape story—lied about most, if not all, of the alleged attack. Newly released documents in an ongoing lawsuit against the magazine show how she initially pulled it off.

Welcome to Idiots of Yesteryear, a new series wherein we’ll remember the klutzes, cretins, and bumbling dunderheads who populate the cobwebbed dunce’s corners of the American past. In this great nation, for every gallant General Washington, who could not tell a lie, there is a doofy George W. Bush, who could not finish chewing a pretzel before trying to swallow it. Here, we will celebrate the blowhards, the two-timers, and the wretched scamps; we will honor the feckless morons and malevolent jerks who made our great nation in their images. Forgotten morons of history, we salute you.

New Census figures show that U.S. urban growth is slowing, “as a bulge of late-20s Americans reaches prime homebuying age and high urban real-estate costs are making suburbs and exurbs more attractive.” Good!!

The New York Times Magazine has a story this week on the political operation behind Donald Trump’s rise to power. Of particular note is the introduction of Paul Manafort, a mean motherfucker who has whipped everyone into shape—including the rock star vaping congressman, Duncan Hunter:

On Monday, at a meeting of the local Republican Party in the third-most-populous county in the United States, a Christian pastor who serves as chaplain for the Harris County GOP tried to stop a Muslim man from serving as a precinct chair because of his religion. “Islam does not have any basis or any foundation,” the pastor, Trebor Gordon, said. “It is the total opposite of our foundation.”

Yesterday, America got a look at the new overtime rule, which will make millions of people who make less than $47,500 a year eligible for overtime pay. You may be wondering: who, exactly, is responsible for making sure I get paid for all my newfound overtime?

Not to be outdone by a plane crash and 66 possible dead bodies, Donald Trump has found a way to insert himself into the EgyptAir news cycle, speculating that the plane was brought down by “yet another terrorist attack.”

One of Donald Trump’s surrogates this week gave a new reason for why the candidate seems so confident he can get Mexico to pay for a wall: There isn’t really going to be a wall.

An EgyptAir passenger jet carrying 66 people from Paris to Cairo disappeared over the Aeagen Sea, in Egyptian airspace, early Thursday morning. President François Hollande confirmed that the plane had crashed. Paris prosecutors have reportedly opened an investigation.

EgyptAir has confirmed that Flight MS804, carrying at least 56 passengers and 10 crew members from Paris to Cairo, has disappeared.

During an otherwise routine tour promoting the new federal overtime rule, Joe Biden made an audacious claim on Wednesday while visiting an Ohio ice cream company.