Some kid got pegged by a 30,000MPH meteorite and he's fine. So toughen up.

What do you do when your media overlords cut your salary by 23% in order to keep your job alive? Do as the Boston Globe staffers are doing and throw a rainy-weekend BBQ to "celebrate" it, naturally.

For all the media fetishists in the house: Sharon Waxman wrote an excruciatingly facepalm-worthy report about what eating breakfast at NYC media-commissary Balthazar is like. Please go back to LA, and don't take my soft-boiled eggs with you. [HuffPo]

[A supporter of defeated Iranian presidential candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi hurls a stone at riot policemen during riots in Tehran today. Photo credit: Oliver Laban-Mattei/AFP/Getty Images. Read more coverage on today's Iranian elections here.]

The most exciting beef of the weekend has arrived: Mugatu inspiration Karl Lagerfeld and Heidi Klum are having a war of words.

Sorry. Problems have arisen. Please pay attention to Iran news. Or smoke. Or go to the barber and get a haircut with this guy. Negropedia Brown Mysteries will be posted later this eve.

What could cure cancer, the economy, and put lovable handles on Michael Phelps? Hold that thought. On the bong I've got: Jason Mulgrew, Jeff Weiss, and Anonymous Hedgefund Dude. We are from the future.

Look at the image. It's the cover of "TAN Magazine"! It existed in 1955. Guess who's excited about this? Me, cause I'm TAN. Also: ethnic love in Hollywood, and midget sex? Still relevant issues!

Not entirely unexpected: Iran's general election was held today, and guess what? Landslide in Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's favor! The result, called a "divine assessment" by Iran's Ayatollah, is clearly bullshit. Iranians are now taking to the streets (and Twitter) in protest.

The seemingly-populist, very evil Bank of America is a hive of rat bastards, and anyone that's ever done any kind of business with them will understand this sentiment. But they're now taking mercy on their sad, recession-hit customers.

We're having some issues with images and posts popping up on the site. Just because they're only headlines doesn't mean they're not real! Also: Hortense at Jezebel is having them too, so it isn't just me. Stay calm, people. This will all be over shortly. We'll get through it together.

Hello, salacious political gossip cross-section: in an interview with AC SlaterExtra's Mario Lopez, Levi Johnston revealed that he was "half-Mexican." Really?

Nikki Finke's got it on good authority that Roger Friedman's gonna sue Fox for his firing over watching a leaked copy of Wolverine. And he's talking about it in the (Fox/NY Post competitor) Daily News tomorrow. [DHD]

Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup:

Remember when it was the liberal guests who ended up looking like sputtering morons on the O'Reilly Factor? Tonight it was the host. Joan Walsh turned the tables.

The Twitterati ended the week punchy: Kevin Rose was plundering sofware; Anil Dash gleefully promoted the term "Facesquatting" and Mark Glaser lost his Kindle to a teenaged girl.

Run for your lives, Silicon Valley's terrifying nightlife is upon us! Any minute now, Twitter plans to start the party by assigning an extra-large numeric ID to a tweet, thus breaking various Twitter programs. Then Facebook makes its move.

This was a bad week to be a journalist, or outside, or looking at a TV, or awake.

[Olympic god Michael Phelps sports an unfortunate mustache at a swim meet in California; image via Getty]

The most cathartic part of our week is here! We have to read all the awful unapproved comments all week. You don't. Well, you didn't. Now you have to read six of the worst.