Good news! The cop who shoved the guy off his bike in Times Square then arrested the cyclist and filed a false report claiming the cyclist rode into him has been indicted!

Bob Yari, the development baron-turned-indie mogul who co-produced Crash before losing a lawsuit to share the film's 2005 Best Picture Oscar, announced late Friday that he'd seek bankruptcy protection for his distribution company.

Why won't ShopRite make Adolf Hitler a birthday cake? [LHL]

So Barack Obama's transition team finished its official report on the Blago scandal and it turns out that no one did anything wrong, hooray!

Finally, Guy Ritchie is going to get financial compensation for marrying/sexing/ignoring the pile of macrobiotic sinews that America affectionately calls "Madonna." And, according to the Material Girl's rep, the divorce settlement is major:

A few weeks ago, MacMillan CEO John Sargent sent out a memo to the publisher's employees saying, basically, "no raises for anyone this year—but Merry Christmas!" Now, they're laying people off as we speak. (But Merry Christmas!) It's 4% of the company, including imprints such as Farrar, Strauss & Giroux and the children's division; the the Publishers Weekly says it's 64 people.

We heard Time's Washington Bureau chief Jay Carney was leaving the magazine, but now we hear the stunning reason: to be VP Joe Biden's communications director. Carney was in the tank all along!

Good news: Barack Obama is the President! [AP]

With your holiday shopping done, cards mailed and plane tickets booked, just refill that valium prescription and you’re ready for family time. Will your trip home be It’s A Wonderful Life or Natural Born Killers?

These last few months, Fox News anchor Shep Smith has been acting weird. Liberal weird. Now we're sure something's wrong, because good ol' Shep is talking up Hussein Obama, and talking down god:

[The increasingly famous, increasingly rich Tina Fey filming a scene of her show "30 Rock" with Jack McBrayer today; image via INF]

Our crystal ball is known to break down occasionally, but rarely does a movie undercut our box-office guesses by more than 60%. And then came Delgo, whose implosion last weekend is truly, historically unprecedented.

• Glamour's list of 2008's style dos and don'ts is now online. We'll leave it to you to guess where this outfit worn by Jodi Marsh landed. [Glamour]
• Marc Jacobs chats about his new Stephen Sprouse-inspired collection for Louis Vuitton. [SF]
• Carmen Marc Valvo has decided against staging a runway show at Fashion Week in February. [WSJ]
• Barack Obama has already picked out his tux for the inauguration, but a few designers share their sketches anyway. [WWD]
• Mayor Michael Bloomberg went holiday shopping on Saturday and picked up Diana Taylor a pair of $29.99 fleece gloves at Modell's Sporting Goods. Times are tough, clearly. [NYT]

The celeb-intern trend is out of control, and it's partially our fault! Playing the "fabulist angle" forward, model-socialite-publishing heiress Lydia Hearst is interning for Blackbook.

Most Sherlock Holmes costumes distinguish themselves through accessories like a pipe and deerstalker hat, but we'd wager that Robert Downey Jr.'s stripped-down take on the character will be far more popular in WeHo this Halloween.

Execs at the National Lampoon are charged with illegally inflating the company's stock price, which leads to a blogger making a predictable joke. Comedy sucks these days. [TheStreet.com]

Where did disgraced governor and brush-fanatic Blago get his hair? Astute Simpsons historian and Gawker videoguy Mike B. points out that it was clearly from "ancient Simpsons pre-Kent Brochman anchor Scott Christian."

Have you heard the big crazy news? Guy Ritchie, film director, is getting between $76 and $92 million in divorce settlement monies from his now ex-wife, folk singer Madonna Louise Ciccone. That is so much cheddar that maybe a mouse has died from being so happy while dreaming of it! And the funny thing is, who the F was Guy Ritchie before she came along? Just a dude who made some dude-ish British indie crime caper movies (and is now making Sherlock Holmes wiff Robert Downey Jr) and well, hell, he could retire now forever and never have to pretend he has a viable career ever again. Just like:

Time Warner may seem like a grinch laying off thousands of staffers less than two weeks before Christmas, but the company isn't lacking holiday spirit entirely: Time Warner Cable is giving all employees (as well as customers who request one) a pin-up calendar featuring its cable repairmen in a variety of suggestive poses. Just what you've been waiting for, we're sure. [NYDN]

It's only been one day, and already Muntader al-Zaidi, the Iraqi reporter who terrorized George W. Bush with high speed shoe projectiles, is already a full scale national hero. Viva los zapatos (in Arabic)!