In your overwhelmed Friday media column: Iran just arrests everyone, for reporting, Conde Nast's September prayers will not be answered, a new chairman at the FCC, and the Mark Sanford source remains at large.

Aw. Non-MJ-mourner and celebrity Twitterer Ana Marie Cox will not host The Rachel Maddow Show tonight, because MSNBC is devoting all its primetime programming to the still-classified 2004 CIA report into interrogations and detentions. Ha ha, just kidding.

Twitter won't just give you a black eye; as Flavia Maria Boricea found out, Twitter also kills.

Bruno is involved in the whole Michael Jackson foofaraw, of course. There's a scene in the film where the Austrian gay toys with LaToya Jackson and tries to get her brother's phone number from her BlackBerry. Should Universal cut it?

• Both NBC and ABC plan to pre-empt regular programming this evening to air specials devoted to coverage of the Jackson story. E!, MTV, and CNN (among others) have specials airing over the next few days, too. [NYT, THR]
• Time is publishing a special Jackson "commemorative edition" on Monday. For its part, Rolling Stone has a "bookazine" in the works. [NYT, NYT]
• How newspapers around the world covered the Jackson news. [Guardian]
• And how the Jackson story kind of broke the Internet. [ABC News]

When Jermaine Jackson made a statement on his brother's death last night, he noted that Michael Jackson's family physician was with him when he collapsed. But who is he? And where's that doctor now? The world is looking for him.

At a fundraiser yesterday, VP Joe Biden tried, fruitlessly, to appease a gay community enraged by Barack Obama's not caring about their issues all that much. He is "not unaware of the controversy!"

Jessica Simpson walking out of Dos Caminos yesterday with her dog Daisy in a carrier ... Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos and their two sons, Joaquin and Michael, walking in Soho ... John Legend outside the Late Show with David Letterman ... Robert Pattinson on the set of Remember Me ... Samuel L. Jackson walking around dressed in what appears to be a mailman's uniform ... Johnny Depp attending a Late Show taping before heading to dinner ... and Anne Hathaway walking her dog.

The Way We Live Now: Waiting for that last big score. The government won't let us stop working. The economy won't let us start working. We just go to college and dream of finding a box full of cash.

So it's rather warm outside today. But it's also been a very rainy month: It rained 15 out of the first 20 days of June, in fact. What gives? Instead of taking the easy path and checking in with, say, weatherman Sam Champion on Twitter, Vanity Fair did one better and called up a MIT-trained physicist who analyzed climate change patterns for the Clinton administration. Impressive! We can't say we understood his explanation for why it's been the way it's been. But this we did understand one thing he said quite clearly: "It's going to get a lot worse." So, yes, you'll be carrying suntan lotion and earmuffs with you pretty soon. [VF]

Harvey Kindlon, the 11-year-old Boy with the Yellow Rose from London, loves singing and acting. He also likes to meet celebrities! We spoke to the poised youngster over the phone to get his side of the crazy Megan Fox story.

Any doubts about Michael Jackson's megastardom should have ended after news of the singer's death tripped up Google and crashed AOL Instant Messenger, Wikipedia, TMZ and, of course, Twitter. A survey of the epic traffic:

It's lonely at the top, as you may have heard. But we didn't realize it was this lonely. According to BusinessWeek, a big bunch of CEOs have joined social networking sites like LinkedIn and Facebook, but most of them have very few friends to speak of:

Did you picture Mayor Bloomberg as a Michael Jackson fan? It turns out he is. "I will always be listening to his music," he said before taking a dip in a public pool, which he does every year to kick off the Parks Department's swim season. "In the car on the way uptown I was listening to the music of Michael Jackson," he said. He didn't list off his favorite songs, alas. But we sure would love to see a reporter summon up the nerve to test him out at an upcoming press conference. The ball is in Azi Paybarah's court. [NYP]

Good lord: more than half of all deaths of Russians aged 15-54 can be attributed to "excessive alcohol consumption."

Farrah Fawcett, David Carradine, and Ed McMahon all just died. Oh, and Michael Jackson. Oh, and the Governor of South Carolina admitted to cheating on his wife. As did Senator John Ensign. And something about Iran?

Despite the Illuminati-supported ascension of a Negro Communist to America's throne, the John Birch Society continues to boldly exist, and do things, such as oppose the New World Order, from a strip mall in Wisconsin.

NYT: Contrary to expectations, black man does not kill baby bird.

Ana Marie Cox is guest-hosting for Rachel Maddow tonight! She is so psyched! Or she was, until a certain someone had to go and die unexpectedly yesterday.

Michael Jackson's death sent shockwaves across the globe yesterday. And as you've undoubtedly realized by now, the story will dominate news coverage for a long time to come. (The good news: At least no one is talking about Jon & Kate.) So who will ultimately benefit from Jackson's death and the ensuing media circus? Who won't? A very lengthy roundup of some of the winners (his record label, cable news channels) and losers (Jackson's plastic surgeon, his "personal physicians") after the jump.