Sure, Barack Obama appointed a number of women to prominent positions in his national security team, but he is still a patent misogynistic. How else to explain the terrible set-up of the podium at his press conference this morning? All the women had to readjust the microphones, which still looked like they were coming out of their heads. It's too much work to get a little milk crate for Hillary and Janet and Susan? We know Obama's a master of stagecraft and political spectacle, so we can only imagine that this was totally 100% intentional, appointing all these short women who you can barely see. After all, Robert Reich didn't have to speak at the economic team press conference, did he? Click for our video compilation of mic-adjusting humiliation!

Here's a couple lessons for all you rookie reporters assigned to cover the Hollywood beat: 1. Make sure your "SHOWBIZ PRESS" pass is always facing outward in the band of your fedora. 2. Place a decoy in that neaby row of telephone booths—that way you can call your scoop into the paper the second it happens. 3. Never, under any circumstance, ask Philip Seymour Hoffman for insights regarding the true nature of the possible child-molesting priest character he plays in Doubt.

Larry Langford, the mayor of Birmingham, has been arrested! For corruption, or something. The Justice Department finally nabbed him! It's on Drudge! Even though you've never heard of Larry Langford. Langford's terrible massive corruption involved country bond deals, the most boring possible way to be corrupt ever. But one thing the Bush Justice Department has been really good at is nabbing small-time Democrats on corruption charges.

The recession has an upside, right? As consumers cut back, austerity trend pieces told us chicken was supposed to supplant beef as what's for dinner. But Pilgrim's Pride, the large poultry producer, has gone bankrupt right after Thanksgiving.

The Tribeca Film Festival was founded to help New York bounce back after the deadly attacks of Sept. 11th. That was all well and good, except for the fact that the fest never managed to turn a profit, much to the chagrin of the festival's founders, Jane Rosenthal, Craig Hatkoff and Robert De Niro, who had established the annual event as a moneymaking enterprise, not as a not-for-profit like, say, Sundance or the Toronto Film Festival. Last year, the trio raised ticket prices and trimmed the lineup, an effort designed to stem the flow of red ink. But it seems the three have figured out a new way to boost the fest's fortunes: They're taking the franchise to the Middle East.

Let's face it: The Wrestler wouldn't be a real Mickey Rourke comeback unless he did it the hardest way possible. Take a beating for your art? Check. Drop an anti-gay slur on camera? Check. And, as of Sunday, embellish your life story in the New York Times? Alas, check.

Media critic Michael Wolff's new book, The Man Who Owns the News, is excerpted in the London Guardian today. But it glosses over the details of a joke in particularly poor taste that the reptilian Newscorp billionaire told his Sun tabloid editor Rebekah Wade—who was was arrested a few years back for assaulting her supposed "hard man" British actor husband—after "a few drinks in a posh London restaurant," about gay sex. "Seeing [Wall Street Journal publisher Robert] Thomson arrive, Murdoch whispered: "For God's sake, don't tell Robert what I said. He's a gentrified man ... very clever," it reads. The actual joke, as it appears in the book, comes after the jump.

Last night on 60 Minutes, a middle-aged man spent fifteen minutes attempting conversation with an inarticulate bohunk until the younger man finally agreed to let him come over. Or, as it was promoted, "Anderson Cooper interviewed Michael Phelps."

Tribune Co. crazy man Lee Abrams to staff: "Revolutions are about 'we'. The leaders need to engage EVERYone. And EVERYone needs to engage the cause. You are either WITH the revolution or AGAINST it. You will either be embraced by the company and win or the company will beat you." Yea, he's lost it. [Romenesko]

In an archeological dig, what is perhaps the world's first LOLcat (or a clever Photoshop job) has been discovered... in teh print! In the photo—a 1905 postcard—a kitten is wearing a dress and sitting in a high chair. This is humorous because cats do not normally wear dresses. To make it even funnier, the photo is captioned, "What's delaying my dinner?" as if the cat could speak. If we find stereopticon cards of Shiba Inu puppies, we're declaring the Internet a total rip-off. [Buzzfeed via My Cats Wear Clothes]

Fears that the R-word would keep audiences from the movies this weekend were unfounded, as the name "Reese Witherspoon" still proved an impressive multiplex draw. Have another helping of turkey-chip pancakes topped with cranberry syrup and a pat of yam, as we grind down to the last of the leftovers and run down the box office numbers:

Social networks have a lifecycle: They start with a small core of early adopters, swell as mainstream users get pulled in by their friends, and then see growth taper off as people get turned off by spam. That's why Friendster is forgotten and why MySpace is looking increasingly stagnant. The price for reaching an audience advertisers care about seems to be a site users can't stand. Facebook, however, isn't following the fashionable trend.

Is it possible that college students—rather than being our nation's elite—are just unsophisticated dolts, like the rest of America? According to a new survey, college kids' favorite magazine is Time. Last year it was Cosmopolitan. What, they don't teach book-learnin' in universities any more? But then you realize that the same survey says college kids' favorite restaurant is McDonald's and their favorite clothing brand is American Eagle and their favorite band is Coldplay, and it all starts to fit. [Ad Age, Previously]

The first batch of listings at the Apthorp—the landmark Upper West Side building that has been home over the years to Nora Ephron, Cyndi Lauper, Conan O'Brien, and Rosie O'Donnell—hit the market this morning. The newly-converted condos range in price between $3.45 and $15.5 million. Just don't be alarmed if you come across a dead body on the roof. [Curbed]

It's been far too long since MGM was on the defensive over Valkyrie, the campaign for which uncomfortably started in its own office lobby but has since found decent enough traction in theaters and on TV. So! Right on cue, and apparently just for old time's sake, a high-ranking New York film critic has found something new to whine about.

What do you do when your big sweeping Oscar-hopeful epic that cost $130 million dollars does a shallow swan dive at the box office? You completely change the party line on the entire movie! Well, that's what Fox is doing about Australia—Baz Luhrmann's continental Nicole Kidman/Hugh Jackman period romance—at least. Though the film initially was being thrust at us as Titanic but with Aborigines and a lot more plastic surgery, it's now been shifted (or downgraded) to an artsy "adult" (not that kind of adult) flick. So its disappointing $20 million Thanksgiving numbers aren't disappointing at all anymore!

Remember how we all got all mad at the Bush administration for fear-mongering after 9/11? They squandered international goodwill with a dumb war, and they tried to make us all afraid, all the time, so we'd keep voting for them, forever, to keep us safe? What bad, bad people, those Republicans. Anyways. On Good Morning America today, Dan Harris, reporting from Mumbai, announced to a sleepy Monday morning audience that the well-coordinated attack in India is basically guaranteed to be repeated here in America, like there is a 100% chance that terrorists will take over the next hotel you check into and kill your children, and al-Qaeda will do a thousand more 9/11s. Is it too late to vote for Rudy Giuliani? He'll protect us!!!

♦ Michael Wolff's biography of Rupert Murdoch goes on sale tomorrow, as you probably know thanks to the torrent of coverage over the past couple of days. Among the juiciest bits: Murdoch despises Bill O'Reilly, his wife Wendi Deng occasionally reads his email, and he's fond of sleeping pills. [NYT, Gawker, Politico, NYO, Portfolio]
♦ The third quarter of 2008 was a punishing one for newspapers. Ad revenue plunged 18.11 percent, the steepest decline in four decades. [E&P]
♦ Tina Brown's pick for host of Meet the Press: Rachel Maddow. [TDB]
♦ Four Christmases was No. 1 at the box office over the weekend, racking up an estimated $31.7 million in ticket sales. [THR]

It was only a matter of time before Page Six Magazine tackled this important relationship issue: the open marriage between bisexual, uber-liberated Genre (and formerly Men's Fitness) editor Neal Boulton and his equally open-minded wife, Claire. The article is called "Secrets of an Open Marriage," but the endearing Boulton, who pursues any type of publicity as fervently as he kisses hot men (like Rolling Stone editor Jan Wenner), doesn't seem like he can keep any secret for long. However!

Men: is your hair clean enough to get you laid? While you've been working out to get ripped abs, has your unstyled, sweat-soaked hair been holding you back from sexing the women of your dreams? No, obviously not. Your lack of money has been holding you back. But Axe, maker of horrifying adolescent body spray and even more horrifying publicity stunts, is going to convince you otherwise! Because that's what Axe does: steadily erode any semblance of dignity the American male may possess. In the grand emasculating tradition of fancy men's underwear, get ready for Axe male hair care products—the new thing that you must have in order to get chicks, bro!