God Damnit, Someone Is Making a Keurig Machine for Weed

Andy Cush · 05/23/16 02:40PM

Alongside the pleasantly mellow way we’re feeling about the spread of legalized pot, there is a dark undercurrent of paranoia. When getting high is no longer a crime, will it stop being so much fun? Will bald guys in khakis start loudly discussing their favorite sativa blends while in line at the supermarket? Will smarmy weed VCs and entrepreneurs try to “disrupt” the market of novelty bongs and cigarette-shaped one-hitters with some technology nobody asked for? Will someone invent a goddamned Keurig machine for smoking pot?

Bill O’Reilly Plans to Sue Ex-Wife for $10 Million, Accuses Her of Cheating

J.K. Trotter · 05/23/16 02:20PM

Bill O’Reilly’s legal battle against his ex-wife Maureen McPhilmy appeared to be over earlier this year when a panel of three appellate justices unanimously granted McPhilmy residential custody of the ex-couple’s two children. According to court documents filed late last month, however, O’Reilly intends to sue McPhilmy for $10 million on charges of misleading him about the terms of their separation agreement. In the same papers, the Fox News host accuses McPhilmy of using the proceeds of their separation to underwrite an affair with another man. And he wants the entire lawsuit to proceed in secret.

Obama Has Handle on Work-Life Balance 

Gabrielle Bluestone · 05/23/16 01:40PM

Today the White House posted on Instagram a photo of President Obama and Anthony Bourdain having a very chill time in the “steamy capital” of Vietnam, where Obama is publicly courting a low-key alliance with the country right in China’s face and a low-key friendship with Bourdain right in mine.

"Don't Stay in School, Kids" 

Hamilton Nolan · 05/23/16 01:20PM

American universities spend half a trillion dollars a year. Very little of that money goes to the people who do a huge part of the teaching: the adjunct professors, academia’s hidden underclass. They are telling us their stories. They’re not pretty.

Global Warming Exists Only On a Small Slice of Beachfront Property in Ireland Owned By Donald Trump

Jordan Sargent · 05/23/16 12:40PM

For all the ways in which Donald Trump supposedly represents the destruction of the Republican party, the presumptive presidential nominee has toed the line on global warming, deeming himself a nonbeliever even as he’s drifted away from the most hardcore anti-climate change rhetoric. Perhaps unsurprisingly, that all changes when the future of one of his businesses is at stake.

Cop Has Problem

Marina Galperina · 05/23/16 11:30AM

A decorated NYPD officer, who beat up a woman in 2014 while “sleepwalking” in his underwear, was charged with a DWI after the vehicle he was driving crashed into three parked cars and rolled over early Sunday morning. The officer suffered minor injuries and was arraigned last night and released on his own recognizance.

The Great Fortune of Capturing Anthony Weiner's Misfortune: Weiner

Rich Juzwiak · 05/23/16 11:10AM

An extraordinary thing fell into the laps of filmmakers Josh Kriegman and Elyse Steinberg as they documented Anthony Weiner’s 2013 bid for New York City mayor: Weiner’s dick. For about six weeks, Kriegman and Steinberg filmed Weiner’s promising attempt at public redemption after his 2011 sexting scandal caused him to resign from Congress—and then a second wave of sexting allegations emerged.

The Era of Bank Branches on Every Corner Is Ending

Hamilton Nolan · 05/23/16 10:50AM

Right now, 94% of U.S. commercial districts are composed of bank branches. (The other 6% are takeout salad lunch places.) The good news is that we may have already witnessed the peak of the “bazillions of banks, everywhere you look” era.