On this election day, the cold-blooded monsters like us whose business is our nation's flow of public information are thinking not about political hope, but about hope for continued high ratings; not about political change, but about people changing the channels. (Speechwriter-ly!). What it comes down to is this: once this election's over, will the public still care about all these media outlets who've been living it up thanks to public interest in politics? Let's round up the media's nervous take on the media's future!

Hope you weren't too excited about those rumors of an Apple store opening on West 34th Street. It's no longer in the works. Despite the fact that Apple has been paying $5.9 million in rent for the space since 2006, Apple chief Steve Jobs has apparently decided that the location across from the Empire State building is a little too low-class: "One source said he looked at a run-down building across the street and said, 'This is not for Apple.'" [NYP]

After last night's Gossip Girl, you no doubt have a lot of questions. Is staging a guerrilla fashion show at a Philanthropic Ball enough to get you on Page Six? Should you seduce a 15 year old if you're a senior in high school? Is your overhead a lot cheaper if your daughter goes runaway and you lose her as a dependent? In our recap we answer what we can and leave the rest to the IRS.So many questions, so many revolting come-ons from Brooklyn-based hipsters... Should I go ahead and write that damning story about my friend's Dad? There's no time like the present for Dan Humphrey, whose budding career as the sexy Michael Wolff took a turn this week. Dan is tired of trailing in his sister Jenny's tiny footsteps, and he went forward with his story on Chuck Bass last night. You have to admire the way Jenny took her shot at the top by crashing the Philanthropic Ball with the fashion show to end all fashion shows (see video), although some of the credit has to go to her Lohan-style friend Agnes and the men who are in love with her. Now that Jenny's on the road, her insane father won't be able to block the licensing and sale of her sex tape. Meanwhile, her brother can truly learn much from his younger sister. If there's a story, Dan, you break it, and if there's statutory rape in the offing, report it to the authorities.

Jessica Alba in Soho pushing baby Honor ... Kate Winslet hailing a cab in the meatpacking district ... Robin Williams arriving at his hotel on Central Park South ... Blake Lively and Penn Badgley getting in a car after eating brunch in the West Village ... Ryan Reynolds walking by himself ... Kim Raver taking a lunch break on the set of Lipstick Jungle ... Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, and daughter Violet shopping for toys, and later getting in an SUV outside Matt Damon's apartment on Lafayette Street ... Paris Hilton, Ricky Gervais, and Elvis Costello posing in front of Letterman ... Keira Knightley on the set of her new movie in the meatpacking district ... country singer Clint Black leaving his hotel ... and Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, and baby Alexander going for a walk.

Remember David Pajcin, the Goldman Sachs analyst who conspired with a bunch of other bankers (as well as workers at a BusinessWeek printing plant) to carry out an insider trading scheme that earned him $6.7 million? He appears to have fled the country! [Bloomberg]

Burnout: it happens to the best (and the worst!) of bloggers. Everyone's susceptible—even professional unpaid societyblogger-heiresses like Fifth Avenue Misfit Emily Brill. Her blog was down for like, days! (Everyone has those George Constanza moments where they storm out of work in a huff, only to return the next day pretending like they didn't quit.) We eulogized her and asked her to come back over the weekend, but only for our own snarky, selfish purposes. Now, the Brill is back, bitches ("I took things down for a bit of the timeout"), and she's ready to continue serving as our Ultimate Narrator:

If you haven't voted yet and you're wondering if you're going to have to wait for hours, there's good news: the crowds appear to have subsided at some polling stations around town. Unfortunately, that's not the case at some of the busiest spots, as you'll see in this clip from NY1. And if you do ending up cooling your heels for an hour, just remember that it could always be worse: At least you didn't get into an argument with election officials like Tim Robbins and almost get arrested!

Corporate America is blundering around like a particularly drunk blind man in search of some marketing tactic that will grab the hearts and minds of the public during this nightmarish, never-ending economic turmoil. And now they think they may have found it: comforting images that remind you that, hey, friends, family, and a happy home are what's really important now, not material things. (**EXCEPT FOR OUR COMPANY'S PRODUCT, THX): Companies are bringing back their old classic jingles to remind you of a happier time, before mortgage payments and credit card debt and your whore wife sleeping with the fella who came to repair your A/C. "I am stuck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid's stuck on me!" "I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid." Poignant. Even IKEA is encouraging happy homes:

Everybody's in line to vote right now, and cellphone cams are sure to make this one of the most citizen-documented voting days in history. In line at 71st Street polling station in Manhattan, it's the cutest Irish-American voter ever—late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien. (Photo courtesy of commenter Clarence Rosario.)

When Diddy promoted "Vote or Die" in 2004, there were rumors that he didn't even bother to go to the polls himself. Guess there won't be a question this time around: He posed for photographers outside his local polling station in Midtown this morning. Click through for photos of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, and Bill Clinton performing their civic duty.

According to Drudge, Barack Obama and his wife Michelle have taken "more than 15 minutes to vote." Maybe they're undecided? His link goes nowhere. Ben Smith doesn't report anything about how long it took Barack Obama to vote. Meanwhile: "HILLARY POLITICKING INSIDE NY POLLING AREA, ADVOCATES FOR OBAMA, 5 FEET FROM BOOTHS... DEVELOPING..." Once again, no link! But this is really a "fuck you, too late to not vote for me" move by the Obamas. Look who else voted at their polling place:

Keith McNally isn't selling out—not yet, at least. The restaurateur behind Balthazar, Pastis, and Morandi tells Vanity Fair he's "resisting" a $100 million offer from British dining tycoon Richard Caring to take his New York-based restaurant empire global, mainly because he's worried duplicating his eateries would be like "ripping the soul out of the original." [Page Six]

Headline: "Andover man shot with crossbow, beaten with bat, run over, burned." Subhead: "Gruesome details and accusations of embezzlement are laid out as two siblings are charged with killing their brother. Also charged was the girlfriend of one of the siblings." Opening scene:

[Skinny little Victoria Beckham, apparently posing as an air marshal, makes her way through an airport yesterday. Pic via X17]

Today is election day, and the patriots among you should all be standing in long, demoralizing lines at polling centers right now, rather than reading tawdry celebrity gossip. But we're here to serve you, much like the Republican party. Yesterday you guessed that the starlet who couldn't stand her fake boyfriend was Blake Lively, and the socialite's sister banging an OJ witness was maybe one of the Kardashians. Only Jesus knows for sure! Today, an action hero actor's secret man-date for Halloween, a celebrity couple in trouble, and Borat be banging beau coup broads: 1) "Our B list actor who used to be an A list action hero was at a party with someone everyone assumed to be his girlfriend. His girlfriend is somewhat, but not overly famous, but this person was wearing a Sue Storm from Fantastic Four mask so no one could tell. Throughout the night the pair spent more and more time groping and kissing in a corner and on a couch and less time mingling. It was during one of these makeout groping sessions later in the evening that the mask slipped off the woman and it was discovered our action star was with another guy." [CDaN] 2) "Which presenter has requested a lock on his dressing room door so that runners stop walking in on him having sexy time with a string of ladies..." [Mirror] 3) "They have been together for several years, and enjoy the prestige and perks that come from being part of a famous couple. The only problem is that they can’t stand each other. They essentially lead separate lives, but are photographed together at red carpet events to allay suspicions, and to allow each of them to continue to command top dollar for their respective projects. However, she doesn’t know that he is sleeping with one of her closest friends." [Blind Gossip]

So Starbucks announced a few days ago that it would give away free coffee today to anyone who voted. It turns out that doing so constitutes a felony under election law in many states: Apparently, it's illegal to offer a gift to someone to induce them to vote. So the coffee at Starbucks is now free for everyone today, not just those who assure the barista they waited an hour on line at the polls this morning. If you want to finish off your coffee with some ice cream, Ben & Jerry's is giving away free scoops between 5pm and 8pm.

♦ Bella Sapir, the ex-wife of billionaire Tamir Sapir (pictured with the couple's son, Alex), paid $8.895 million for a penthouse apartment at the Veneto at 250 East 53rd Street. [Cityfile]
♦ Andrew Madoff, managing director of Madoff Investment Securities, paid $4.38 million for a five-bedroom spread at 433 East 74th Street. [Cityfile]
♦ Rumi Contractor, a senior exec at HSBC, picked up a two-bedroom pied-à-terre at 14 East 33rd Street for $1.67 million. [Cityfile]

This is going to be the saddest holiday season ever! Not because so many people have been laid off in recent months, real estate values have plummeted, and stock portfolios are underwater. Even those who still have jobs can no longer look forward to one of the few remaining perks in corporate America—the holiday party with a neverending supply of free food and drink. Companies have been canceling their annual shindigs left and right in recent weeks, thus dashing the dreams of countless mid-level executives who have been dreaming of getting the cute assistant in human resources liquored up and making out with her in the coat room since, well, last year's party. After the jump, a list of local companies that have canceled their Christmas festivities thus far. Are we missing some? Email us at tips@cityfile.com.

You can thank us later, slackers, felons, children and so forth. [Starbucks]

Ivanka Trump chats with Lloyd Grove over at Portfolio.com about the turbulent real estate market, her silly new lunch venture with ConAgra, and where she sees herself in 20 years. (Answer: The same place as today, just with more experience.) She also tells us who she's voting for: John McCain, just like her dad and unlike her boyfriend, in case you were wondering. [Portfolio]