Not even usually scruplesless LA PR flacks are immune to the public outcry over Nadya Suleman, that lady who made science give her 14 children. She's been dropped by the pair that was representing her.

Having tried to block it for years, a broke Michael Jackson has finally agreed to auction off a large collection of his belongings. Auctioneers for Julien's Auctions were let into Neverland Ranch to ransack it.

Last night's waste-of-Alec-Baldwin Saturday Night Live was a sour little mess. But, in the interest of focusing on the positive, the three best sketches are after the jump.

Well, at least one other person had a lonely little Valentine's Day. Celebrated widestanced actress Kathleen Turner. A tipster saw her dining out last night, table for one.

Jade Goody, a 27-year-old British woman suffering from cervical cancer, had her diagnosis broadcast on national television. And now that her illness has been deemed terminal, she'll film her last moments alive.

Madonna's current boyfriend, six-year-old 22-year-old schoolboy model Jesus Pinto da Luz, has been stolen, his parents claim. He's not allowed to call them and is being held captive at the singer's Maldives lair.

OK, please ignore the cheesy OC video mash-up. It's the only video of the song's album version that I could find, and you need to hear it with all the orchestration. So, yeah. Enjoy.

Sure, other writers have gone to seduction classes undercover. But how many were female? And how many told their male classmates they'll always be "schlubby" beta males?

Ugh. Ponzi ponce Bernie Madoff has claimed another. William Foxton, a 65-year-old retired British military officer, shot himself in the head after losing his life's savings in Madoff's $50 billion moneysuck.

How did the Tumblr This Is Why You're Fat go from zero to 1.3 million pageviews in two days? How could it not?

Fashion Week is going strong at Bryant Park. Do you wish you were there? No, me neither. But here are some pictures, in case you're curious. Lots of skinny blonde girls, plus Michelle Obama's designer!

If you were cool and went out last night, you missed two hours of decent-ish television on the Fox network! Kind of unbelievable, I know. But Dollhouse and Terminator ain't bad.

Happy V-Day, dicklickers. Obviously I'm working today and obviously you're on the internet. So boo-hoo for both of us. If you're staying in tonight like me, but want some sexy-time, here are movie suggestions.

Today we have a hair-losing celebrity, a mean ol' drunk, a bumbling singer, a secret Whopper-eating vegetarian, and an actress blackmailed with a drugs tape.

She's done reality TV and (horrifyingly) interviewed her own daughter on the red carpet, and now Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay and presumably other children, has an exciting new job opportunity: creepy Long Island transient.

Defamer's Week In Review: Sweethearts were lost, found, exploited and uncorked. Reminisce with us after the jump, and enjoy your Valentine's Day weekend!

· Run, Clive, run! [The View]

Friday
· Annie Lennox appears at the Grammy Museum for a Q&A/mini-performance.

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow, which means there's no better time for our best commenters of the week to win a romantic getaway nestled in Joaquin Phoenix's roomy, hoax-abetting beard. So who won?

Is that box of chocolates about saving your relationship, or saving the economy? Florists, chocolatiers, and card-sellers are hoping for some love from shoppers this weekend. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)