"Has anyone else noticed that Anish Kapoor looks like an Indian Graydon Carter?" asks a reader. (Kapoor, in case you were unaware, is a famous sculptor and lives in Bombay.) To be perfectly honest, the thought never dawned on us! But looking at the photos side by side, we have to admit it: The reader has a point. Naturally, we have no idea if Kapoor set out to resemble the Vanity Fair editor. But if he really wants to make the similarity stick, he's probably going to have to make an investment in some hairspray. The South Asian climate is no friend of the seagull haircut, that's for sure.

• Kelly Killoren Bensimon isn't having much luck unloading her 2,800-square-foot home in East Hampton, which she put on the market for $14.5 million two years ago and was most recently offering for $10.9 million. The Further Lane estate has now been taken off the market, although Bensimon hasn't given up hope on finding someone willing to pay $295,000 to rent it for the summer season. [NYP, DM]
• Raef LaFrentz, a power forward for the Portland Trail Blazers, has picked up a New York pad. LaFrentz paid $1.7 million for a two-bedroom condo in the Liberty Lofts building on West 64th Street. [Cityfile]

Barbara Walters can't remember which, uh, presidents have been on The View; Oprah Winfrey can't work a BlackBerry and Jennifer Aniston can't talk to Bradley Cooper without whispers and chest-touching.

Porn icon Traci Lords turns 41 today. Attorney H. Rodgin Cohen, the chairman of Sullivan & Cromwell and one of the foremost authorities on banking law, is 65. Former New Mexico Senator Pete Domenici is 77. Comedian Doug Benson is 35. Herbert Siegel, who assembled a media empire before selling it to Rupert Murdoch for $5 billion, is 81. Tech entrepreneur and occasional political candidate Andrew Rasiej is turning 51. Soap star Michael Knight of All My Children is turning 50. Acclaimed author Peter Carey is 65. And movie director Amy Heckerling (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Look Who's Talking, Clueless) turns 55 today.

Peter Brant seems to be going through the billionaire's version of mid-life crisis. It's been brutal on his second, and soon to be ex-, wife.

• After 16 years of marriage, Stephanie Seymour has filed for divorce from her polo-playing, art-obsessed husband, Peter Brant. And it doesn't sound like he's taking it well: The mogul reportedly changed the locks on the couple's Greenwich mansion, and is now forcing Stephanie to sleep in the maid's quarters and threatening to take custody of their three kids. The good news, at least as far as the public's concerned: From the looks of it, the split could be just as riveting as last summer's Brinkley-Cook saga. [P6]
• Kiefer Sutherland is expected to turn himself in to the NYPD today for headbutting Jack McCollough. The penalties may be stiff, too, considering he's still on probation from a 2007 DUI arrest. [NYP]
• The Malawian father of baby Mercy says he was appalled by what Madonna wore to the Costume Institute gala this week, since she should "feel ashamed in that gear." We couldn't agree more. [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan spent the night at Sam Ronson's house and changed her BlackBerry messenger name to "LL loves Sam Ronson" on Tuesday, which probably means the two are getting back together. [People]

• Bank of America chief Ken Lewis and several federal officials will be asked to testify under oath as part of an investigation into whether BofA was pressured by the government into completing its deal with Merrill Lynch. [WSJ]
• The stress test tally thus far: Of the 19 big banks under review, six don't need to raise capital, seven others need to come up with some cash, and it remains to be seen what category the other six will fall into. [WSJ]
• General Motors, which faces a June 1 deadline to sort out its troubles or file for bankruptcy, reported a $6 billion loss for the first quarter. [NYT]
• The number of people filing initial claims for unemployment benefits fell last week, and to their lowest level in more than 3 months, too. [CNN]

Oh, delicious, bacony irony: The news media have created such a panicked frenzy over swine flu that some people are now considering deliberate infection, so as to avoid DEADLY accidental infection.

"This structure appears often on 30 Rock: Liz starts from a progressive perspective before coming around to Jack's way of seeing things... even as [Jack's] worldview is satirized, it's often presented as inevitable." [Slate, via]

Kiefer Sutherland's going to surrender to New York police to answer an assault complaint after head-butting a designer at SubMercer the other night. This could end in torture for Sutherland's show, 24. Such delightful turnabout!

The creator of the brilliant television series The Wire today asked Congress to legalize monopolistic collusion by newspapers. Only they can really cover City Hall, he said. Apparently he hasn't been there in a while.

Crunch filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection today. The chain won't be disappearing, though. The chain reports it has a buyer lined up and willing to take over, and only two locations willl close as the company reorganizes. As part of the filing, Crunch also revealed that it owes more than $100 million to 50,000 creditors. So if you check your credit card statement next month and you see you were "accidentally" billed you for the next three months, that probably means you're one of them. [Reuters, Crain's]

Her Met Costume gala is finished. Boss Si Newhouse is cutting back on town cars, so proud Anna Wintour must walk home, alone. Of course she's mopey. Shooter Heron Preston has the second shot here.

Twitter is like a real-time conversation! And just like many conversations, sometimes you want to cover your ears, Eric Eldon, Micki Maynard, Ellen McGirt and others teach us:

• Jack McCollough's orange Oakleys couldn't cover up the scratch left behind by Kiefer Sutherland's headbutt the other night, although thankfully the Proenza Schouler co-founder wasn't seriously injuried in the incident. McCollough's rep said today he was the victim of a "vicious, violent, unprovoked assault." And the NYPD seems to agree. Sutherland is expected to be charged with assault tomorrow. [People, NYP]
• You may have thought Azzedine Alaïa was having a lousy week what with the plot by Anna Wintour to snub him at the Costume Institute gala. But he appears to be rebounding nicely. Michelle Obama wore a lovely Alaïa number to the Time magazine party last night. [FWD]
• Speaking of the gala, it raised $2 million less than last year. [WWD]
• Derek Lam's first boutique opens tonight. [Style.com]

Clever libertarians don't just rail against government spending: They do something about it. Facebook investor Peter Thiel took $8 million from New York's pension fund — while setting himself up to avoid millions in taxes.

[Film mogul Harvey Weinstein attends a party in New York last night for the book The Skinny: On Losing Weight Without Being Hungry; pic via Getty.]

• Frank Bruni weighs in on David Burke's Fishtail in the Times this week, giving the eatery a single star for its "real charms" yet "deeply fatiguing" menu. [NYT]
• A look at the menu at Table 8, which opens tonight. [GS]
• Jay Cheshes hits up Silvano Marchetto's two new outposts in this week's Time Out, Scuderia and Da Silvano Bistecca. [TONY]
• Oprah's KFC sandwich giveaway sparked a riot today. [Gothamist, Gawker]
• Eight "new" rules on ordering wine while dining out. [NYP]
• "Real Housewife" Alex McCord's top food pics in Cobble Hill. [GS]
• Four Seasons co-owners Julian Niccolini and Alex von Bidder were roasted in honor of the eatery's 50th last night. Daniel Boulud on the duo: "The only thing these guys know about food is how much to charge for it." [NYT]

Today's question for incomprehensible Salon advice-giver Cary Tennis comes from someone who writes "I am 25 AND I HAVE A HARVARD DEGREE!" So what is the problem?

Here is an odd commercial for a North Carolina furniture store showing black people and white people agreeing that this is a good furniture store, in North Carolina. What is this?