· We'd lay even odds that Will Smith reclaimed his going-away present to Jay Leno after reading the trades this morning.
· In related news, a noted Hollywood blogger today revealed the source of NBC's internal turmoil: Aliens.
· Film critic-turned-director Rod Lurie remembers the glory days when reviewers went on to helm Robert Redford movies instead of just getting unceremoniously discarded by their former publications.
· "You got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be number one. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fucking thing." Who (allegedly) said it: Tony Soprano or disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich?
· Is Steve-O next year's Cloris Leachman?
· A court found that Tyler Perry is singly, solely responsible for the Madea franchise. We mean that as a good thing.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: 12/5 — Ethan from Lost (WILLIAM MAPOTHER) at McCabe's this past Friday. He only stayed for a quick drink and left a good tip, but he kind of gave me a chill. That scene where Hurley realizes Ethan isn't on the ship's manifest totally gave me goosebumps. No thetans seemed to be left behind, but perhaps we should have sprayed some disinfectant just in case. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

When the trailer for Jessica Biel's upcoming film Powder Blue leaked today, the internet was abuzz with speculation: would Biel really be playing a more "enthusiastic" stripper than Natalie Portman did in Closer, or would she leave her pasties and elaborately geometric clothes on? Biel's implied the former in the past, and she recognizes the power of her physique to land roles, she now tells British GQ:

· Not only do you most likely know that Defamer Hall-of-Famer Kathy Griffin starts a four-night run at the Kodak Theater, you probably have tickets for all four nights. But, you know, just in case.
· Be the lucky fan whom Kanye West tells to "eat shit and die" tonight at Power 106's Cali Christmas Bash at the Gibson Amphitheater.
· Ex-Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello has a boy band! They're called The Nightwatchman, and they bring their sweet, sexy sound to the El Rey for... oh, fuck it. It's just Morello and his guitar, and he's probably pissed off about something. For a more lilting pop escapade, Of Montreal is at the House of Blues.
· Novelist Michael Cunningham will read and discuss and read some more at the Hammer Museum's "Some Favorite Writers" series.

I recently reread Den of Thieves, the tale of how federal prosecutors brought down Wall Street giants Ivan Boesky and Michael Milken, the emblems of the '80s takeover boom. It turns out that Boesky never actually said, "Greed is good," the line Michael Douglas uttered as Gordon Gekko in Wall Street.

The collective shrug over a possible SAG strike gathered a few more shoulders today, with representatives for Hollywood's influential Party Planning Mafia acknowledging that no labor impasse (or recession, for that matter) will prevent it from restoring the Golden Globes afterparties to their long-dormant luster. To wit: Press conferences are out, and "plasma screen-outfitted water walls" are in! And that's just for starters.

Yahoo hasn't been able to do anything right lately. Why should Wednesday's job cuts be any different?

Take that! In the game of tabloid one-upmanship that is Brad Pitt vs. Jennifer Aniston, Pitt has now issued his own volley meant to counteract Aniston's recent, attention-getting John Mayer praise (he thinks thoughts!). While talking to E!'s Giuliana Rancic at the Benjamin Button premiere, Pitt extolled on Angelina Jolie's beauty. "I get up some mornings and gasp," he said. Sadly, the simple remark ratcheted Aniston's Uncool-ometer from "Just Chillin'" to "Bogus." [E!]

It's scary to think that in a few months we will be deciding whether to recommend Life on Mars or primetime Leno. The decision there seems obvious, but we weep for the talent bookers, researchers and segment producers at the other talk shows who have to keep track of what was said on a new celebutainment program. Is it time to lower segment standards in order to prevent future incidents of anecdote overlap? We say: Yes. Follow Craig Ferguson's lead and talk about whatever you want for seven minutes.

The fun party game tonight at Michael Wolff's shindig for his Rupert Murdoch biography, The Man Who Owns the News, is going to be to see if anyone from the News Corp. orbit actually shows up. There must have been some overlap in the guest list if Murdoch had Wolff move his party to tonight so as not to conflict with last night's 40th birthday party for wife Wendi Deng. Speaking of whom, we've heard at least one crazy conspiracy theory about who might be spreading rumors about her sleeping around. As with the original rumor, we're extremely skeptical but the theory is so beautifully convoluted and Machiavellian that it's worth sharing.

As though ABC didn't have enough conflict-ridden shows on the air, now Fox News is alleging Grey's Anatomy-type shenanigans behind the scenes of its upcoming estrogencom, In the Motherhood. According to Roger Friedman, the show's problem star is Will & Grace star Megan Mullally, who's loudly voiced criticism about the show's quality and is feuding with costar Cheryl Hines:

In The Audacity of Hope, Barack Obama called his 2004 visit to the Googleplex the "most memorable part" of a trip to California. Google's salespeople are planning to make sure he doesn't forget it.

Despite our best efforts to the contrary by having a Vons worker plunge an inoculation into our arm, we doubt we'll avoid the awards fever epidemic that hits our area this time of year. And how can we not, when historical precedent is being set: That's right. The Los Angeles Critics Association—voting via touchscreen from their Barcalounger hovercraft—have declared that Disney-PIXAR's WALL-E has succeeded in capturing their plaque-encrusted hearts. It's the first animated film in history to receive such an honor, yet didn't quite make the grade when placed against its peers in the Best Animated Film category. (That honor went to Israel's Waltz With Bashir.) If their decision seems unusual, it's not without precedent, as THR points out the group did something similar in 2000 when it gave Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon its top overall honors, but recognized Magical Flying Bamboo Warriors in the Best Kung-Fu Movie That Played Fast and Loose with the Laws of Physics category.

From page 8 of this week's New Yorker: "EDITOR'S NOTE: On the Contributors page of the December 1st issue, the book "In Sickness and in Power," attributed to the New Yorker writer David Owen, was in fact written by a different David Owen." Even funnier? The "other David Owen" is, in fact, the former British Foreign Secretary one of the founders of their Social Democratic Party. And it's Lord Owen to you.

The Los Angeles Film Critics Association just named Wall-E the best motion picture of the year. The film, which is about a whimsical little trash robot and the horrible fat people who enslave him, depicts a universe in which Earth has become uninhabitable, skyscraper-high towers of garbage strewn about a brown-earthed, brown-skied wasteland. It's bleak! But it's also animated and cute and hopeful in its own wise way and it will win Best Picture at the Oscarcademy Awards this year.

Usually the arrest of a corrupt Chicago politician would afford, at best, a paragraph of coverage here at Gawker. It's Dog-bites-man news. But Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is a magical figure, who is connected, directly and indirectly, with so many beloved Gawker characters. Steve Dressler put together this little illustration of Blago's Web of Deceit, and all those who've been caught in it. Join us for explanations, below.

You've heard the charges, you've reviewed the evidence, now hear the testimony: Coldplay issued a statement today insisting that "Viva La Vida" is in fact their own cloying anthem — not lifted from a 12-year-old melody by shreddy guitar legend Joe Satriani. Or, as the quartet so cleverly like to refer to him to their crowds (at least until he sued), "Moe Batriani."

How to make fat Swiss children change their ways? How about slapping an "Every fifth child is overweight" sticker on playground swings which are refitted with super-thick chains to hold up the fat ass of the fat child trying to swing on the anti-fat ad swing? That'll teach 'em to go out in public! An ad agency did this, by choice. [Copyranter at Animal]

· Jay Leno explained a bit more about his new primetime show's format: "It won't be necessarily comedy, Kevin Eubanks fake-laughing, comedy, more Kevin Eubanks fake-laughing, first guest, Kevin, second guest, Kevin, music." He went on to explain that he plans on mixing up the parts in the broadcast where he cuts to his band-leader's infectious fake laughter. [THR]
· Sony announced from Tokyo that it would make $1.1 billion in cuts and lay off 16,000 members of its workforce, but miraculously, none of them will affect Sony's movie, gaming and music divisions. [Variety]
· Jennifer Anison and Gerard Butler will star in a romantic comedy for Columbia, about a bounty hunter who has to retrieve his ex-wife for skipping bail. A rep for Aniston said the actress is "just amazed Angelina would have said those things in the press. Who does she think she is? Does it get any less cool?" [Variety]
· SAG's Monday night powwow was just the shot in the arm Alan Rosenberg's self-esteem needed. It was like strike-support Viagra! Any disgruntled thespian takers? He can go all night! [Variety]
· The Sex Drive team of Sean Anders and John Morris are in final negotiations to write and direct Hot Tub Time Machine, the most ribald comedy to use Red Bull as a major plot point since Yes Man. [THR]

Paul Janka—the poor man's Mystery, a super-aggressive Manhattan pickup artist who's been known to get rough with unwilling ladies, may or may not have a new reality show in the works. That's what he claims in his latest newsletter—and he's looking for a wingman! You know, "one intermediate player and a true beginner, a guy who has real difficulty with meeting girls." Hey guys: do you have what it takes to be Janka's wingman? Previous activities include hanging around parks and appearing on Dr. Phil's "sad perv" segment.