· Here's a photo taken just minutes ago of Padmé Amidala, aka Natalie Portman, phone-banking on behalf of Obama. It's not too late! You can still join her on her phone-banking crusade to defeat the evil Empire in these last crucial hours! · So we've been entertaining ourselves around Defamer HQ today by sending fake CNN headlines back and forth, some of which we've collected for you here. They're a lot funnier after you haven't eaten for eight hours and just blogged about human wrecking balls. · We can't guarantee this sticker will get you free Krispy Kremes. In fact, we're pretty sure it wont. [via BoingBoing] · A reader sent in this photo of MTV's John Norris, subject heading: "that wig has to go." That's all we know. · OK—we can't stand this anymore. We need to start watching the returns. Hopefully we'll all be bright, shiny, and happy tomorrow morning. Gawker has quite the liveblog discussion group going on—head over there and contribute your two cents. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night!

In a call that suggests the Obama-blowout exit polls may be more right than wrong, MSNBC has called Pennsylvania for Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois. Fox News is sticking with too-close-to-call.

Barack Obama has been elected the 44th president of the United States! [CNN]

"If you care about the Internet, Obama should have your vote." Just kill me, that seems easier than suffering through another 763-word endorsement for Barack Obama by a former TechCrunch writer who doesn't even live in America. Riley's no idiot. He's just a capitalist. Every four years, tech bloggers realize that political chatter draws far, far more traffic than tech ever will. So they decide to write about politics.Look, Duncan. I read Boing Boing. I'm fully aware that net neutrality is the defining issue of our time, except for copyright law which is also the defining issue of our time. What I don't need is another overlong blog post endorsing a candidate who locked up the San Francisco/Brooklyn Web 2.0 voting demographic last year. At this point, the only good gossip is if there's a Mission hipster tweeting for John McCain from a table at Ritual Roasters — and I mean doing it 100 percent unironically.

We just knew CNN's magical holodeck was going to be hours of fun: Here's political correspondent Jessica Yellin delivering a report to election-night anchor Wolf Blitzer and looking, as Yellin herself pointed out, like no one so much as Star Wars' Princess Leia. The election may remain uncalled, but the future is now! Click the video icon to watch.

The responsibility of raising a veritable petting zoo of exotic children would be burdensome for any parents, but to do so while toplining four or five studio pictures per year is just thankless. Especially when those movies are fraught with the kind of violence and distress saturating the work of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the latter of whom walks us through the delicate duty of parsing real brutality and war from the pop-culture pugilism of Mommy and Daddy's films:

Here's what we know at 7:43:

Will the real Jimmy Wales please stand up? Troll 2.0 nails the slippery Wikipedia cofounder:

Not going to tie yourself down to a couch and watch the results trickle in? Well, no one said you had to: · Election Night Music Round-Up: Jagermeister Music Tour featuring Hinder at the Wiltern, HoneyHoney and The Sweet Hurt at the Hotel Cafe, and Diplo, Abe Vigoda (?), Telepathe, and Blaqstarr at The Echoplex. · The Edison hosts the Cause On The Rocks: 'I Voted!' Party. Dress is "upscale casual," the most hopeful of all dress codes. · It's Hockey Night in California at the Staples Center as the Los Angeles Kings take on the Anaheim Ducks. Prepare for Elisha Cuthbert to boo when necessary.

Why is it that Courtney Holt, the MTV executive reportedly offered a job running MySpace Music, has yet to take the CEO position there? Because, like the other candidates, he figured out that running a feature of a website is not a real job. v10_medium" alt="Another MySpace Music CEO candidate stalls on the job" title="Another MySpace Music CEO candidate stalls on the job" />

Twilight star Robert Pattinson is our kind of teen idol: the sort of guy who calls his chest hair "early pubes" and stumbles out of Crown Bar at 1:45 am, unshaven, bleary-eyed and slurring. Most young girls prefer their locker-room pinups to be clean and unthreatening, but Pattinson doesn't quite fit that mold, and at an appearance last night in New York (where the actor was greeted with Beatles-worthy shrieking), he seemed determined to push his young fans' tolerance of the scruffy, Silver Lake aesthetic as far as it would go:

Even before Google CEO Eric Schmidt officially endorsed Barack Obama, he was cozying up to the Democratic candidate. Take this interview in May, for example. What was Schmidt really thinking when this photograph was taken? Suggest a caption in the comments. The best one will become the post's new headline. Yesterday's winner: its_a_feature, for "Zack and Mari make a porno."

The nascent political career of ex-eBay CEO Meg Whitman just took a knife to the gut — and it was an act of hara-kiri. Whitman, speaking at an event for the Northern Virginia Technology Council, said Virginia was a much better place to start a business than California: "If we were to be starting eBay again, would we choose California? Probably no." Whitman may have a point. But the long-rumored gubernatorial prospect also hasn't learned to speak in soundbites that can't be twisted to make it seem like the pro-business candidate hates the California business culture which made her rich.

Ghetto Fabulous Out The Vote! 11/4 — Eve & Lil' Kim, walking their dogs and voting together in Hollywood, possibly after a hike. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Sure, there are other things on TV tonight, but the election is not like the Super Bowl. Bragging about how you didn't watch the results to catch up on your Netflix as some sort of hipster protest will not win you any friends. Our Founding Fathers are already spinning in their graves because a minority could be President. Don't make them spin faster with your apathy. WATCH Election Night in America [3 PM, CNN] - You have a lot of choices for election coverage - Couric, Williams, Hume, some dude with white boy dreads on MTV - but CNN is where it's at. From John King's interactive map to Anderson Cooper's perfection in all aspects of being, the network is pulling out all the stops tonight. If this election is as lopsided as we hope, you'll want to be awake to watch Wolf Blitzer climax in his slacks as he excitedly tallies the electoral map when someone reaches 270.TiVo

The longest presidential campaign comes down to tonight. Here are your commenting hosts who will be dissecting the results, which you can follow on the handy-dandy map below.

Sorry, Dianne Feinstein! Exit polls are useless and wrong (actually they're not entirely wrong and useless except that no one knows how to read them, except Marc Ambinder). But they're out, now, and soon they'll be everywhere. Let's get to it: "Senate sources" say the Dems will be stuck at 58 seats. Sad! After the jump, the numbers that people like Drudge have. There are no surprises but the slight Obama leads in MO and IN are probably LIES. (Or, uh, misleading.) GA 47-51 FL 52-49 IA 58-42 IN 52-48 MI 60-39 MN 56-39 MO52-48 NC 52-48 NH 57-43 NM 56-43 NV 55-45 OH 54-45 PA 57-42 VA 55-45 WV 45-55 WI 58-42 National 54-44 Senate numbers we don't believe at all (because the Coleman number is absurd): Sununu down 18 Coleman down 12 McConnell up 2 Chambliss up 3 Dole down 52-43 AND:

When will Samir Arora admit that Glam Media, his online ad network, is running out of money? Glam buys up ad space on websites and resells it to advertisers, as well as operating a few token websites itself. But it has overpaid for much of that space, and revenues are running dangerously short of projections. Now, Glam is delaying its payments to partners by up to 120 days, claiming that the move is necessary because advertisers are slowing their payments to Glam. Which is utter nonsense.A well-capitalized ad broker would be able to pay its publishers promptly; it's part of the reason why such middlemen take a big cut of advertisers' payments. The only sensible reason why Glam can't pay Web publishers promptly is because it no longer has the capital to float its accounts receivable, despite raising $85 million earlier this year. I'm sure Arora will deny that he's running low on money — in which case he will be tacitly admitting that he's stiffing his partners.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch UPDATE: Monica Lewinsky Spotted! Our tipster who earlier spied Intern Hall of Famer Monica Lewinsky waiting to vote outside the LA Tennis Club was just corroborated by another operative who preserved the moment in pictures. The tipster writes of delays pushing two hours, but let's face it: Waiting all morning to cast her ballot is the least Lewinsky could do for the American political process. Literally. Click through for a blurry cellphone glimpse of today's local milestone in democracy.

In the future the history books will say this election was fought across blog posts and in the comment trenches, via video links and perpetual forwards. History books will be full of shit, obv, because 99% of the internet noise about the election was barely readable garbage and nonsense. Our resident expert in garbage and nonense, is, of course, Comments Czar Kaila, who decides which of you get to live to comment another day. So below, for your Election Day, Kaila shares some of the very best of the best of insane rejected comments. "Fuck you you fucking liberal elitist fucks," after the jump! Leave 'em hanging: Palin Emails Real