TV upfronts are happening across the land, and there were some surprises. Some shows were canceled, others renewed. The circle of life, of sowing and reaping, continues.

Is Donald Trump really a billionaire or is it all smoke and mirrors? Details about Trump's true net worth are emerging in a New Jersey courtroom as Trump goes head to head with Tim O'Brien, the author of 2005's TrumpNation: The Art of Being the Donald. In his book, O'Brien had the nerve to suggest the real estate mogul was only worth between $150 and $250 million; Trump, enraged by the estimate, fired back with a $5 billion defamation lawsuit. At the time, Trump explained that the size of the suit was based on what he was actually worth, although as depositions in the case now show, Trump wasn't exactly sitting in front of an Excel spreadsheet as he tallied up his assets. (At one point, he said that he relied on "mental calculations" to come up with his figure.)

In March we told you about "Invoiceworks," Viacom's Kafkaesque new system for paying (or not!) its freelancers. How bad is it? We present to you, "22 Invoice Rejections at Once":

Recently two films have shocked the world with graphic depictions of violence followed by acts of sex: Bob Dylan's Beyond Here Lies Nothing and Lars Von Trier's Antichrist. Coincidence or zeitgeist? You decide.

NBC's Today this morning introduced us to some tech-addled teens who were helpless without their mobile phones. Let's all point and laugh, and cry.

In your job-searching Monday media column: Looking for work: college professors, Harvard Crimson editors, ombudsmen everywhere. Finding work: portly gossipmongers. All's well!

Nothing embodied the gaudy excess of New York's restaurants more than Central Park's Tavern on the Green. But today the restaurant is up-for-grabs and no one seems to be grabbing.

It's commencement season, which means a long list of celebrities and TV personalities will be heading to college campuses over the next few weeks to impart their wisdom on the future of America. But sharing useful advice with graduating seniors currently in a state of panic over the the bleak job market isn't easy when you're a celebrity earning millions a year, a fact made clear when Oprah appeared at Duke last weekend and told the crowd how happy she is now that she owns a private jet. Fortunately, other TV personalities have more appropriate speeches in store.

[Woody Allen arriving at a Manhattan courthouse today, on his way to settling that American Apparel foofaraw. Image via AP]

British physicist Stephen Wolfram today officially launched his new, massively-hyped search engine, Wolfram Alpha. Now for the inevitable letdown; and for the hard questions more journalists should have been asking weeks ago.

Andrew Breitbart, the one man fighting back against the terrible injustice that is the occasionally dumb opinions of Hollywood's rich liberals, does not care for protests interrupting his dinner!

The Way We Live Now: Besieged. New York City is crumbling into bloody class wars in the street, if selective anecdotes are any indication. Crime will follow you to your hotel! And, locusts! One day:

Morley Safer's 60 Minutes sitdown with Vogue editrix Anna Wintour was pretty soft. But there were some striking images of the fashion industry. Luxe and stridently over-the-top, even as it peers into a black abyss.

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] May 17th @ 7:20pm I spied Ryan Gosling sitting in a dark corner of Think Coffee, reading something in a binder with a look of deep concentration.

Celebrity spawn news! New York magazine has used a fair and impartial process to hire new interns, and one of them happens to be Steven Spielberg's son! Allow him to introduce himself [UPDATED below]:

• Monthly mags continue to suffer: Ad pages have dropped by 23 percent on average, although the situation is particularly dire at Condé Nast. [NYP]
• Maureen Dowd landed in a bit of hot water after it was revealed she'd "borrowed" from blogger Josh Marshall for her op-ed column yesterday. She's since offered a (dubious) explanation and apology. [E&P, HP, Politico]
• Television networks start selling ads for the fall season today as part of upfront week, although the economy is putting a damper on things. [NYT]
• Despite few successes and many failures, NBC golden boy Ben Silverman still has a job. For how much longer, though, is anybody's guess. [NYT]
• Angels & Demons was No. 1 at the box office with a $48 million haul. [WSJ]
• If you can't find Newsweek on newsstands, that may be because the magazine has totally redesigned itself. [Newsweek, WaPo, HuffPo]

In 1973, CBGB opened, giving punk its first home. In 2007, the club closed but now chef Daniel Boulud is opening DBGB, a French restaurant, a few doors down. Is paté the new punk rock?

Sigh. We warned you this day would come. Lauren Conrad, the moon-faced star of MTV's The Hills, is set to release her first young adult novel. And her former intern haunt Teen Vogue has an excerpt.

For magazines, the first quarter of this year was hell. Particularly for Conde Nast. Now, ad sales figures for the first half are out. They're hell. Particularly for Conde Nast!

Good news if you are a Bush administration official who authorized abuses of power after a 24 marathon: you can't be sued!