In an appearance at the New Yorker Festival on Saturday, Larry David responded to Jennifer Lawrence's declarations of love from this month's issue of Vanity Fair.

Broadcasting live from a newly-opened shopping center, Las Vegas news station KLAS unwittingly captured one boy's impromptu dance recital Thursday night—and let it be said, little dude can work.

The Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit reports 21-month-old Madeline Reid has died of the rare respiratory virus that, in the past two months, has infected hundreds of children across the country.

Sometimes you fuck the bear and sometimes, well, the bear fucks you. A British man recently experienced both kinds of bear-buggery when semen he left in a teddy bear connected him to an unsolved crime.

A 24-year-old man was arrested Saturday on charges of starting a wildfire that destroyed 157 homes in the Northern California lumber town of Weed.

Bill Hader returned to Saturday Night Live as host last night, which, of course, means Stefon returned to the Weekend Update desk. Check out his New New York advice for tourists, people wanting something upscale, and dumb folks looking to just get murdered.

According to officials, a worker at the Texas hospital that cared for the United States' first Ebola patient has tested positive for the disease.

Openly gay congressional candidate Carl DeMaio has been called "a new kind of Republican" by members of his party, but allegations leveled against the former San Diego councilman on Friday were all too familiar.

A couple in Georgia was arrested and charged with cruelty to children in the first degree after allegedly giving their two-year-old son a mixed drink made of Coke and 40 proof Paul Masson Brandy.

At about 6 p.m. Friday night, a mysterious figure emerged—Whac-A-Mole-style—from sidewalk grate on Sixth Avenue and threw two road flares into chic Village eatery Da Silvano. The burning flares immediately filled the restaurant's outdoor seating area with smoke, surprising diners that included Rose McGowan.

Two men have been arrested and charged with attempted murder after shooting a man who had just been released from prison after completing a 15-year sentence. According to the New York Post, the victim was the subject of a 15-year-long grudge.

According to documents published yesterday by investigative news site MuckRock, the NYPD has paid almost half a billion dollars in settlements in the last five years.

On Oct. 2, three unidentified men attacked and killed 47-year-old Aniya Parker in East Hollywood, shooting her once in the head at point-blank range. Now authorities are offering a $50,000 reward for information on the transgender woman's murder, the L.A. Times reports.

In a story perfect to tell with a "spooky" voice when things get quiet at your next social gathering, a grieving Alaskan couple about to inform their son's girlfriend of his death was shocked this week when their "dead" son answered the door. Ahh!

In any other of the 49 states, a football fan might express his admiration for the game with a bumper sticker, a custom jersey or—at the very most—a festively painted beer belly. But in Florida, the home of nude beach blow job jet ski fights, nothing less than a psycho full head tattoo will do, like the one seen here on St. Petersburg's Victor Thompson.

New York City's John F. Kennedy International Airport is the first in the U.S. to start screening passengers for Ebola symptoms. The AP reports starting today, travelers coming from three West African countries will have their temperatures checked as part of an enhanced Ebola screening program.

(For Mike Brown, Lennon Lacy, Eric Garner, Renisha McBride, and so on, and so on ...)

After a week of erratic, troubling behavior, Amanda Bynes has reportedly been placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold at a California hospital. According to People, the actress was admitted for treatment shortly after landing at LAX Friday afternoon.

Seven students at New Jersey's Sayreville War Memorial High School have been charged with sex crimes in an investigation into the high school football team's hazing.

In 2012, Faye Grant, the second wife of 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins, sent an email to a woman who had been allegedly molested by Collins when she was a child. In that email, a copy of which has been obtained by Gawker, Grant identifies their then-12-year-old babysitter as another victim of abuse.