You could keep playing ping pong in your life, if you were so inclined, but what would be the point, really, when the ultimate and most chill ping pong thing has already happened, and it wasn't you who did it, so why even bother?

In the course of doubling down on his widely-disputed claims about what exactly he was doing in Argentina during the Falklands War, Bill O'Reilly also managed to threaten a New York Times reporter.

The three Los Angeles Police Department officers who shot and killed Brian Beaird after a car chase on live television in 2013 will not face criminal charges, the Los Angeles Times reports. Beaird, a 51-year-old a National Guard veteran, suffered from mental illness.

Officials announced that evidence from 6,663 untested rape kits in Houston has produced 850 hits in the FBI's national DNA database, the Associated Press reports. Charges have already been filed against 29 people since the $6 million effort to clear the backlog was launched in 2013.

Ben Woolf, an actor on American Horror Story, has died, the Associated Press reports. Woolf was hospitalized last week after being struck by a car.

Attention all MH370 conspiracy theorists: The journalist Jeff Wise has a big essay in New York magazine detailing his personal theory for why the aircraft disappeared nearly one year ago. Even better: Wise will be dropping in tomorrow at 2:30 p.m. EST to discuss the essay (and more) with Gawker readers.

A tanker truck carrying around 8,000 gallons of gasoline overturned and exploded on a highway in Pennsauken, N.J. Monday morning, CBS Philly reports. The driver escaped with minor injuries.

Anne Schuchat, the director of the Centers for Disease Control's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, has strenuously denied that there is any evidence supporting claims of a connection between the United States' recent measles outbreak and undocumented immigration, the Guardian reports.

Aaron Schock, GOP boy wonder, might soon have some problems that are much larger than office decorations or, uh, that other stuff. According to a new AP report, the Illinois representative used over $75,000 in campaign donor funds since 2011 for private air travel, several concerts—including a Katy Perry show—and, because Congressmen work very hard, massages.

Authorities say the retired Westchester, N.Y., police officer who killed himself early Saturday morning after fatally shooting his two teenage daughters left a suicide note behind.

While you wait on the inevitable porn parodies of this years' best picture nominees, enjoy this comprehensive guide to smut versions of winners past, from Sperms of Endearment to Lawrence of Alabia.

Bikram yoga, a popular brand of super-hot yoga run by a Speedo-sporting, hip-thrusting alleged sex guru, is experiencing a crisis of faith as multiple sexual assault lawsuits move forward against its figurehead and namesake, Bikram Choudhury. The New York Times reports hot yoga studios are dropping their Bikram branding due to the six civil suits now pending against him, the most recent of which was filed just a week ago.

During an AMA to promote CITIZENFOUR this afternoon, reddit moderators temporarily banned the Oscar-winning documentary's subject from commenting. Edward Snowden was forced to sign-in through another account to explain the delay in his answers. "Hey guys, sorry — the reddit mods are being a little weird. My account is /u/SuddenlySnowden," Snowden wrote. "Mods: Can you pull back the ban? I can't post from the primary account. Thanks."

Here's a modern fable about Florida: There once was a young man from Maine, who traveled to Tallahassee to "party with the Rainbow People in the national forest." While there, he attempted to pay his $10 tab at a sports bar with a rock. And that was the most sane and reasonable thing he did all night.

Ever wanted to know how the Deaf community incorporates terms like "photobomb," "onesie," and "emoji" into the American Sign Language vernacular? New site Hopes and Fears has a really interesting gif-filled feature on what happens when internet slang gets translated to sign language. Worth a read.

NSA leaker Edward Snowden's mammoth whistleblowing trove is still being worked through, two years after it was first leaked. Now, Al Jazeera and The Guardian are offering another blockbuster cache—"The Spy Cables."

Should you lift weights to heavy metal? Should you cardio dance to hip hop tracks? Should you run the streets listening to podcasts? NO.

In an entertaining game of wits published yesterday on Medium, writers Virginia Heffernan and Paul Ford spent two months attempting to instill the fear of God in the other with their email subject lines. You know the kind.

An ex-police officer in Georgia was found dead Sunday night after he allegedly killed his wife and wounded two law enforcement agents.

At the Oscars last night, several celebrities admirably used their time on stage to speak about issues like equality, discrimination, and poverty. This would have been a good time to rob their houses.