Every wannabe author has this fantasy of what the job is like. This fantasy usually involves writing. Ha! Ben Chadwick, a programmer with an MFA in creative fiction, has called out for help on Craigslist.

It is just a matter of time before a few of the generals at Fox are called to account after the year-long bombing raid that's left its studio clinging to life.

With the holidays now officially upon us, we can think of no more festive activity than gathering around Elisha Cuthbert, dousing her arm in lighter fluid, and setting it ablaze.

We weren't aware that Jennifer Aniston's new dogcom, Marley & Me, was in urgent need of sexing up, but consider us duly apprised. So what is there to say about these new GQ pictures?

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" remixed as life in an ad agency. They make Pigpen work through the weekend! Monsters. Click through for the video:

You wouldn't know it from checking out today's Golden Globe nominations or other recent awards lists, but Sony had big awards-season plans for its Will Smith drama Seven Pounds. What went wrong?

Everyone got bored with attacking idiot Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich at some point mid-yesterday, so naturally today brought the SHAME ON HIS WIFE stories.

A critical Stalker sent us a secretly-snapped pic of Washington Post Watergate-breaking journalist Carl Bernstein, reading one of "his own damn books on a plane." It's A Woman in Charge: the Life of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

[Venice's St. Mark's Square is flooded with water and light after the strong winds pushed the Adriatic Sea into the ancient city, image via AP]

We've come a long way from our days as a one-person blogging operation and this redesign reflects our evolution into a news operation that now posts some 50 stories a day.

"Newspaper boom" in Brazil. Go there now! [Huffpo]

Greetings, Defamer readers. If you've been with us for a long time, you may have noticed a slow and steady bloat encroach upon what was once a tidy and compact visual read.

Greg Gutfeld, the constantly gay-panicked meathead host of Fox's late-night Red Eye show, is miffed that Fox & Friends anchor Steve Doocy won't answer his friend request.

The puppycam has broken a record, reports Alley Insider: 15 million voyeurs watching over these innocent pups. It's become harder to watch now that several of them have been ripped from their homes.

Let it never be said that we don't understand the value of a click-through (witness our new look!). But, uh, KCBS 2, can we talk for a sec?

The Post had a fun time this morning with two Fashion Institute students who giggled about being arrested for dealing coke. Now the school assures everyone: there are no drugs on campus any more:

• Shopping for high-end luxury products during a recession must be done covertly and in private, and must not be discussed with outsiders under any circumstances. [NYT]
• Stefano Gabbana has lots to say about the fashion biz. And seasonal fruit. [WWD]
• Saks is closing 16 of its bridal salons. [WWD]
• It looks like Agyness Deyn has a fresh fur scandal on her hands. [Daily Mail]
• Why did Tara Subkoff celebrate her birthday last night at the Carlyle? "I'm getting a little bit older and figured I needed to start making the shift." [SF]
• Diptyque and amyl nitrite: Kate Moss's winning combo. [ModelsBlog]
• Model Alessandra Ambrosio has launched a YouTube channel. [YouTube]
• Fashion mags: More nudity, less fashion. [R29]
• Two FIT students were busted last night for running a coke ring. [NYP]

[That's blogger Kenneth in the 212 in between Claire Boulton and her famehound maybe-not-acting-on-his-bisexual-tendencies-these-days husband Neal Boulton, at a party for gay magazine Genre, of which he's the editor]

Google is throwing not one, not two, but three holiday parties for its New York employees this year. Such is the cash-flush search engine's definition of austerity.

Pop-up mini-shelter for homeless people [BoingBoing]