• Kate Moss will celebrate her 35th birthday this weekend with a "four-day marathon of excess." The sight of a bunch of models standing around a giant pig on a spit at a hog roast? Priceless! [DM]
• She's no Michelle, but Oscar will be dressing Hillary for the inauguration. [People]
• Marc Jacobs, Alexander Wang, and Calvin Klein Inc. have all cancelled their Fashion Week postshow parties, alas. [WWD]
• Following in the footsteps of Saks, Lord & Taylor is now laying off staff, too. [Fashionista]
• L'eau de Brooklyn will debut in March. [BS]
• Alexander McQueen and Puma are teaming up on a new line. [Pipeline]
• Goodbye, Bush: Celebrate Bush's exit with a discounted bikini wax. [Racked]

We've all wondered what drove Bernie Madoff to (allegedly) commit his crimes. Was he an obsessive-compulsive narcissist? Just greedy? One factor we didn't consider: genetics. Fortune reports this afternoon that Bernie wasn't the first member of his family to run afoul with the authorities. A broker-deal registered to Bernie's mother, Sylvia Madoff, was shuttered by the SEC more than 40 years ago for failing to file financial records with the agency. Strangely, acquaintances of the family don't recall Mrs. Madoff working as a broker, which would have been highly unusual for a woman at the time, and the firm, Gibraltar Securities, used the Madoff family house in Queens as its mailing address. (Fortune suggests the firm was used as a front by Bernie's father, Ralph.) Unless Bernie or his brother address the matter, it's unlikely we'll ever find out since both Sylvia and Ralph Madoff died in the 1970s. But for prosecutors scouring the globe for Madoff's illicit gains, perhaps it's just the clue they've been looking for! The tiny British colony of Gibraltar is one of the world's most notorious tax havens. [Fortune]

1/15: Never Forget [Max Silvestr]

Sponsorships are dire at Sundance this year—amongst the presenting sponsors, Volkswagen dropped out, and Entertainment Weekly is barely staying afloat. Still, we had no idea how bad things had gotten until we got thirsty.

The first full day at Sundance is eerily quiet in streets and screening rooms alike, but that's not keeping the snap judgments and quasi-news from cascading in from the Park City press corps:

• Add Bobby Flay to the list of chefs being sued by their waiters. [GS]
• The death toll mounts: A list of restaurants that closed this week. [Eater]
• Oh, the lengths restaurants will go to catch a critic in their midst. [GS]
• Not surprisingly, JGV is a fan of Co., which he invested in recently. [JGV]
• Got $395 to burn? Aquavit has a five-course menu for you next week. [Zagat]
• One good thing about the recession: We thought we'd never have to read another article about eating gold ever again. And yet we were wrong. [WSJ]

Your cold (double meaning) Friday media column: Star Trib goes bankrupt, layoff rumors, and you can watch Al Jazeera instead of reading book reviews, which will soon be nonexistent:

Aw, we're almost misty-eyed. In an hour, the Bush White House will release a damning report on a Friday afternoon for the very last time.

Olivia Palermo's cousin, Nevan Donahue, the hooker-soliciting costar of The City, keeps doing sad, trashy things. Like crapping out on a hotel bill. And having an embarrassing $50 limit on his credit card.

John Battelle is the salesman for a host of indie sites, from the futuristic Boing Boing to the Web-obsessed TechCrunch to mommyblog Dooce. What does it say that his company, Federated Media, is canning workers?

Richard Dreyfuss' play delayed; reportedly fed lines via earpiece. [Telegraph]

"I may not have always been a New Yorker," Hillary Clinton, who lives in Washington, said in her farewell-to-the-Senate address, "but I know I always will be one." She wrote a book about it!

It's not just you: We all tend to put our life-fulfillment-guru talk-show deities on a pedestal. We ask, then, that you hold on tightly to your sweater capes as we relay the following:

Israel announced today that it's close to ending its war in Gaza, possibly as early as this weekend. Just in time for the news to be swallowed by the Obamanauguration coverage saturation.

You may want to think twice before you go home with the guy who takes you out for dinner tonight. A group of researchers say their new "mathematical model" proves that "more reliable men" are willing to wait longer before having sex for the first time. [Telegraph]

With its absentee voice talent including Philip Seymour Hoffman, Toni Collette and Eric Bana, Mary and Max was the least star-studded Sundance opener in years. Which was too bad for this guy.

Get ready to see nine months of fab, phat maternity wear: Kimora Lee Simmons and boyfriend Djimon Hounsou say they're having a baby. Kimora reportedly spilled the beans to her employees last week. No word on whether it's a boy or a girl, or if they've come up with a name yet. Clearly they'll have some work to do to find a name that goes along with Kimora, Djimon, Ming, and Aoki. [E!]

1/15 — I was shopping at the Banana Republic on Beverly Drive again, and while shopping I saw Mr Sark, real name DAVID ANDERS, the bad guy from Alias and Heroes. He looked hot! But no ass though... was a little bit disappointed but oh well, he was still hot! He seemed very normal which was kinda nice. I IMDBed him, and I always thought he was British but he's apparently not! Fun Fact: he has a black brother. Who would have thunk it! [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

"Having a hard time meeting that big mortgage payment for the oversized place you probably shouldn't have borrowed to pay for? Well, relief might be in the cards. That is if you're willing to have a porno shot in your home." [Dealbreaker]

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Jan. 16 @ 1pm Salma Hayek looking amazing walking by herself into an office building. Lots of pap shmears outside taking photos.