PETA ads: sometimes ill-advised, often nonsensical, frequently stupid, always predictable. But at least they were trying. Not any more. They went ahead and hired strippers.

"That's business," said Balek when Valleywag reached him by phone.

The most unfortunate ad campaign of the week thus far? This one for Covergirl mascara, which appears in the new issue of People and features the words "Light up your eyes" next to a photo of Rihanna who, as you may have heard, was punched in the eye by boyfriend (husband?) Chris Brown recently. [Guanabee via Gawker]

Former Huffington Post 'blog editor' Francis Wilkinson wrote a column about how no one pays people to write, anymore, so writing is once again just a hobby of the comfortable, but then he basically admitted that it's all his fault:

Last night was the last round of non-Wild Card semifinals of this, the eighth unending season of American Idol. A weird kid soared, one lady roared, and something called Lil' Rounds was fellated.

We hear that JupiterMediaWebMediaBrands, the company that bought Mediabistro for $23 million in 2007, has laid off 60(?) people [UPDATED below]. Most were tech workers and various parent company staffers. The lone Mediabistro casualty:

You'd think Merrill Lynch executives would have learned their lesson by now. Just two weeks after getting chastised in the press for sending employees down to the Ritz-Carlton in Orlando for a "training event"—and despite all the negative PR the firm has sustained in recent weeks, including revelations about corporate pay just today—a big group of Merrill employees are now resting comfortably by the pool. Again. A tipster informed us that Merrill was conducting yet another warm-weather event at the fancy Orlando hotel today. We called the hotel, asked for the front desk, and then requested to be connected to the conference room where the Merrill Lynch conference was taking place. "Global Wealth Management," said the kindly woman who answered the phone before confirming to us that a Merrill event was, in fact, taking place at the hotel. (Alas, she wouldn't say how many Merrill employees were on hand for the conference, or if any taxpayer-funded golf events were on the agenda today.) But we're guessing Andrew Cuomo will be terribly disappointed to hear he wasn't invited.

Is there some sort of secret PR campaign by the advertising industry underway? Yesterday we heard that commercials make TV better, and now a study suggests we will basically mimic whatever it is that we see onscreen. Movies and ads that depict people drinking alcohol, according to new research, directly increase viewers' own propensity to toss back a few. It might be too grim to contemplate exactly what other behaviors are being mindlessly copied, although when an entire generation reaches adulthood unable to utter a sentence unpreceded by "like," we'll know to hold Adam DiVello accountable.

Another children's book is ruined, Christopher Nolan plans his next project (yay!), a crazy old rich man gets his day in Hollywood, Mickey Rourke steamrolls on, as does, sigh Sherri Shepherd.

Oh look, just this morning laid-off banker and male model David Webb was profiled in the Observer, and here it's only lunchtime and we have an absolute treasure trove* of beefcake photos of him.

What is the best proof yet that Rush Limbaugh is the true voice of the modern, hilariously out-of-touch conservative movement? His tacky $44 million Palm Beach compound!

• The Wall Street Journal's new glossy mag, WSJ, will remain a quarterly and will not be going monthly as planned due to "market conditions." [WWD]
• Amazon is launching a program to let you read books by iPhone. [WSJ]
• Fox is ahead in the ratings with 18 to 49-year-olds thanks to the success of Idol, but CBS is gaining ground and is now No. 1 among total viewers. [LAT]
• As expected, Julius Genachowski has been nominated as FCC head. [AP]
• Cablevision will soon start targeting TV ads based on "income, ethnicity, gender or whether the homeowner has children or pets." [NYT]
• WNBC's new digital channel, New York Nonstop, launched Monday. [NYDN]
• David Carr's Carpetbagger blog will not be a year-round thing. [NYT]
• Good news, unemployed TV journalists: Dan Rather is hiring. [NYO]

Here you see a photo of swindler Bernie Madoff partying down on a recent New Year' eve. Partying down to hell, ha. In non-party hat Madoff news: is his wife delusional, or just greedy?

Felicity Huffman was on Letterman last night when the subject of her husband, William H. Macy, replacing the sushi-poisoned Jeremy Piven in the play Speed-the-Plow play came up. Felicity wasn't exactly kind to the Piv.

"My friend sat near Jeffrey Toobin on the way out to San Francisco on Sunday evening. Scotch and soda was his beverage of choice," reports a tipster. Can't say we blame him for indulging a bit given the news that emerged over the weekend.

Where is there to really start with Real Housewives of New York? This show is such a terrific pile of insanity. We were in the Hamptons again, kicking up sand and divets as always.

Zut alors, Michael Kors! Make sure your pockets are empty, Monica Lewinsky! Transvestite teenagers are jacking up residents of a fancy Greenwich Village building, for wig money. This is an important window into sociocultural relations:

If you ever idly considered going to Buenos Aires to enjoy its humid subtropical climate, tango music, and world famous zoo, just forget it. The entire city is now populated by laid-off American bankers.

Not every company is looking to take advantage of people who have been hit hard by the economic downturn. Archstone-Smith, the real estate conglomerate that controls 13 apartment buildings around town, says it will now allow tenants to walk away from their leases if they lose their jobs. JetBlue says it will refund fares to "some customers" who were laid off after buying tickets. And even Hyundai claims it will buy back vehicles from customers who lose their jobs. It's not clear how you're supposed to prove you've been laid off, but your unemployment check stubs and perhaps a few damp tissues soaked with your own tears should do the trick. [Bloomberg]

Guess you'll have to leave NYC to be happy. According to a new survey by the Pew Research Center, "suburbanites are significantly more satisfied with their communities than people who live in cities, small towns or rural areas." Also: The freezing cold weather isn't helping matters. The survey found the most "satisfied" people living in "southern and western U.S. communities." See you in Scottsdale! [Reuters]