The Way We Live Now: Besieged by indignity. H&H Bagels is drowning in debt! Book fairs and organic dairies are threatened! It's a veritable Yupocalypse:

You there, in the suit. Why don't you change into some cashmere and twill before heading up to the Soho House? Because, um, you have to. The posh British pool club and society dump has instituted a No Suit rule, in an effort to keep finance asshats out.

Record producer Phil Spector was sentenced to 19 years to life in prison for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson. He'll be eligible for parole in 2028, when he'll be 88. [AP]

I have no idea! It's just an eye-grabbing headline. Like Michael Wolff's own headline on his onanistic daily column today: "Is Sonia Sotomayor Gay?" Michael Wolff has no idea. But he made you click, ha!

An annoying TV show would like some recognition, please. Terrible originals and remakes are getting made all over town. Danny McBride continues his ascendancy. And people get TV deals and I don't.

Last evening our night watchman Cajun Boy reported that Chicago radio talker Erich "Mancow" Muller may have faked his waterboarding for publicity. We talked to both Muller and his waterboarder this morning, and the whole thing is a farce. Muller wasn't waterboarded.

Back in December, real estate kingpin Mort Zuckerman dropped the news that he planned to change the name of Citigroup's headquarters in Midtown. ("We're tired of the fact that every time Citibank has a problem all of the TV cameras come and photograph the Citigroup Center sign on the front of our building," an exec at Zuckerman's Boston Properties confessed to a reporter at the time.) It's a done deal! Although Boston Properties didn't find another company willing to pay to stamp its name on the front of the office complex, as of June 1, it will be known as 601 Lexington Avenue. Citi won't be updating employees' business cards and stationary, which is a good thing since that will save US taxpayers from extending the bank a bailout at Kinko's. The saddest thing? It's Citi defeatist attitude about the switch: "These changes were made by the building's landlord, Boston Properties, to greatly enhance the building and reflect its prestigious tenancy," reads the Citigroup memo. Consider the lack of Citi branding on the front just such an enhancement; now you just need to buy stock in Boston Properties to take advantage of the sudden rise in property values. [Dealbreaker]

And in yet more shitty news from New York, a white cop shot a black cop dead. He was in plain clothes and had drawn his gun, but he was carrying his shield. It is "unclear if Edwards identified himself," which probably means he didn't have time to. [NYDN]

Yesterday, executives from most of America's biggest newspapers held a hush-hush meeting about the future of their dying industry. Isn't that basically, obviously, a huge violation of antitrust laws, probably? No, thanks to the corporate freedom-supporting Supreme Court!

State Senator Hiram Monserrate, who allegedly slashed his girlfriend with a glass when he found either drugs or another man's business card in her purse (then he tried to take her to a hospital outside city limits), would like his charges dismissed, please.

Soho House has instituted a "No Suit" rule in order to reduce the number of bankers who have invaded the members-only club in recent years. Per the memo: "We recently celebrated our fifth anniversary and want to make sure we are staying true to our creative roots. We are not pinpointing specific industries, but want to make sure that our members are great creative types." [Gawker]

You know what, Adam Lambert? Just can it with the coy shit. Everyone knows the American Idol second-placer is a big ol' homo from Fruitington Corners, but in every goddamn interview the lurching behemoth always says things like "keep speculating..." And I wish he'd just man up and step out.

I mean, every single ad campaign in America has had some sort of 'Hard Times' theme since the stock market tanked. It's beginning to lose its force. They have to step it up a notch. You are literally living in the Dust Bowl, people! Buy your cleaning supplies or whatever!

Michael Steele evokes extremely unpleasant image, says GOP should stop "slammin' and rammin'" on Sotomayor.

We knew Michael Gross's exposé of the Metropolitan Museum of Art would ruffle feathers. It's juicy stuff, clearly. But we didn't expect it would be banned. But that's what seems to be happening. The Independent reports that Amazon's British arm has stopped selling Gross's Rogues' Gallery "for fear of action from a libel tourist," namely Annette de la Renta, the museum vice chair and wife of designer Oscar de la Renta, who has threatened Gross with a libel suit. The ban isn't limited to foreign retail outlets, however.

We tracked down Kevin Maher, the former FBI informant and ex-husband of Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey, whom he called a "coke whore." He's under a "contract" with Star for the exclusive to his story, so couldn't really talk. But he thinks Danielle's life is in danger.

[Aerosmith creaker Steven Tyler in New York yesterday; image via INF]

Today we have an older actress who, in the 80s, loved roaming the LES in her limo and picking up young Latino guys. So, we have something in common. Also we have an actress with eating problems.

Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell, who's been in jail in Philly since May 3, is finally going home to face charges in Utah.

Come the fuck on, Liptak. Did we need another one of these? "Judge Sotomayor's sharp-tongued and occasionally combative manner—some lawyers have described her as 'difficult' and 'nasty'—raises questions about her judicial temperament and willingness to listen." She's mean to lawyers! That's bad now?