Former MSNBC host-turned PR employer of media people Dan Abrams has sent us a response to our coverage of his project, in which we pointed out that being a journalist and a corporate consultant at the same time is a conflict of interest. You can judge it for yourself, but we should note that, 1: If media reporters gave free passes to all friends and/ or former colleagues, media reporting would be even worse than it is now, and 2: Like we said, we're not allowed to sell out until after we've been laid off. Permanently. Here's his full note:

Us Weekly ate up Hills "stars" Spencer and Heidi's story that they got married on the spur of the moment while on vacation in Mexico. A photographer just happened to be there to capture their beautiful declarations of love! Heidi just happened to have a white, full-length Balenciaga sundress lying around that doubled perfectly as a wedding gown! But the AP is asking if they're actually now husband and wife or if the whole thing was just another elaborate Speidi photo op.The Us story, the AP notes, "does not address whether they obtained a marriage license or took part in a separate civil ceremony, which is required by Mexican law to make the union binding. A couple can register their marriage up to 10 days after a ceremony, but California does not recognize marriage ceremonies outside the United States." Could it have even happened in under an hour, like Speidi claimed? "Americans who wish to get married in Mexico must first go through a process that takes about five days, according to Mexico's foreign relations department Web site. They must obtain a health certificate, including blood test results from a local doctor; and provide official translations of legal documents, such as birth certificates." In a statement issued via Us (wtf?) the allegedly happy couple came pretty close to acknowledging that they hadn't done any of that, saying "like other elopements that happen outside the country, we'll take care of the legal details when we get home." Their publicist was all know-nothing about it, adding, " "If there was a wedding I wasn't invited ... Sorry!" We're sure the meticulously-documented event had nothing whatsoever to do with the next season of The Hills—even though MTV also just happened to be there, filming their vacation. They'd never exploit such a loving, personal moment.

Charlie Rose interviewed Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit on his PBS program last night. It was Pandit's first extended TV interview, and one he clearly prepped for with the help of Citi's communications department, given his insistence on starting off every response with Charlie's name. Unfortunately, Pandit seems to have also been advised not to answer any questions and stick to canned statements instead, so poor Charlie (and the viewing audience) didn't get to find out what exactly transpired behind the scenes last weekend when Citi was rescued by Washington, or what Pandit thought of the Times' crushing account of the bank's failures last Sunday. (This also explains why Charlie looks so grumpy for most of the interview.) Points to Vikram for sitting through 54 minutes without saying anything substantial. And he did wear a nice blue suit and red tie, if that's any consolation. Video of the non-interview after the jump.

A Thanksgiving dinner almost seems superfluous after the feast that was last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion special. There were almost too many highlights to name, though we're sure that noted NeNe aficionado Anderson Cooper was squealing when the buxom breakout went flying at adulteress Kim Zolciak, screaming, "CLOSE YOUR LEGS TO MARRIED MEN! CLOSE YOUR LEGS TO MARRIED MEN!" (She then had to be sat on to avoid further confrontations.) Still, Kim proved her worth in one head-spinning, wig-justifying anecdote:When Bravo figurehead Andy Cohen related an email sent by viewer "Murtice, from Oakland" inquiring about Kim's suspicious hairdo, the Housewife collapsed into a dizzy-making story about how she only had to wear a wig because she had... well, if someone else would like to say "cancer," then she'll go with that. However, after milking what little sympathy she could out of a stone-faced, skeptical NeNe, Cohen pressed Kim further, forcing her to relate a breakdown at Chili's (!) where she discovered that actually, she never had cancer in the first place. It's a fictional miracle! Videogum's got the clip: Click to view

We were shocked to learn that Dancing with the Stars continued its search for America's Next Top Cha Cha-ing Z-Lister after Cloris Leachman was unceremoniously ejected from the proceedings. (Did they really have to insist her partner grab her by her limbs, spin her around, and launch her into the bleachers? That still seems excessively harsh to us.) But continue it did, and multi-purpose, large-breasted Hollywood personality Brooke Burke deservedly took the show's coveted disco ball trophy.To pad out this foregone conclusion, first casualty Jeff Ross was invited back to roast the contestants, presenting the perfect opportunity to get in a few gay-themed jabs at Lance Bass. Because the gayest thing to come out of DWTS has to be Lance Bass—not the fuchsia breakaway sleeves, the Dr. Drew-elicited waterworks, or the soiled dance belt Ross had to peel out from between his ass cheeks following his humiliating first-week defeat. [Dancing with the Stars]

Foreseeing a day when curtailed Hills shooting leaves her without anybody to antagonize, or maybe just catching a faint whiff of those $12 million salaries (or something else) around the corner, Audrina Patridge is angling to join the Twilight revolution. The starlet tells MTV today that, like, hell yeah she's a fan of the vampire novels and their blockbuster movie adaptation, and she's in for the sequels. Just as soon as she's invited:

Yesterday when we posted the infamous ad agency sex tape, our video department thoughtfully censored the clip by superimposing a Thanksgiving turkey over the center of the action. This led to a smorgasboard (HEH) of Thanksgiving-themed jokes in the comments. So in honor of our peerless commenters, and because it's the afternoon before Thanksgiving, we're posting the best (?) below. Vote in the comments for the one that makes you groan the least:

At last night's opening night party for the New York City Ballet's David H. Koch Theater, guest of honor David Koch and wife Julia mingled with Candace Bushnell, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alicia Keys, Al Roker, Debbie Bancroft, Lisa Falcone, Mary Alice Stephenson, Alexandra Lebenthal, Zani Gugelmann, Annie Churchill, Peter Martins, Veronica Webb, Mark Indelicato, Blythe Danner, Valentino, Rachel Roy, Derek Lam, Peter Som, and Vanessa Williams, who all ate, drank, and danced to inaugurate the new Lincoln Center venue. [Wireimage, PMc, Style.com]

People criticize President-Elect Hopey Hussein McGee for promising "change" and then appointing "people with experience in Washington." At his press conference today, he was asked about all the grizzled white dudes from Washington he keeps hiring to fix the economy. As he points out, new Economic Recovery Advisory Board head Paul Volcker hasn't been anywhere near Washington in years, and board staffer Austin Goolsbee has never been to Washington, ever. Then there is an implied joke about Austin's "fresh face" or something, which gets a chuckle from the crowd, thus fulfilling Obama's "one moment of levity per press conference" mandate. A new tone!

· Arrested Development: The Motion Picture holdout Michael Cera has a secret movie—Paper Hearts, a part-doc, part-scripted movie chronicling his relationship with Charlyne Yi, which will hopefully shed some light on their WTF? romance. Sundance buyers: start your engines! [THR] · CBS and Barry Sonnenfeld are developing Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30, a series based on the book of the same name. Example: Write little blurbs about the star of Twilight getting baked. This show is so made for us! [THR] · Studios and networks opt out of the over-the-top, Emmy-style campaigning when it comes to seeking a Golden Globe, leaving Hollywood Foreign Press Association members despondent that they didn't also receive a mid-century Brazilian rosewood desk bearing Mad Men Season 2 DVD in its drawer. [Variety] After the jump: Harvey Levin still sleeping with Satan! Ask us how we know!· Eddie Izzard and Brian Dennehy join Liev Schreiber, Helen Hunt and Carla Gugino in indie feature Every Day. [Variety] · Harvey Levin continues to leave steaming little diarrhea puddles on our TV sets, as the truly unwatchable TMZ show gets a two-season pickup. On the upside, we've become slightly less passive in our couch-potato-ness, as we leap for the remote whenever it comes on. That's sort of an ab crunch! [THR]

Harvey Fierstein, who plays Edna (while wearing a fat suit) in the about-to-close Broadway production of Hairspray, is also known for holding weekly poker games in the theater's basement. The Observer's Spencer Morgan attended recently. Aside from being attacked by a barrage of friendly "faggoty-ass faggot" remarks, he managed to glean—when his tape recorder and notebook wasn't being forcibly removed—that someone close to the production is summoning backdoor johnnys for his own entertainment...

Here's an idea. If you're stressed about the economy, your declining 401K, or the prospect you're going to be unemployed in the near future, you can head out to "Sarah's Smash Shack" in San Diego, where you can pay someone—Sarah, presumably—to, well, smash stuff. "You get upset, you come here, and you break stuff, and it makes you feel better," explains the Fox reporter. Video of what will probably turn into a national chain soon enough is after the jump.

Though Natalie Portman earned an Oscar nomination for refusing to part with her pasties as a stripper in the film Closer, she's been on a genuinely NSFW tear as of late. First, she stunt doubled for a lithe greyhound and went nude for the Wes Anderson short Hotel Chevalier (pictured), then she dated the frequently penis-nosed troubadour Devendra Banhart, whose liner notes revealed a radical new theory that clothes simply get in the way of a man's natural, patchouli-infused musk. Now, Doubt director John Patrick Shanley reveals that Portman wanted the role in his film that eventually went to Amy Adams, but there was one sexless impediment:

Time for the laid off to lawyer up. Today, Forbes reported that "white-collar workers laid off amid the financial crisis are using the 20-year-old plant-closing law" that requires employers to either give workers two-months notice of mass firings or pay up with two months worth of severance. With that in mind, after the jump, layoff tales involving grandparents, clerical errors and typos. (As usual, send your stories to tips@gawker.com.)
You Broke Grandma's Heart

Last weekend, around 60 entrepreneurs under age 35 flew to Cancun for a retreat informally dubbed Summit Series. CNET reporter Caroline McCarthy was one of the press attendees who agreed not to name names. Nice try. The list of attendees identified below includes Dave Morin from Facebook, Joe Green who roomed with Mark Zuckerberg in college, and Sam Lessin who just got back from lip-dubbing Journey at Camp Cyprus. Tony Hsieh just laid off 8 percent of his Zappos staff. Ex-Googler Chris Sacca may or may not be rich, but I'm jealous of him anyway.Dustin Moskowitz, Facebook co-founder with Mark Zuckerberg Tony Hsieh, Zappos, CEO Sam Lessin, Drop.io, CEO and co-founder Chris Sacca, Venture Investor and former Google BD/M&A Michael Chasen, Blackboard, CEO and co-founder Garrett Camp, StumbleUpon, CEO Jud Bowman, Motricity, CEO Jia Shen, RockYou CTO and co-founder Duke Chung, Parature, CEO and co-founder Josh Abramson, Collegehumor.com, co-founder Ricky Van Veen, Collegehumor.com, co-founder Kamo Asatryan, LOLapps, CEO Catherine Levene, DailyCandy, COO Ben Leventhal, Curbed, Founder Ben Lerer and Adam Rich, Thrillist Founders David Karp, Tumblr, Founder Ben Kaufman, Kluster, Founder Lin Miao, Tatto Media, CEO and Founder Sean Mills, The Onion, President Kevin Colleran, FaceBook, Director of Media Sales Dave Morin, FaceBook, Platform Manager Josh Spear, Undercurrent, co-founder Shawn Fanning, Napster, co-founder Nikki Laffel, Gotta Mentor co-founder Tim Ferris, Author and Entrepreneur Charles Forman, Iminlikewithyou, founder Maggie Grace, Actress on LOST Joe Green, Casuses, Founder David Hauser, GotVmail co-founder Scott Harrison, Charity: Water, Founder Graham Hill, Treehugger, CEO and Founder Joel Holland, Footage Firm, CEO and Founder Rob Jewell, SocialCash, CEO and Founder Brian Monahan, People Search Media, co-founder Mike Mothner, Wpromote, CEO and founder Blake Mycoskie, Toms, CEO and founder Liane Mullin, Modelinia, President and co-founder Summer Rayne Oakes, Supermodel and Entrepreneur Josh Peterson, Adteractive, President Hilary Rowland, Hilary Magazine, Founder Keith Richman, Break.com, CEO James Siminoff, Phonetag, CEO and founder Alex Zhardanovsky and Joseph Speiser, Epic Advertising, Founders Eric Stotz, Karma Foundation, President and CEO Neil Vogel, Webby Awards, CEO and co-founder

Kathie Lee Gifford, Cheyenne Jackson-certified bitch and vocally miserable co-host of the fourth hour of Today, was in rare form again this morning. Discussing a performance of Etta James's "At Last" by Beyoncé in the earlier, non-farm-league portion of the broadcast (and surrounded by half-empty wine bottles, as if that really bears mentioning), Green-Eyed Monster Gifford expanded her 20-foot demon wingspan before launching into her own version of the song. Co-host Hoda Kotb responded by giggling nervously, as if to say, "Yes, just like that, Kathie Lee, but—you know—less dried-out, desperate, and utterly soulless." Gifford then launched right into what she does best: complaining. "You thought there was action up above?" she segued into her gripe-of-the-minute. "Well, down below, in the anals of Rockefeller Center—her...guy wouldn't let me in!" Sasha Fierce—we don't know who your bodyguard is, but we think you owe him a performance bonus for keeping the backstage bowels Kathie Lee-free. [Today]

America's failing auto companies continue to Get The Message Loud And Clear about Making Real Changes that will Make America Strong Again. They just really, really need that $25 billion government bailout first, okay? Seriously. GM has already promised to give up some of its corporate jets and order cheaper pencils. And now, a bunch of auto industry types are doing what GM's execs should have done in the first place: carpooling to Washington! Though it may be, objectively, the lamest car pool ever: 1. "As of now, the three executives — Rick Wagoner of General Motors, Alan R. Mulally of Ford Motor and Robert L. Nardelli of Chrysler — are not planning to join the carpool." 2. "Initially, organizers intended to assemble a convoy of numerous fuel-efficient, American-made vehicles to demonstrate the innovation coming from Detroit, but it might end up being more about the people involved than the products. 'From an efficiency standpoint, getting a bus or two would probably be the best way to go.'" 3. "The group is planning a quick trip, perhaps leaving Dec. 7 and heading back late the next day, with no stops for rallies or demonstrations." Two buses, full of auto dealers, on an 18-hour round trip from Detroit to Washington, with no public rallies. But they did get the New York Times to cover it, so hey. [NYT]

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: 11/24 — At the Arclight, JANICE DICKINSON and her live-in man (?) TOMMY FRY took in a screening of Synecdoche, New York. Surprisingly, Dickinson seemed to enjoy pretty much the entire thing, her trademark cackle echoing now and then through the mostly-empty theater, usually whenever there was poo onscreen, which was often. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

♦ Frank Bruni gives Double Crown two stars in today's Times: "It's an intensely pleasant place to hang out, the friendly service and festive atmosphere papering over the menu's weak spots." [NYT]
♦ Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton probably won't be returning to Jeffrey Chodorow's new steakhouse ("Center Cut serves a variety of items that should have died in the previous century"). But he's pretty pleased with Tom Valenti's West Branch. [Bloomberg]
♦ Where to eat out, order in, drink, and party for Thanksgiving. [Eater]

For nearly twenty years, the Demo conference has been considered the place to be for tech startups seeking attention for their new products. Instead of speeches, companies are required to give live demos of brand-new products, basically launching them onstage. Demo organizer Chris Shipley has a reputation for picking products worth flying to a conference to see. But in this economy, Demo has a problem: The show makes money by charging participants $18,500 to get onstage. The rival TechCrunch50 doesn't charge. What does $18,500 buy? Shipley has published a list of conference benefits. Don't bother reading it. Instead of checking off fluffy perks like "an online microsite" and "invitation for one senior executive of your company to attend the invitation-only CEO/Dealmaker's dinner," Shipley should write another post: List all the successful products that were launched at Demo. Because right now my stomach hurts too much to remember them, and I know I'm not alone.