Undergoing major surgery is no joke, and obviously you hope that your surgeon is confident, focused, and completely undistracted as they take your life in their hands. But this is 2009, and so such requirements must take second place to a human right that should soon be entering the constitution: the freedom to publicize each move you make via self-aggrandizing 140-character messages. Yes, doctors are now Twittering surgeries, like last week's removal of a cancerous tumor from a man's kidney that was live-Tweeted, including tense updates on each stage of the procedure and shout-outs to the surgical assistants. And there you were thinking that Julia Allison at Fashion Week was currently the most stomach-clenching Twitter experience available.

This morning's Good Morning America interview of Herman Rosenblat, the big liar author of fabricated Holocaust love story and 'memoir' Angels at the Fence, is even more entertaining than the earlier leaked footage.

The murder rate is up. So is syphilis. But city streets are quieter and cleaner, according to a new report by the mayor's office. In fact, the Sanitation Department found that 96% of streets are "acceptably clean," an all-time record! We'll have to keep that in mind the next time we step on chewing gum, old cigarette butts, and used Metrocards. [NYDN]

Today we have a dirty Berlin casting couch, a fashionista with a cocaine rider in her contract, a rockstar's public threesome, a wicked family secret, and two actors who did it... to each other!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, the New York Post's Sean Delonas cartoon today. In other news: on this day in 1688, the first formal protest against slavery by an organized white body in English America was made.

It's a noble tradition: journalists going undercover and obscuring their real identity, in order to serve the public by bringing them the unvarnished truth about the real issues of the day. And no issue is currently more pressing than the one Eric Wilson takes on in today's Times: Given the grave economic situation, are the sales clerks at Madison Avenue boutiques still complete bitches?

A recap of the shows, parties, and gossip you've missed at Fashion Week thus far after the jump.

• Norah Jones has paid $4.9 million for a 4,100-square-foot townhouse at 166 Amity Street in Brooklyn. The home, which dates back to 1843 and is 25 feet wide, has six bedrooms. [Brownstoner]
• Money manager Christopher Browne has put his 30th-floor, four-bedroom duplex at 515 Park Avenue on the market for $32.5 million with Corcoran's Robby Browne. [NYO, Corcoran]
• Peter Wallace, a managing director at Blackstone (and the son of Fox News host Chris Wallace) and his wife Jennifer have paid $6.75 million for a four-bedroom apartment at 1100 Park Avenue. [Cityfile]
• Disgraced money manager Alberto Vilar has re-listed his three-bedroom apartment at 860 United Nations Plaza, nearly four years after he first put it on the market for $14.5 million. It's now listed for $5.5 million. [Curbed]

Which is less appropriate: A brand-newmom performing at the Oscars, from bed, or an image-conscious Olympian trying to lay low in a strip club? Decide for yourself.

Designer Doo-Ri Chung turns 36 today. Matt Dillon is 45. Yoko Ono is celebrating her 76th. John Travolta is turning 55. Magazine icon Helen Gurley Brown is 87. Writer Toni Morrison is 78. Molly Ringwald turns 41. Breakfast Club director John Hughes is 59. Singer Regina Spektor turns 29. Dr. Dre is 44. Cybill Shepherd is 59. Hedge fund manager Mark Kingdon is 60. Film director Milos Forman is turning 77. And Wheel of Fortune's very own Vanna White is 52 today.

• President Obama is unveiling a $75 billion plan today to help struggling homeowners. A press conference is scheduled for 12:15pm. [WSJ, NYT, CNN]
• The Dow fell 3.8% yesterday to close at its lowest point since November. How today goes hinges on the response to Obama's housing rescue plan. [CNN]
• More on the life and times of Allen Stanford, the Texas financier who may have presided over an $8 billion fraud. [BN, NYT, WSJ]
• GM says it needs another $16 billion to stay in business. Oh, but it's still going to slash 47,000 jobs and close five plants anyway. [WSJ, NYT]
• GE's Jeff Immelt is waiving his $11.7 million bonus. [FT]
• Home construction fell a seventh straight month during January. [WSJ]
• Former CNBC anchor Ron Insana is leaving SAC Capital. [DB]
• More on Jon Winkelried's retirement from Goldman Sachs. [WSJ]

• Angelina Jolie was seen apartment hunting in Washington Heights. This comes weeks after Angie and Brad signed the lease on a $100,000-a-month home on Long Island. [Us, NYP]
• Michael Phelps has been hanging out at strip clubs, since it's the only place he can go without having his photo being taken. Good thinking. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan showed up to a party at Southern Hospitality on Sunday so she could hang out with Chace Crawford. But then he ditched her and she spent the rest of the night "glued" to model May Andersen. [OK!, P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says the next Sex and the City movie will have to be more recession-friendly. You think? [Us]

The New York Times' publisher's son has the increasingly rare privilege of a fresh newspaper job, at the Times no less. But his situation is not entirely enviable.

Now that Late Night has worked YouTube's apoplectic Hong Kong flight misser into its skit lineup, other parodies and mashups can't be far behind. (Or at least SNL.) Clip after the jump.

Muzzammil Hassan started Bridges TV in part to counter Muslim stereotypes. Instead, people are debating whether his brutal alleged murder of his wife was an Islamic honor killing.

Whoopi Goldberg's chat with Bill O'Reilly tonight was bizarre. O'Reilly told the black, female, comedian that he had risen from the "bottom rung" just like her. But that's not what angered her.

Presidents' Week Special [A Fine Blog]

A plugged-in tipster directed us to the freshly-uploaded YouTube video above, in which Rosenblat speaks to an unseen interviewer. He could be talking to a GMA producer in a pre-interview, doing media training with a publicist, who knows. (The video is carried in a YouTube channel named after Rosenblat, although the title of this video curiously misspells his last name.)

At least one blogger has condemned Tumblr for deleting her "reblogger" critics, writing "don't those cunts have the same freedom of blog rights that the rest of us?" But Julia Allison is "proud."

· She and 49 of her fellow Sin City prostitutes were outed over the weekend in a foxy newspaper spread. We can't wait for the calendar! Or the gigolo list, whichever comes first.