Last night Glenn Beck's guest was ex-CIA person Michael Scheuer, who stated that the only hope for the country was for Osama Bin Laden to "deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States." Seriously.

Yesterday now-legendary conservative horndog Mark Sanford admitted that he'd "crossed the lines" with a "handful" of women not named Jenny Sanford during his marriage to Jenny Sanford, but claims he never "crossed the ultimate line." So what did he do?

The Reverend Al Sharpton dances with an anonymous woman at the Apollo Theater's tribute to Michael Jackson last night in Harlem. [Pic via Stan Honda/Getty]

The FDA is poised to ban the popular painkillers Vicodin and Percocet forever!

Last week Sony killed Moneyball, the Steven Soderbergh-directed $58-million baseball film starring Brad Pitt based on Michael Lewis' book about former Oakland A's GM Billy Beane, just five days before filming was set to start. So what the hell happened?

The rumor we reported earlier today about Gannett Newspapers laying off thousands was true. According to the Wall Street Journal, Gannett plans to cut between 1000 and 2000 jobs in the coming days. [Google/AP]

Pity the poor reporter dispatched to the Vegas strip to get "man on the street" reactions from drunk tourists on the death of Michael Jackson. Steve Ryan of "ABC13 Action News" was one such reporter, and he struck back hard.

We haven't followed Dennis Kneale's feud with financial bloggers, but it sounds hilarious: They call him "Beaker," "super dipshit," "clueless," and compare his show to a Saturday Night Live skit. Kneale wants the world to know.

Over the course of any single day, Gawker receives numerous press releases, many of them ridiculous and sad. This one may be the most ridiculous and sad we've ever seen. Poor John Ratzenberger.

Today we learned that Vibe Magazine was folding. Now Vibe founder Quincy Jones is distraught over the news and determined to swoop in and save the magazine. How? "I'm'a take it online because print and all that stuff is over."

• Betsey Johnson reports that she's thinking about retiring this fall. She plans to hand over the reigns to Eric Sartori. At least assuming he manages to "Betsey-fy himself," that is. [Cut]
• Kanye West's line of sneakers for Louis Vuitton has been delayed, but photos of the $700 kicks can now be viewed online. [Racked]
• Lauren Conrad, Mandy Moore, Jennifer Lopez: These are not very good times for celebrities-turned-designers, as you may have heard. Not that the bad news is stopping J.Lo from launching yet another fragrance, of course. [ABC News, People]

Fresh off the heels of 'flower-gate,' Megan Fox was involved in another 'hilarity-ensued' moment when paparazzi tried to take a picture of her eating with rumored sweetheart Shia LaBeouf after the 'Transformers 2' premiere last week. And yes, her bodyguards really do give the guy a wedgie.

AT&T failed to give Adam Frucci a sense of childlike wonder about his iPhone; Jimmy Jane's mobile device proved more satisfying to Melissa Gira Grant and Ana Marie Cox damned an internet conference with faint praise.

Two blogs, Texts From Last Night and Look at this Fucking Hipster, scored contracts at Penguin's Gotham Books imprint in the past week, the latest in an endless series of such deals. Shouldn't you get a piece of the action?

After ex-boyfriend Eminem took a potshot at her on his new album Relapse, Mariah Carey decided to beat the rapper at his own multiple-personality game, by dressing as him on the NYC video shoot for her latest single, "Obsessed" yesterday.

[A handout photo of Israeli President Shimon Peres in Kazakhstan today. This was a handout, so someone in the Israeli Press Office has a sense of humor!]

We've got a copy of Roger Friedman's $5 million complaint against News Corp. and Rupert Murdoch. When you sue someone for breach of contract, aren't you supposed to actually quote from the contract? Just asking!

The ad attempts to sell the new Internet Explorer Web browser on a simple premise: Your husband is probably looking at truly disgusting things on the internet, and this product will help him hide those things, from you.

All she wanted to do was get her poor little puking pug dog out of her tote bag on the L train. But then the cops arrived. And they were mean.