Fortune's massive article on Bernie Madoff is online and well worth your time if you have a free hour or so to spare today. You'll be pleased to hear the admitted fraudster is doing just fine in his 76-square-foot jail cell. He's exercising and reading a lot of books, and "looks surprisingly good these days." As always, if you'd like to drop Bernie a line and say hi, here's how. [Fortune]
Look, when you've got an extended family in Brazil to support, not to mention a private jet on order, earning tens of millions from modeling contracts doesn't necessarily provide the security you need, okay? So it's only natural that Gisele would want to supplement her earnings with a little gambling. Mrs. Tom Brady, already the world's highest earning supermodel, says she's won more than a million dollars in just four months by betting on Italian soccer team Inter Milan. Life really isn't fair, is it? [Metro]
• Russell Simmons' brother Danny, who runs a gallery in Brooklyn and co-founded the Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation with his brothers Russell and Rev Run, has put his 2,000-square-foot loft in Clinton Hill up for sale for $1.175 million. [WSJ, Corcoran]
• Raphael De Niro, the son of Robert De Niro and a managing director at Prudential Douglas Elliman, has a new apartment. He and wife Claudine paid $2.9 million for a three-bedroom condo at 497 Greenwich Street. [Real Deal]
Hey, battered magazines: Elizabeth Arden will trade advertising for a little bloodsport. Do you have what it takes to stab another title in the neck?
Gossip Cindy Adams celebrates her 79th birthday today. Barbra Streisand is 67. Designer Jean-Paul Gaultier turns 57. Mets star Carlos Beltran is turning 32. Playwright Eric Bogosian is 56. Djimon Hounsou (and Kimora Lee's significant other) is 45. Political reporter Andrew Kirtzman turns 48. Mystery writer Sue Grafton is turning 69. Veteran diplomat Richard Holbrook is 67. Kelly Clarkson is 27. Cedric the Entertainer is turning 45. And Shirley MacLaine is 75. Weekend birthdays—including that of the newly-named worst CEO ever, Dick Fuld, this Sunday—after the jump!
All relationships are "complicated," Facebook: Heidi Montag can't sell pictures of her stupid re-wedding, so why bother; Miley Cyrus is sheepishly two-timing and LiLo and SamRo restored a tenuous digital connection.
What's stranger: The fact that this man was seen all over town yesterday marketing a sex toy website dressed as George Bush and holding a "Stimulating the economy" sign? (It seems no one has informed the company that Bush is no longer president and another guy is in charge of "stimulating" the economy these days.) Or that the name of the company references a TV show that went off the air half a decade ago? Hard to say! A tipster sent this in to us a little while ago, but there's footage of him acting out in Midtown, too, if you're interested.
Gawker has some questions for Jesse B. Watters, the Fox News producer that Bill O'Reilly likes to send out to ambush his enemies. So we're outside his building in Long Island. Right now. (Hi, Jesse!)
• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated," and says she and LiLo have started talking again, which may mean they're getting back together. [Us]
• Mary-Kate Olsen "kept touching" actor Bradley Cooper at a Tribeca Film Festival party, which could be a sign that they might be dating. [NYDN]
• Parker Posey showed off her new man at the festival, too. She's dating a sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. [NYM]
• After a two-month wait, the nation's 19 largest banks will start to hear today how they did on those stress tests conducted by Washington regulators. [NYT]
• If the test indicates Citigroup will need more money to stay afloat, Vikram Pandit can probably kiss his job as the bank's CEO goodbye. [NYP]
• Andrew Cuomo is urging federal regulators to investigate allegations that Hank Paulson and Ben Bernanke applied pressure to Bank of America chief Ken Lewis to go ahead with the acquisition of Merrill Lynch. [WSJ, NYT, CNN]
• Chrysler is preparing to file for Chapter 11 as soon as next week. [WSJ]
• Is fashion in need of a bailout? Some people seem to think so! [NYT]
• The debut of Matthew Williamson's line for H&M resulted in a "mild frenzy," although it didn't reach Topshop levels of craziness. [Racked, NYM, Racked]
• Meanwhile, Williamson's debut in London attracted the likes of Sienna Miller and Mischa Barton, among others. [Vogue UK]
• Suggestions on places to eat in the vicinity of the Tribeca Film Festival. [NYP]
• It's going to be hot this weekend. Luckily for you, the backyards at Bobo and Table 8 are both open for business (or will be by this weekend). [Eater]
• Balducci's on 14th Street closes this Sunday and there's a big sale underway, not that there's much of anything left on the store's shelves. [GS]
• David Burke's coping with the downturn just fine, thanks very much. [WSJ]
• Matt Levine of Eldridge infamy is making over Thor. [GS]
• Tom Potter, the retired co-founder of Brooklyn Brewery, is hoping to establish Brooklyn's first whiskey and gin distillery. [Brooklyn Paper]
• At last night's City Harvest auction, a private dinner by Eric Ripert went for $45K. Surfing and dinner in the Hamptons with Marc Murphy took in 14K. [GS]
