The Boy with the Yellow Rose was all set to meet Megan Fox on the Today Show this morning, but Michael Jackson's death nixed that. All's not loss: our tipster who found the young lad is now $5,000 richer.

And you thought all teens and twentysomethings were shallow wastoids. Turns out they hate The Hills and other muck same as you. At least execs at MTV are hoping that's true, as they've just completely restructured based on that assumption.

Never let it be said that Ronn [sic] Torossian was not among the very first shameless D-grade flacks to post a Youtube video opining on the future of Michael Jackson's "brand" before the man's body was even cold.

"Nightlife Preservation": The political cause you can support by sniffing coke in the Beatrice Inn bathroom! Is it possible to support a cause in theory while wishing its supporters would shut up, in practice? In this case, yes.

[Johnny Depp outside the Letterman show yesterday; image via INF]

Today we have an ex-politician cheating on her husband, a not-so-sober rock singer, an actress with some manner of sex principles, a snobby actress, and a girl who doesn't discriminate based on race.

Tru Life, a middling rapper signed to Jay-Z's label who loved to beef, has been arrested and charged with murder for the stabbing death of a man in Manhattan after a fight at a club.

Rumors of the Goldblum/Ford deaths were greatly exaggerated, David Gregory throws a hissy over Joe Scarborough, Kate Gosselin sports a bikini in the driveway, Kim Kardashian lusts for Megan Fox and Chris Brown and Rihanna want to touch.

Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno doesn't open in the U.S. until July 10th, but he's already out doing press for the film. Tonight he was the guest on The Tonight Show and, of course, he was utterly ridiculous.

Today will be a big day for newspapers as millions of people who normally wouldn't purchase a newspaper will flock to newsstands to buy a copy to commemorate the passing of an icon. Here's a sampling of today's newspaper covers.

Derek Jeter turns 35 today. Filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson is turning 39. Patty Smyth is 52. Jason Schwartzman is turning 29. Music impresario Irv Gotti is 39. So is former music exec-turned-marketing honcho Steve Stoute. Joanna Molloy of the Daily News is 54. Art director George Lois is turning 78. Actor Sean Hayes is 39. Guitarist Mick Jones is turning 54. Chris Isaak turns 53. Chris O'Donnell is turning 39. Former Jets quarterback Chad Pennington is 33. And scandal-plagued quarterback Michael Vick turns 29 today. Weekend birthdays below.

• An autopsy is scheduled to be performed on Michael Jackson this morning; just when the results will be back isn't clear. Meanwhile, attention is being focused on the drugs Jackson may have been taking just before he went into cardiac arrest yesterday, a "cocktail" that may have included the powerful narcotic Demerol. [AP, NYP, Sun, TMZ]
• Naturally, Jackson's death has led just about every living celebrity to issue a statement, extend condolences, and/or use otherwise clog up Twitter with some sort of thought on Jackson's passing. [People, Mirror, NYP]
• Jackson was reportedly $500 million in debt when he died. [NYP]
• As for how Jackson's kids are coping with the news, they're supposedly "very upset" but "fine," whatever that means. But no one knows who will take custody of them or if Jackson left behind and instructions. [Sun]
• In the meantime, Jackson's fans have been holding vigils outside the hospital where his body is located, outside the Neverland Ranch, and in front of his childhood home in Gary, Indiana, among other places. [TMZ, TMZ]

Kim Jong-Il basically threatened to nuke America Thursday at a massive rally in North Korea.

Now that Michael Jackson's passed away and the mad scramble to cover the breaking story has settled down a bit, the media can now turn its focus toward more important matters—How to profit from Jackson's demise.

Unparalleled in the history of American political corruption is the backwards collection of scoundrels, scallywags, hooligans, rascals and charlatans collectively known as the Louisiana State Legislature. So seeing a rapper blasting profane lyrics in their chamber is—Very funny!

James Franco: "Only the douchebags at Columbia would dare take a picture of me sleeping in class." Andy: "Why is that?" James Franco: "I sleep at NYU all the time and no one bothers me." [Columbia Student Andy Nguyen's Facebook]

We've received many emails tonight from readers taking issue with an Alessandra Stanley piece in the Times on Farrah Fawcett. Maybe it's the lede—"She really tried. And for a sex symbol that alone can be like an accomplishment."

Rupert Murdoch's Sun coaxed some paramedics and UCLA hospital employees into talking anonymously about Michael Jackson's death today, and according to those sources, Jackson collapsed shortly after an injection of the painkiller Demerol.

Tonight was supposed to be Anderson Cooper's Big Fat Coming Out party (Allegedly!). Instead he's covering Michael Jackson's death for CNN, where he just shared a special memory—Partying at Studio 54 with Jacko when he was 10!

Certainly you're sitting at home tonight thinking, "I wonder where Michael Jackson's corpse is right now?" Well, luckily for you, CNN is on it baby!