The Hills' old resident bad gal Kristin Cavallari married Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler last year. Given this arrangement, she now gets shit on Twitter every time Cutler performs poorly on the field. But Kristin is particularly offended when women—especially mothers—harass her.

"Hey, that's a pretty handsome photo of Karl Myers," you're probably saying to yourself right about now. "Wait a minute, is that popular and easygoing comedic actor Paul Rudd in some sort of long-but-not-exactly flowing wig?"

Cool Pope "Francis," the pope that even atheists and commies can mistakenly like, went to Europe yesterday and dissed the hell out of it. Cool Pope Francis is the last true battle rapper.

If you're old and no longer in touch with your high school buddies, there's one obvious problem with coming home for the holidays: You don't know where to buy drugs anymore. Fear not. We can get through this, together.

Jennifer Aniston, delightful secret genius, is promoting Horrible Bosses 2 at the same time that Lisa Kudrow is making her comeback in The Comeback. Jimmy Kimmel spotted a chance to get the two Friends back together (again) and have them sling the foulest curse words they could think of.

Elizabeth Warren opposes President Obama's nomination of a career Wall Street banker as new under secretary of the Treasury. Who in the media is brave enough to take up the cause of defending this humble banker from the misguided populists?

A 17-year-old Florida girl was arrested Friday for human trafficking after the Venice police department began investigating a high school prostitution ring organized on Facebook. The girl arranged at least one act of prostitution that involved a 15-year-old girl and a 21-year-old man, according to cops.

Someone decided to introduce dogs to the depraved human pastime of competitive eating, and naturally, they're very good at it. (Have you met dogs? They've been practicing for this their whole lives.)

Richard Cohen is a dotty old racist newspaper columnist with the Washington Post and one of the worst professional opinion writers in America. More importantly: he's a man. A real man.

At a show last night in St. Louis, Mo., rapper Killer Mike, who is on tour with El-P to promote their second Run the Jewels mixtape, took to the microphone to speak openly and heartbreakingly about the Ferguson verdict from last night.

People kept posting this Vine in the comments on posts about the grand jury's decision not to charge Darren Wilson in shooting of Michael Brown, because it seemed to them, on a horrible night in America, that it makes a sad and important point. And it does.

After a grand jury moved not to indict Ferguson, Mo. police officer Darren Wilson for the Aug. 9 shooting and killing of 18-year-old Michael Brown, protests erupted into chaos in the town. Dozens of buildings were reportedly set ablaze, with heavy gunfire sounding through the streets late into the night.

"Everybody wants me to be calm. Do they know how those bullets hit my son? What they did to his body as they entered his body?"

Darren Wilson described shooting 18-year-old Michael Brown at least twice—first in an August police interview and again before a grand jury in September. But until today, only those involved in the case knew Wilson's version of the minute-long encounter that ended with Brown dead in the street.

One sage protestor said what every CNN viewer was thinking when he interrupted Don Lemon's disastrous coverage in Ferguson earlier tonight to shout, "Fuck CNN" live on air.

St. Louis Public Radio is uploading, section by section, all the grand jury evidence released to the public by St. Louis County Prosecutor Robert McCulloch—including testimony, forensic evidence, medical reports, and witness interviews.

Just before 11 pm, a man wearing a Guy Fawkes mask confronted Fox News' Steve Harrigan and his crew live on-air in Ferguson. As the hosts in Fox News' studio asked about the masked man, he looked into the camera; moments later the feed cuts out. "That camera got knocked out," a studio producer can be heard saying in the background.

Tonight, the St. Louis County attorney's office released all of the evidence presented before the grand jury, which decided not to charge Darren Wilson for the death of Mike Brown. Among that evidence are the first photos that show the injuries Wilson allegedly sustained during the confrontation.

A succinct moment of fury in Ferguson from a young woman named Angel, who reports that she watched a woman have a heart attack and then get teargassed: "We tired of this. And y'all shoulda seen this coming. Y'all shoulda seen it coming. Now it's here. United States, stand up with us."

On Monday, a grand jury decided Darren Wilson won't face any criminal charges over the death of 18-year-old Michael Brown. As citizens began expressing outrage, President Obama offered a limp address from the White House that helped no one.