Not yet recovered from M.I.A.'s 9-months-pregnant body dressed to resemble a Minnie Mouse head? Coldplay in colorful, matching melody-pirate outfits? You have a Grammy hangover. Take some box office numbers and go back to bed:

Renee Zellweger and boyfriend Dan Abrams walking around on the Upper East Side ... Hugh Jackman having a picnic in Central Park with his wife and kids ... Daniel Radcliffe leaving Morandi on Waverly Place ... Agyness Deyn walking in the Village ... Kirsten Dunst smoking on the sidewalk ... Isla Fisher arriving at JFK with her daughter Olive ... Whitney Port getting coffee with City co-star Allie Crawford in the West Village ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse on Charles Street ... Lauren Hutton walking with a friend in the East Village ... Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and the kids heading into the Kabbalah Center ... Amy Adams arriving at JFK ... and Samantha Ronson leaving the Bowery Hotel.

Mickey Rourke put some Oscar-race distance between himself and Sean Penn last night, winning the British Academy Awards' Best Actor prize before ceremonially washing it down backstage with a bottle of Champagne.

Page Six Magazine is folding, but not before they stroke the egos of anyone who could maybe give them a job with this here list of NYC's 50 Hottest Bachelors. Five problematic entries:

• Magazine newsstand sales tumbled during the second half of 2008. [NYT]
• The Grammys were seen by an estimated 19.1 million people last night. [AP]
• The Times reports on the Times's recent troubles, conveniently concluding the paper's "positioned itself well to ride out another year of recession." [NYT]
• Steve Brill has a few thoughts on how the Times can save itself. [Poynter]
• Not surprisingly, SI is milking every last dollar out if its swimsuit issue. [WSJ]
• Following the news last week that Universal and DreamWorks were parting ways, Disney announced today it would distribute DreamWorks's films. [THR]
• Jim Cramer's ratings are up; his stock picks are as lousy as ever. [Barron's]
• A Queens hairstylist is suing the Daily News after the paper accidentally identified her as "Manhattan Madam" Kristin Davis. Twice. [Regret the Error]

The financial world is in ashes. But that makes adorable little startup Twitter all the more precious. It is perhaps the only Internet dream left. And any economist will tell you that scarcity creates value.

Most-shirtless Oscar-nominated screenwriter Dustin Lance Black made his deepest inroads yet to awards-night glory, claiming two WGA prizes Saturday for his work on Milk.

Ooo, the rumors are true. MSNBC character and PR firm owner Dan Abrams is dating permasquint actress Renee Zellweger. There's photographic evidence!

If you're a banker facing the very dire prospect of having your salary capped at $500,000 a year, it probably seems as if the absolute nadir has been reached. Sadly, though, there's yet a further spiritual level to sink to: the one where Slate's Jacob Weisberg comes riding in on his chariot to defend your honor with an earnest editorial.

Barack Obama is in Elkhart, Indiana, one of those towns where there aren't any jobs left, to shame the Senate into passing his damn stimulus bill already.

Though the story that Chris Brown may have assaulted Rihanna over the weekend is dispiriting enough, in Hollywood, things can always get worse. Now, news is breaking about a new allegation.

Headband-loving socialite Arden Wohl's short film, Two Other Dreams, premiered this past weekend. What's it about, you ask? "Drugs, strange spirituality, co-dependency between female friends," and, uh, necrophilia, which means it probably won't be appearing on cable in the near future. Luckily, the film will be on display at APF Lab until February 28th, so there's still time for necrophiliacs to take in the masterpiece before it disappears forever. [NYM]

Did you know that financier Steven Rattner's wife Maureen White, the former national finance chair of the Democratic Party, had a hilarious drunk driving arrest last October? Nope, because no one reported on it!

As the last awards stopover for two weeks before the Oscars, the Orange British Academy Film Awards could have made things fun by rejecting Slumdog Millionaire just for the hell of it. Oh well.

We won't attempt to "explain" this Denny's commercial, except to say: if that spidery one-eyed banana ever gets within 15 feet of our food, the shotgun is coming out. Click to watch this...thing.

Ever wonder why the CEO of your company barely looks up at you when you greet him/her on the elevator? Here's a possible explanation: According to a new study in Psychological Science, rich people are much less likely to make contact with others. "The study concludes that nonverbal cues can signal wealth—or lack thereof—to others, just as effectively as the clothing they wear or the cars they drive." [Canwest, WSJ]

We were all so excited for the Obama presidency because suddenly all those lovable losers we've grown to love during the Bush years would be influential and important! Hah.

Who took that photo of dolphin-boy Michael Phelps hitting a bong? Who cares? It's no worse than that photo of you in college, licking liquid acid off a naked mule. But the media is investigating!

[Actress Kirsten Dunst has lunch with friends in the East Village; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Michael Bloomberg presented keys to the city this morning to Chesley Sullenberger and four other members of the crew of Flight 1549 for their heroic efforts in saving the lives of 155 people a couple of weeks ago. "These true professionals are not there to just serve drinks and snacks. They are there to keep us safe," the mayor said in his opening remarks. It's nice to see Sully receive an honor he rightfully deserves, but "drinks and snacks"? What airline is Mayor Bloomberg flying? Oh, right, that's the one. [NYT]