Another reason to hate California. Their Miss USA entrant, Carrie Prejean, doesn't think gays should marry, she announced live on the pageant Sunday night. She was on the Today show this morning elaborating her point.

Mark Wahlberg finally gets to fight. Jenny Bicks is a writer you should be jealous of. People love a good real-life murder mystery, whether it's set in Aruba or Colorado. And they love Debra Messing too.

If there's one thing that formaldehyde-preserved Post columnist Cindy Adams hates more than things that could not happen "only in New York," it's Poindexter politicos using big words. Like today: "Regulation"?!?! Okay, mumbledy-dumbledy!

A new poll indicates that New Yorkers would rather have disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer running the show than current governor David Paterson. When given the choice to pick any of the last four governors to lead the state, just eight percent picked Paterson. It's unclear if this means that Paterson now more unpopular than ever, or if it's because Spitzer's campaign to redeem himself is finally paying off, but we'll leave that to you to decide. [NYP]

It's a challenge that few in the fashion industry would be brave enough to undertake, since the results not only lay bare one's style acumen, but cut to the very heart of the rag trade's dependence on mythically overvalued clothes. So we applaud Parsons dean of fashion Simon Collins and designer Randi Rahm's willingness to participate in the Wall Street Journal's little game that asks: Can you identify the $1,145 designer dress, pulled from the rack at Barneys, among various cheap things including Thakoon Panichgul and Behnaz Sarafpour's lines for Target, and Comme des Garçons and Roberto Cavalli's for H&M?

ABC News' Jake ("The Octogon") Tapper just can't keep all his tough-as-nails, ballsy, hard-hitting questions inside, so he's started interrupting his fellow reporters and posting about it on his blog IN BOLD.

Abdiwali Abdiqadir Muse is the biggest young star to hit New York since the inimitable Lady Gaga! He's a teen Somali pirate; he's already famous; and he's about to be demonized for our collective amusement!

[Model Kate Moss at a Garden Centre store in London; image via INF]

• Leona Helmsley's former estate in Greenwich is now available at a discount. Priced at $125 million when it first went on the market last year, the 40-acre manor-style property known as Dunnellen Hall is now just $75 million. [GT, DO&A]
• Investor Paul Cejas has put his two-bedroom, fifth-floor apartment at 834 Fifth—the building that's home to Rupert Murdoch, Woody Johnson, and socialite Carroll Petrie—on the market for $18.5 million. [NYO, BHS]
• John Legend has cut the price of his apartment at 72 East 3rd Street, which he purchased in 2005 and originally listed for $1.245 million last December. The two-bedroom condo is now priced at $1.195 million. [NYM, PDE]

The New York Times Co. released its financial results for the first quarter this morning, which are just as bad as expected. Or, more accurately: even worse than expected.

Today we have an actor who really shouldn't be drinking but really is, an actress dating a bad man, and a wife using her husband's gay secret as leverage in a divorce.

Eliot Spitzer hailing a cab on the corner of 51st Street and 7th Avenue with his gym bag and tennis racquet in hand ... Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins heading into the Angelika Film Center ... Mary J. Blige arriving at LaGuardia ... Lily Allen walking around with a blanket over her head for some reason ... Terrence Howard leaving the movies ... Spike Jonze carrying Matilda Ledger on his shoulders in Brooklyn ... Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick leaving the Broadhurst Theatre on West 47th Street ... Josh Hartnett hanging out with his parents in Soho ... playwright Sam Shepard walking in the West Village ... and Jennifer Aniston standing under an umbrella on the set of The Baster.

Been going to interviews but failed to actually get a new job? It's not because there are umpteen as many unemployed people as openings, but because of your slobby attire and poor grooming, says a man who'd really like to give you a makeover. "Image consultant" David A. McKnight is offering jobless New Yorkers a bargain $300 session, during which you'll be offered the kind of profound wisdom that only members of a specially ordained group of bossy gays are licensed to sell: wear better clothes!

Michael Bloomberg has been pretty cranky recently, have you noticed? It didn't just start last week when he had a hissy fit at a press conference. The Times's Clyde Haberman thinks that the mayor has "been in a chronic bad mood for half a year, more or less since he won his battle for a change in the law to give him a shot at a third term." But what could be getting under his skin? He's the richest man in New York. He won the battle to overturn term limits. His real estate holdings have expanded. And he hasn't been forced to give up his plane like so many other moguls. Guess we'll just have to wait and wonder. Unless, of course, you happen to be his shrink and you're willing to violate doctor-patient confidentiality, in which case we'd love to talk to you. [NYT]

Tina Fey and her husband Jeff Richmond have a new Upper West Side apartment to call home. The couple picked up a co-op at 300 West End Avenue for $3.4 million, substantially less than the asking price of $4.1 million. The fourth-floor apartment features four bedrooms, eat-in kitchen, living room with wood-burning fireplace, library, private elevator landing, and a view that includes "a peek of the river." A peek at the apartment and floorplan after the jump!

Her Royal Majesty turns 83 today. Feel free to use this an excuse to take your British friends to lunch and order a celebratory cocktail. Others celebrating today: Charles Grodin is 74. Filmmaker John Cameron Mitchell is turning 46. Andie MacDowell is 51. Patti LuPone turns 60. Author Nell Freudenberger is 34. Ugly Betty's Eric Mabius is turning 38. Tony Danza is 58. Iggy Pop is turning 62. Former congressman Gary Condit is 61. The Cure's Robert Smith is 50. And Tony Romo, the NFL quarterback who has to put up with Jessica Simpson for so long now, turns 29 today.

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to the Stop & Shop in Oyster Bay with two of their kids on Saturday and were "very friendly" to employees of the store. Please try to contain your amazement. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan must be hard up for cash, since she's reportedly in discussions to star in a topless show in Las Vegas. Even worse: She seems to think it will "really revitalize her career and give her some serious theater cred." [Fox]
• Early Show anchor Julie Chen and her boss/husband, CBS chief exec Les Moonves, are expecting their first child this October. [P6]
• Speaking of kids, Amy Winehouse's rep says that the rumors the singer is adopting a child from the Caribbean are untrue. Be thankful for that! [DE]

• Government officials—the people who essentially run Citigroup these days—have had talks about replacing CEO Vikram Pandit. About time! [FT]
• UBS is considering selling all or part of its hedge funds business. [Reuters]
• The Treasury Department's plan to rescue banks by having the government link up with private investors is "inherently vulnerable to fraud," says a government investigator, which is not very reassuring news. [WSJ, NYT]
• All the financial institutions that reported better-than-expected results may have also undermined investors' confidence in the sector. [NYT, DB]

You have to admire a renaissance basketcase: Lindsay Lohan is thinking of dancing topless, Michelle Rodriguez advised a male stripper and Mel Gibson's lady friend is also a sort of paper blogger.

Jim Goldman, the shameless Apple parrot and CNBC correspondent, did his best for the computer company in an on-air price comparison the other day. But he had to lift his argument wholesale.