A flack for Ketchum named James Andrews had to fly into Memphis yesterday for a client meeting with FedEx, and observed, correctly, that Memphis is a hellhole. This could get him fired.

Fortunately, it appears everyone on board escaped the US Airways plane before it sank into the Hudson River. In the survivors' first interviews, they tell their harrowing tales.

Everyone has something to hide. Big Love, the new season returns Sunday January 18, 9pm. Only on HBO.

1/14 — Interesting night last night: ERIC DANE at Joan's on Third, strolling around on his cell phone, yapping away, trying to look important. Nearly didn't recognize him - he weighs at least 40 pounds less than I thought he would. Made some snide comment to my friend that he looked like he had cancer - to which she reminded me HE DID. I'm going straight to hell. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Oh, the plaintive tweets about New York's lousy weather! And yet the media elite remained so addicted to Twitter they took off their mittens to overinform the world.

Citizen journalists reacted quickly to the news that a US Airways Airbus crashed into the Hudson River this afternoon. They rushed to the scene, and they brought their cameras.

If you haven't already publicly forsaken all your Facebook friends in order to earn a Whopper, it's too late. Facebook has crippled the Burger King "Whopper Sacrifice" anti-friendship widget for being too mean.

Just who is this terrible Von Smith, who appeared on American Idol last night? That's what the ladies of The View wondered, before being reminded that he'd actually performed on their show in 2007.

If you, like us, can barely endure a season's worth of Bachelor rose-distributions and Fantasy Suite-nailings to learn who absilicious father-of-one Jason Mesnick chose to be his lawfully contracted reality bride: we have exciting news.

Good news! The FAA says all 155 people aboard the US Airways jet that crashed in the Hudson River have survived. [NYDN, NYT]

If one of your co-workers suddenly shows up to work dressed like a complete slut, there may be a good explanation for it: She may just be hoping to hang on to her job. In a poll involving 3,000 women, 27 percent of the respondents said they'd be willing to wear a "slightly risky outfit" to work if it meant they'd get a bonus or promotion. [Daily Mail]

Reporters from the New York Times and the Washington Post are the Bloods and Crips of journalism. Today, their conflict escalated into an archly-worded pool report:

Whether or not Josh Brolin was drunk again last night's NBR ceremony, his speech featured so much gin-soaked verisimilitude that we fully expected him to end it by slur-shouting, "Josh Brolin's got issues!"

A passenger plane has crashed into the Hudson River in New York City. According to the live pictures on MSNBC, passengers, some wearing life jackets, are being rescued from the chilly waters.

Attention screen-addled young (or old, whatever) folk: Gawker Media is looking for a television-obsessed intern to watch TV a few days a week, in search of newsworthy clips for social commentary. There are two qualifications:

· Music Reacharound News: Metallica, Jeff Beck, Little Anthony and the Imperials, Run-DMC and Bobby Womack will all be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Not surprisingly, America's fishermen weren't so happy to see Jeremy Piven put down their livelihood on GMA this morning and tell the world that he hasn't eaten fish in five months and has no plans to start any time soon. The National Fisheries Institute, a seafood trade association, has struck back with a rebuttal. It's in the form of subtitles that appear below Piven's interview. (And we're pretty happy we just learned a new word: macro-psychotic.) Looks like the ball is now in your court, Piven. [YouTube]

In your Thursday media column: Foreign correspondents are anachronized, jobs are vaporized, and the Obamanaguration will not be televised. (Yes it will):

Indie 103.1 stops broadcasting. No more MGMT, Los Angeles! [103.1]

Google has axed six services, from Google Video uploads to a shopping-catalog search. But none has sparked more outrage than the closure of Dodgeball.com. Dennis Crowley, the friend-locating service's twentysomething founder, is miffed.