· Despite a tanking economy, this year's Sundance should continue to be the conspicuous display of Stoli-and-chocolate-dipped-strawberry consumption we know and love. [THR]

When we saw the photos of Bernie Madoff returning home a few hours ago, we didn't realize he'd also been pushed by angry pedestrians! Were there Madoff victims waiting outside his building for him to return? Did some random passerby feel a sudden urge to exact revenge and give him a good shove? It's unclear, but someone deserves a big bouquet of flowers from Mort Zuckerman or Steven Spielberg this evening!

Our new press secretary and our president-elect's campaign media strategy get the Times Magazine treatment this Sunday. There is, frankly, nothing all that revealing. But there are amusing anecdotes!

America's favorite love affair between a former Fly Girl and a Puerto Rican skeleton may be coming to a tragic end. That is, if Leah Remini has anything to say about it!

How bleak is the situation at Doubledown Media, the company that publishes Trader? Try this on for size: "Two Doubledown employees recently took a box of Gevril watches to Manhattan's diamond district to have them appraised. Doubledown received the watches as barter payments for ad pages, and in the past has used them as sales incentives or giveaways." [Portfolio]

The courts are doing everything possible to make this nasty legal situation comfortable for Hedge Fund Hustler Bernie Madoff, who after all only set billions of dollars on fire. Stay home and rest, Bernie:

That whole Milk/Hockney thing got us thinking about other recent examples of homoerotic art and their inspirations. [NSFW things follow after the jump.]

Typically, Alec Baldwin uses his platform to come out against easy targets like Sarah Palin and Dane Cook's vagina-like face. However, his ambivalent HuffPo blogging about Caroline Kennedy has been messing with his audience's mindgrapes.

Spotted: World's fanciest former magazine editor Tina Brown in Tulsa, Oklahoma, spreading the gospel of microfocused Princess Diana gossip-rehashing to interested citizens of the Sooner State. The local paper relives the magical encounter:

• There isn't much that impresses Frank Bruni at David Bouley's new Secession. Described as "the menu of an unfocused, distracted mind," the Tribeca spot comes up star-less in today's Times. [NYT]
• Bobby Flay is opening two restaurants next year in the Mohegan Sun. [Eater]
• Top Chef contestant Sam Talbot will oversee the seafood restaurant planned for the Mondrian Hotel, opening on Lafayette Street in 2009. [NYT]
• Steve Cuozzo and Jay Cheshes offer up thoughts on Oak Room. [NYP, TONY]
• The NYT publishes a profile of Rocco DiSpirito; his critics react accordingly.
• Looking for a 23,000-square-foot club in Chelsea? You're in luck! [GS]

In a pivotal Milk sequence, James Franco strips naked and dives into a rich gay man's pool, his creamy buttocks thereby setting in motion the ripples that would lead to a sweeping social revolution.

Esquire can now retire their esteemed old "What I've Learned..." feature. Paris Hilton has filled out the questionnaire, and once you find out that someone has a nightclub in their house, there's just no topping it.

Facebook: now a legal medium for foreclosure notices. Great. [NYP]

Bill Kristol's very first New York Times column ran on January 7, 2008. It seems like only yesterday! Thankfully that means his contract is now just about up.

What's this? Someone partying at Marquee bought a $20,000 bottle of Armand de Brignac champagne? Guest of a Guest doesn't know who it was—the bottle-buyer wanted to stay anonymous, for obvious reasons—but let's investigate. The way in which the clubgoer is brandishing the bottle in this photo—with the fizz spewing out of the top—is clearly phallic. Freud would have much to analyze. As obnoxious and appalling as this is, we're still glad (if only for the club's staff) that these morons still exist. Let's salute the overspending assholes of the world—who, unlike the tightwad assholes of the world—are at least keeping people employed.

Valkyrie-Opening Eve is days away, when children leave plates of strudel and wheat beer for Santa Claus von Stauffenberg, in the hopes they'll wake up to a Hitler-assassination the next morning.

It's not just elderly Jews and the odd billionaire real estate mogul who will go down as victims of Bernie Madoff's mammoth $50 billion Ponzi scheme. There are a few blonde, beautiful, non-Jewish socialites who are suffering the consequences, too, such as the "five stunning daughters" of Walter Noel, who handed over a staggering $7.5 billion to Madoff. The most public of the five girls: Marisa Noel Brown (left), who has appeared in recent years Hampton Style and Town & Country, and, somewhat ironically, was last featured in the now-defunct magazine 02138. [GoaG]

Bill Gates has been trying to own the Internet for 13 years. He couldn't beat Google. He couldn't buy Yahoo. So now he wants to start with a clean slate. Enter "Kumo"!

Fox Business Network's Christmas card is here! And their nemesis, CNBC screamer Jim Cramer, appears as the Grinch. They hate him because he works at a network people actually watch. Click for big pic:

A political pundit who sometimes acts, Sean Penn won widespread admiration for finally appearing likable on-screen in the Oscar-buzzed Milk. Now, though, some are calling his political associations anti-gay.